A minor parking issue with my neighbour used to stress me out every single day.

​I tried talking to him once, but nothing changed.

​Fast forward 6 months: An elderly family member passed away at his home.

​I put our disagreement aside, paid my condolences, and offered him my extra parking space for his visiting family and guests.

​That single gesture changed everything.

​From that day on, he voluntarily adjusted his parking style to make space for me. It’s been 6 years now, and he still does it.

​In corporate life and personal relationships, we often try to solve friction with arguments or authority. But pure empathy solves problems that logic simply can't.

​What you give out always comes back.

Just a reminder :)

I have an issue with my gf being on social media. Specifically here, on Reddit. I get jealous when she states that she's posted on here or has asked for advice. I don't want to hear about it, and I'd rather she felt fine after talking to me instead but she doesn't. She's always had a thing for needing validation for others, which in turn makes me feel worthless compared to those she seeks this validation from. I'm insanely jealous, and have looked through her socials more than once. I feel embarrassed and regretful about it every time, and I know that Im insecure. Yes this is very much hypocritical of me as I'm also posting on here (albeit for the first time ever), and I'd rather her have absolute freedom in whatever she does -- without being jealous.

How to not give a fuck?

Brilliant at fighting fears, but terrible at actually observing them.

We trap ourselves in a loop of overthinking.

Fear is an imagination of the future. And anxiety is believing in those imaginations.

The mind is like a film projector. And it shows you failure, humiliation, illness, loneliness, death. And you forget that this is just a screen, not reality. You become so immersed in that film that you forget the observer sitting behind the screen. Today, I have come to remind you of that observer.

The next time fear arises, don't fight it, don't run away from it. Close your eyes for a min, sit down, and observe where the fear is.

Is it in your hands? No. Is it in your eyes? No. Is it in your stomach? Perhaps there is a tingling sensation. But look carefully. Even that tingling sensation changing. That which is changing cannot be you.

This is the first understanding. You are not fear. You are not anxiety. You are not thought.

You are the one who is observing all these things.

But the mind does not like this idea. As soon as you begin to observe, the mind says, “What will this achieve? This is useless. Your problem is very big.”

Now I understand something deeper. Overthinking happens because you do not trust life. Fear happens because you want to control the outcome. Anxiety happens because you do not accept the present.

Your thoughts?

​

I recently learned that people sometimes use dark humor at work, especially in healthcare, to cope with the stress of dealing with death, difficult patients, and emotionally exhausting situations.

What exactly is dark humor? Could you share some examples of things people say in the ICU or hospital that would be considered dark humor?

If you work in healthcare, what are some examples of dark humor you’ve heard at work?

I’m genuinely curious and trying to understand this side of workplace culture.

I remember as a kid I never gave a fuck about how I looked and neither was i ever jealous of people who were better looking then me. I cared more about my hobbies and maintaining my non romantic relationships.

When I started 11th grade and had to move out of my home town it's like a flip switched and became so obsessed with how I looked and how others precieved me. I think the main reason was moving to a new place and meeting new people I realised how different people treated me when I looked good and when I didn't.

Another reason was I started getting a lot of compliments. When I was in my home town I never really interacted with strangers a lot and was mainly surrounded by people I had known since I was in kindergarten.

So the high of just random people coming up to you and telling you your gorgeous was intoxication.

Now I know I'm not ugly but I also know I'm not insanely pretty or anything. On most days, I don't get enough sleep, and the eye bags start showing and i have unpredictable curly hair that only looks good once a week.

And even knowing that I look fine, I'm obsessed with how attractive people find me to an unhealthy extent. I spend hours infront if the mirror to the extent my legs start hurting, I avoid mirrors cause I know I'd start spiralling, I cancel plans cause I know when I get back and see my tired face in the mirror I'd start spiralling again.

Small comments from people like "your eye bags are showing" or "you look tired" or "you need to gain a bit of weight" can ruin my entire day cause I won't be able to get the comment out of my head. I crave validation about my physical appearance so much that it ruins hangouts with my friends cause I can never stop wondering if they think I'm good-looking when they're talking to me.

I tried therapy once, and what do you know? Going to the sessions gives me anxiety cause I'd start wondering if the 60 year old female therapist thinks I'm ugly. Therapy isn't an option rn too cause of financial reasons, and I don't wanna waste that much money just to feel worse whenever i go out for the sessions.

I wish I could spend this much energy and time on my hobbies cause they bring me so much joy, but the compulsion is just so overbearing.

And it's not even rooted in wanting a romantic partner cause I have no interest in that anymore.

I want it to stop so bad. It's like I've lost the ability to think about anything els for more then 5 minutes and it's sucking the joy out of my life I've tried not caring but it doesn't matter how many problems I have in my life this one always comes on top. I got my finals result a few days ago that put's me in a position where I'd have a chance at getting in a top college if I do good next year and I didn't even feel happy about that for more then 2 minutes. I wanna care about other things so bad.