I still can't believe it actually happened. She was so strong. She never showed any pain. She handled every day of her long life like a fluffy little warrior.

I brought her home when I was 6 yeard old. Mom wasn't expecting this at all but in the end she gave up and allowed me to have her. I took her from my kindergarten's friend. She had a character since her first months and she didn't behave good at his home so they decided to give her away. They gave her name Alice and we kept it. I've seen this name only a few times since then so it was fitting her perfectly and it was unique as she was.

She actually had a `tortitude`. She was full of energy and interest to everything around. She liked running around the flat, hissing at any guests and pooping wherever she wants. But it never affected my love to her. I think she was the main reason for me being a cat person and me having a soft and emotional character. But she also was very supportive and whenever I felt bad she always came to me trying to release my pain.

I lived with her until I went to university in a neighbor city when I turned 18. She was already about 11-12 years old back then. We already thought she's a granny. I remember me having a small argument with my mom about Alice when she once again pooped (or peed) wherever she shouldn't poop (or pee) at these pre-university days. She said Alice is old and she's going to die soon. She was just emotional and she never said anything like this ever again but I remembered these words. Since then I was always afraid of loosing my kitty. But she felt perfect despite she actually might be considered a little old already. But she never looked old until her last days.

Being in a university, I spent 5-6 hours one-way to get to the home every weekend to met with a girlfriend. So I've seen Alice pretty often as well. I also used to spend every summer at home. She already was about 15-16 years old when I graduated and her age still wasn't noticeable at all.

Since then I used to come home for a couple days every few months. Alice was always there. She was a part of the home. She was the home.

She never had any significant health issues until a year ago. We never took her to a vet because there was almost none in our home town. But later we thought it would be too nervous for her to be seen by a vet. For the most part of her life we gave her simple home food and basic cat food whatever was available. In the last years I tried to pamper her with all the different cat food but mostly she still preferred the simple one. I even brought some cat treats from Thai trip. We never gave her any pills as well. As I said she has always been strong. She was just never looking sick or ill. We thought she never needed any treatment - but we were wrong...

But about a year ago she almost lost her hearing. A half a year later it was the eyes. The rustle noises could made her convulsing. I've seen it once during my second to last home visit 4 months ago and it was awful. I cried all the night. But still she looked pretty well. I thought it's just the age. But she was so strong... Even blind and deaf, she was independent. She never needed any help. At least she wanted to be seen like this. She walked around and had a good appetite until her last days. She was already older than 22. But along with all the diseases she started loosing weight and strength. I still thought it's just the age. I thought she's actually immortal. Mom thought the same. We were so proud of her. She was older then some of my friends. A lot of people couldn't believe it's even possible to have such an old cat.

I was worried but I still believed in her. But at the same time I thought that every time I see her might be the last time... And every mom's call may bring the bad news about Alice. So I tried to make some photos of her every time I went home. And mom has also been sending me her photos almost every week.

And the bad news call happened 2 days ago. She was mortal. Kidneys. I always knew it'll be kidneys. CKD... I thought it's incurable so there's nothing I can do but there was... I was so fixated on curing CKD that I never thought of curing symptoms. A few weeks ago I ordered a lot of AIM30 supplements but it couldn't make it in time... Uraemia hit her so hard she fell into a coma and died in 2 days. It was 24 hours ago. And I wasn't there. There was nothing I can do. I couldn't visit her in time... Mom treated her like a baby for the last half of the year and especially her last days.

I loved her so much. I still do. But I can't stop blaming myself for not trying to cure her. I know she had a long life. But I could win her a few months at least, maybe years. Meanwhile there could be AIM30 vaccine release and it could save her a few more years... It took me a few hours of asking Grok to figure out how to cure CKD symptoms. Why couldn't I do this at least a year ago... Now I can clearly see in the photos over the last year how she is going through the last CKD stages and looking weaker and weaker... Why haven't I notice it at least a year ago ... And it wasn't impossible to get all the supplements. But we were sure she's immortal... And she seemed so until her last days. Mom buried her in Alice's favorite bed on her favorite blanket...

A part of me just died. A part of the home just died. A part of the family. A part I can never replace. Now I don't know how to come home to mom. Now the home's half empty.

It hurts so much and I feel so much pain. But thank you for reading. I'll actually be so glad to respond to any kind comments.

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But I will tell you more about all the attached photos.

1. This is one of our first joint photos. I'm about 6-8 years old. She's about 1-3 years old.

2. This is one of our last joint photos. One of the best. It has been made a year ago. It was the first time I brought my new girlfriend home and she made some photos of me and Alice. Of course, Alice hissed at her and hid behind the couch. But I'm glad I finally introduced them to each other. We were together for more than 4 years at this moment when I actually brought her to my family home.

3, 4. I made these photos during my last home visit at the end of 2024. Dec 27. She still doesn't seem old and sick. She's still fluffy. And her smart eyes... From above she looks like a huge croissant. Her fur color is so unique, I've never seen a cat with a little similar fur color.

1. This is my mom's favorite photo. It has been made about the same time the 1 photo was.

2. This one is one of my favorite photos. It is actually called "hook tail.jpg". Mom used to give funny names to all the photos.

3. She's about 11 years old here. Look at these playful intelligent green eyes. I also love her face color pattern so much. White whiskers, white beard, white chest. Soft-pink lips. Sweet black nose. And these black and milk-coffee-ginger halves. And fluffy rabbit ears. She's perfect. I've never met a cat like her.

4. Fluffy tortie bumblebee.

5. Mom loved to dress her in different silly outfits.

6. She used to always come to me when I felt sad. She had infinite positive vibes.

7. She's 20+ here. Such a happy fluffy tortie rabbit. I can't help but smile looking at this photo.

8. 19+. These green eyes... I will never forget them.

9. 19+. She was so curious and inquisitive. What a cat... And these funny teeth and fluffy whiskers.

10. 22 years old. A half a year ago. Even then she used to walk on a balcony enjoying the sunny autumn weather.

11. 22+. A month ago. Even then she used to enjoy the sunny baths. But she started to look old and sick... I still thought she could overcome it...

16, 17. Some younger photos. She always loved the sun. And that smell, you know... Smell of the fluffy cat that has been lying under the sun... That warm sweet smell. This is my favorite smell. And it's so sad I will never fell it again...

1. The last photo. Yesterday. She's almost there. My sweet little Alice kitty...

Thank you for allowing me to share all my feelings.

My baby bean. My lovey girl. My peach toe. My peanut butter fudge loaf.

It's been eight days since I let you go. I tried everything to keep you with me. You were so tired. I could see it on your face.

5,951 days was not enough.

I knew your kidney disease was getting worse. I was in denial, and I wish I had acted sooner. I know that there was nothing more I could do for you even if I had, but I will carry that guilt for the rest of my life.

I miss your sweet little face. I miss the way you slept on my pillow between my arm and my face every single night. Now that you're gone, I toss and turn every night because you're not here. The spring term just started and I'm falling behind, because I can't sit at my desk without you here, because you're not here to lay on my chest while I work. I miss your trills and the way you always wanted to be close to me. I miss the way you yelled with Birdie in your mouth. I don't know how to exist without you.

I held you in my arms as you left this cruel world. I kissed your little forehead and told you over and over that it was okay, you fought so hard and now it's okay to let go. That you'll see grandma soon and she'll take good care of you. That I will find a way to be okay in your absence.

You fought the sedative. You didn't want to leave me. I didn't want you to leave me either, my love, but I had to let you go because you weren't eating anymore. I hope you know how hard I tried.

You left me at 2:09pm on April 5th. My life will never be the same. I can't breathe without you, and I died with you that day. I got your ashes back on Thursday and it doesn't feel real. How is this all that's left of you?

Hardly anyone checks in on me anymore. As if I should be over the loss of my entire world. We were girls together.

I knew we were on borrowed time many months ago. I threw you the best sweet 16 I could afford, because I knew deep in my heart that it was your last. But still, I kept hoping you would pull through. You were magical, you lived so many lives, and I kept hoping you had one more left.

I will never be the same. The hole in my heart has ruptured, and now there is a gaping chasm where you used to live. It pains me to leave the house because I have to come home to see emptiness where you should be.

I miss you. I will grieve you until my dying breath. I'm so grateful you're not in pain anymore, but the pain I've taken on for you is unbearable. I'd give anything to have you back, even for ten more minutes. I would sell years of my life just to kiss you behind your little ears one last time.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I made the heartbreaking decision to put Freya to sleep. She suddenly got super sick and was barely eating and drinking, so we took her to the vet where her blood work showed severe anemia and possible liver disease or failure. Hospitalization would’ve cost us thousands and wouldn’t have even guaranteed she’d get better, so we decided to not prolong her suffering and she passed peacefully in our arms.

To say we’re devastated is an understatement. She was only 2 1/2 years old and we first got her at 8 weeks old. She was our baby and our first pet we got as adults, so we were planning on having her around for much longer. To give us a sense of comfort, if anyone can post in the comments their dearly departed torties so we know who Freya is playing with, that would help us tremendously. 🥰

Cleo is 17 years old, and she has a cancerous tumour in her neck. She’s been by my side everyday… she’s raised my kids with me, been the best nurse to anyone sick in the house, and has been the sweetest little cuddle bug right up to the end. She is a fierce defender of any open box or bag in the house, gives so much sass, and has the most powerful purr I’ve ever known.

I hate this so much.

I wish there was anything we could do to give her more time, but because of where the tumour is, there’s not enough skin to successfully close the wound. She’s now scratched the skin on the wound completely off so the tumour is in the open and she’s in pain. I’ve been spoiling her all evening and I’m going to cuddle her all night, but no matter how much I spoil her, I still have to say goodbye to her. I feel so heart broken over this. I hate having to make this decision. I can’t stop crying and she’s not even gone yet. I’m not looking for advice or sympathy, I just need to get it out there, because I feel like I’m saying goodbye to part of my soul, and this sucks so much.

Please give your babies extra hugs and kisses from me tonight, and hold them while you can.

ETA: She’s gone. We had the privilege of having a mobile vet service come to our house and do it here where she was comfortable. They arrived at 2:30 and she was gone by 3:15. I had her on my lap the entire time, and she was surrounded by my husband, our two kids, and her furry siblings. Even in the end she kept her eyes on her family. But my sweet angel is gone now. Fuck cancer.

My soul cat, Beans (government name Sheesh Kebab Beanie the Weanus) who saved me countless times the last 14 years, is going over the rainbow bridge on Wednesday afternoon. I have had her my entire adult life. I love her with my entire being and cannot imagine going on without her. I adopted her when she was around 3 and she is 16/17 now. She has had many adventures and met lots of people who adore her, she has dined on some of the most exquisite food anyone has ever tasted, she has been a travel and life companion, she has been a therapist, she has a gold medal in slap boxing, she is a lover of snuggling under the blankets, she has the sweetest cursive meows, and she has my entire heart. I have never known a love so pure. My perfect Beanie. I will love you forever and miss you always.

Please post pictures of your kitties, I am in need of kitty content to soothe my aching heart. Hug your babies extra tight for me too.

We lost our beloved tortie so suddenly to a very serious illness. She was a gentle and very friendly lady, she loved life and loved us very much. Love you, Leia! You were the best cat a human can ask for! Rest easy, baby. We will miss you forever.

Edit: Thank you all for your warm words! I just wanted to let you know that your support helped us handle our pain and process our loss…You all shared love and kindness with us and we really appreciate it in this difficult time.

I adopted Franny on Valentine's Day, 2008. I was 24, just a baby myself.

We got the call this morning that no pet parent wants to get - it's her time. I knew it was coming but that doesn't soften the blow. Right before her 18th birthday.

She has seen me through losses, depressions, multiple moves. She once left a piece of poop in an ex's shoe. My wedding featured M&Ms with her face on them.

She is truly my familiar, my companion, my soulmate. We have been together in other lives and I'll know I will see her again....

We opted for at home euthanasia tomorrow afternoon. Please help me say goodbye to this absolute legend, the Frantito Burrito, the absolute best and most beautiful lady in the world.

Mila and I found each other at 22 and roughly 4 weeks. I was in no position to become a mother, and she certainly required a special person between her minimal teeth and teeny size to her tortiutde, which was a new but quickly understood term but an everlasting trait.

She has traveled with me across the country multiple times, done many moves big and small, was my comfort as my father battled and eventually passed from his cancer. We navigated break ups, escape attempts (Mila’s), roommates, big spaces and small. We have said goodbye to other pets together and as my family has grown, so has hers. We had our own language and she always knew she was my special girl. My custom painted kitty as I would remind her no one else has her same speckles.

She spent her final 4 years in the most beautiful oasis of a home and yard where she watched birdies and brought a few mice inside, a proud huntress and gift giver she was. I have never loved an animal more and I am so grateful for our bond and time. Her whiskers began to turn white, and she slowed down and softened up a lot. As I relished watching her cuddle with everyone I love I also knew what it was signaling. We were nearing the end of our road.

We only got 12 years, and no matter what I will always want more. But she has spent her final days with her discomfort mitigated, unlimited supply of only the stinkiest of seafood dinners, so many cuddles and I love you’s exchanged in both directions. Even her grandma is here to accompany her and me to the edge of the rainbow bridge. She is snuggled on her favorite blanket in bed napping next to me right now. I will miss her warmth and weight on my knees and elbows - her cuddle spots of choice. I will forever have her speckled paw print embedded in my heart and I will think about her always. If you read my tribute and took the time to see her photos, thank you truly. Rest in peace Sweet Mila aka Keek, Milita, Tortilla Chip, Tortoise, Miller Girl, Meels

God damn it. It finally happened. My 9 year old girl spent the night in the ER after multiple vet visits over the last week. Her prognosis is not good.

I had to make the hardest decision of my entire life today. I decided to take her home and give her all of my love and all of the treats scratches, catnip and cuddles she can handle before she crosses that rainbow bridge tomorrow.

It feels like a part of my soul is dying. I’ll love you forever Isabella, you sweet, talkative, tortie girl of mine. You were with me from 22-32. You watched me become a man. You were there for my best and my worst moments. Thank you for everything and say hi to mom and G for me. 💫 ♥️ 😢

The mods deleted my memorial post of Maple. I just wanted to share her with others now that I was ready to. Because they probably didn't like Maple's preserved body, here are more pictures of her alive.

Maple 'baby girl'

07/26/2011 - 07/04/2026

She was my soul cat. Lover was born with spinal and rib cage deformities when I was 17. I had to help her strengthen her back legs to support the weight. She walked kind of wobbly because of the bone deformities. I had to litter train her. I moved out of my father and stepmother’s house because at 8 months old, my step-witch wanted to euthanize her.

Lover lived to be 15 years old. I miss her. This week, I had a dream we were snuggled up and she was giving me kitty kisses on my arm. I miss her so much, even after years have passed and so many more cats have came in to my home.

I keep hoping she'll just wake up but I know that's not happening. She's my sweet angel baby and she's gone. In just a couple hours they'll be here to get her and when she comes back, in her place will be a jar of ash. I got her right after I lost my sister and it felt like I'd always have her. My poor sweet Precious is gone from this world and I don't know what to do.

Jinx went from /r/notmycat to /r/nowmycat to becoming the center of my life.

I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone or anything ever.

She came to me from an abusive household at the age of 6 and I made sure to give her as good of a life as I could. Unfortunately, shortly after she came into my life, she was diagnosed with CKD.

After a month and a half of daily saline drips, and seeing the pain and torture that the constant drips and blood tests were on her, we took the call to stop that treatment. We decided we will manage her health through diet (renal food, constant and proper hydration, etc.)

I do not regret this choice as often cats who are treated with drips form abscesses which eventually cause an untimely death. And the saline drip treatment isn't even used in humans because it does very little. Thankfully for us, Jinx was always a hydro homie who loved gulping down water by the buckets, both literally and figuratively as her favorite drinking spot was the bucket.

Till her last day, she was in peace. She stopped eating a week or so ago. We tried everything but a final visit to the vet told us that she is terminal and no longer looking to continue living. We fed her water with a dropper, made sure she was comfortable and let her live her last moments in peace. She died in her sleep last night.

We performed Hindu final rites for her and now she has joined all other lovely cats in kitty heaven. May my daughter finally find the peace she searched for all her life.

I had to say goodnight to my beloved yesterday. I got her when I was 12 years old and I’m 33 now. She was my best friend for 21 and a half years. I can’t stop thinking about her. I miss you, Eckers.

My sweet beautiful girl. She watched me graduate. Watched me fall in and out of love. She was always there at the door when i got home from school, then from work, just begging to be fed, held, kissed on her little head. She was my mama kitty. My little bulldog. She eventually stopped being able to hear me coming home. Then she stopped being able to eat or drink. She was so skinny. Today her little body couldn’t take any more. She collapsed and my mom took her to the vet, i left work early to meet her there. They gave her valium because she was seizing so bad. Her kidneys were completely gone. she was so comfortable in my arms for the ten minutes I held her so close to me. Then she just stopped breathing, and she was gone. I’m gonna miss you mama.

I came home from running errands this morning and found Elvira had suddenly passed away. I am happy she was home and it appears she didn’t suffer. I am pretty shaken up about it since I was the one who found her. She was 13-14 years old, no recent medical issues we knew about. Cuddle your torties close tonight for us.

I just needed to kind of vent or something. My head is just pounding, I don't even know right now. I adopted my baby just in time for christmas Dec 18 2024. My baby has since been fighting Mammary Carcinoma. Sunday at 5 am I woke up and found my girl had bled all over our house so my husband rushed her to the animal hospital which is also where her Oncologist is. Her tumors have opened and are infected, She has a Grade A 2-3/6 Heart Murmur. Due to my disability I couldnt go so I can only listen to my husband and the vet over the phone. We were informed her quality of life is now severely downgraded and no more than 3 days she needs to be humanely put to sleep and I have to let her go 💔 I cant bear this heartache and pain. I never went through this in my life. I have less than 24 hours now before I lose her. Ashamed to say that for the past few days Ive cried like a baby, I cant eat, I cant sleep. My heart physically hurts. 😭💔

This was last year and it’s how I’d like to remember her- bright eyed and fluffy and well. She took a major turn this week and went from being frail but still eating, drinking, navigating the house… to not being able to walk or eat. I had a vet come to the house to put her to sleep and she passed away in her favorite place- in my lap on the couch.

I hope it’s OK to share a little bit about her. In 2012 I went to the animal shelter intending to adopt a black cat but that “soul cat” thing happened where she and I looked at each other in a room full of cats and I just knew she was the one. She was 4 years old and she came home with me the next day. She’s been there with me through everything. My kids coming home from the hospital as babies, my kids first days of school, my first day of my job of 12 years, my marriage, my divorce, break ups, vacations, happy moments and horrible moments. She’s been there.

She’s slept with me almost every night for the past 14 years and I don’t want to go to sleep without her tonight. I laid down on her cat bed earlier and cried. I don’t know what her first 4 years were like but I know she was beyond loved for the last 14 with me. I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life.

My sweet tortie, Lani, was the light of my life for 17½ years.
In the hours after celebrating on Christmas Eve, her health - that had been not the best for a few weeks - deteriorated rapidly, so I took her to the vet early on the 25th.
Unfortunately, all he could do was to help her cross the Rainbow Bridge.

Now, I am heartbroken. A vital part of me is gone.
I have another tortie girl, Kitty, whom I love dearly, but Lani was my soulmate and my shadow, while Kitty is more independent, less of a cuddle bug.

I can't stop crying. Life without her doesn't seem possible. I don't know how to go on. 💔

Around noon, we kissed our sweet baby girl goodbye, for the last time.

In 2019, Malmal showed up at the back porch, on a cold and dark winter morning. A gorgeous young, ear-tipped, feral/stray tortie, looking for food.

She immediately made our backyard her home and started sleeping under the deck. Her 2 meals a day were always on time. She had a love for rotisserie chicken. Two yrs later, we coaxed her inside and then shut the door. She settled into her bed and used her litter box within the 1st hour.

That night was the start of the most beautiful time in our home. That wonderful time with the most extraordinary cat ended today.

She was a lap cat who’d sit all the up near your chest, with her head directly under your chin. If you were seated, you were her seat! She was a love bug and the greeter of all guests.

An ear infection that started a few months ago, led to the discovery of a small mass in her left ear canal. Within weeks, it was huge and she started wasting away. Very aggressive B cell lymphoma. Despite starting chemo, she progressively got worse over the past week. Our happy, dancing, purring cat had become a shell of herself.

Here’s a post I made about her a while ago - back when she was happy and healthy. https://www.reddit.com/r/torties/s/oFGwhqdgLd

Thank you for reading this little tribute to our beloved. Our home will never be the same again.

Today marks one month since I had to say goodbye to my sweet Fig Newton. She was the sweetest kitty, always energetic and curious about the world around her. She loved meeting new people and would even purr when we went to the vet. She would have turned 3 on May 4th if it wasn’t for FIV. We didn’t even get two full years together. My world feels a lot more quiet without my chatty little buddy in it, especially the mornings when she’s not here to sit in her sink and meow at me in the shower. I hope heaven is showering her with Bonkers cat treats (her fav) and all the spring toys she could possibly want. I can’t wait to someday see her again ❤️🌈🪽

I can't believe I'm writing this. I see other posts about people's pets passing and I feel so sympathetic towards them, and I would sometimes think about when it was my turn what would I say? And that's as far as I would get thinking about it because it was too painful and just didn't seem like it would happen anytime soon. Marley was my best friend. She gave me the purest love and friendship. I felt so comfortable around her and told her everything. She was always there when I needed someone. We had such a strong connection. I knew when she wasn't feeling good and vice versa. In 2022 Marley was diagnosed with diabetes and together we beat it. She also had all of her teeth removed in 2022 due to gum disease from the diabetes and she handled that like a champ. I always called her a tank. I adopted Marley in 2012 when I was in culinary school. She had been at the shelter the longest, as soon as I looked at her I knew she was my girl. She would lay on my chest and purr so loud, she would always follow me into the bathroom or if I was having a bath/shower she would be in there waiting for me. She always slept with me. She always licked my hands. She loved belly rubs. And just the way she looked at me was like she was saying "Don't worry, I'm here and I understand."

Marley passed on March 25th, 2025 at home. I'm very grateful to have been there, I wasn't there for my past kitties passing so I keep telling myself to be grateful. The pain I feel is so deep. I feel it in my soul. I feel so agitated and angry sometimes that I want to scream and punch a wall. I have dealt with depression before but this is so different. I don't care about anything. Food isn't exciting anymore. The shows I watch are so boring. I try to read but it's just so hard to focus. I haven't done my laundry in over 2 weeks. Everything I did at home was with Marley. She was just always there. And I know her spirit is always with me but I haven't felt anything. I haven't had any dreams with her in them. I feel so lost. I don't know if that makes sense but I just feel empty and it's so painful. I miss my girl so much and I just needed to vent. She was so beautiful. I love you Marley.