I am 21F dealing with Lung Tuberculosis.

I am a bsc nursing student.So my parents forced me to attend college due to attendance.I went 3 weeks despite feeling sick but then I couldn't push myself anymore and informed my college. My mom is a nurse so my teachers bashed her for sending me to college.

So after this incident, my family treats me really badly.They always throw around words that make me sad.I usually stay quiet-I end up crying in secret.This is going for a month.I am usually good at hiding emotions but don't know if I can keep it inside me anymore.Feel like bursting any moment.

Today I finished 2 months of treatment now in the continuation phase.So doctor gave me fit for attending college yesterday.I couldn't say much there as the dr is from my mom's hospital.

I am physically better but idk how to deal with the hectic schedule.

I have to do assignments and exams coming up + idk if my classmates will hate me or not for hiding this.If they bully me because of my underweight.(I have been bullied in the past so have trauma).The teachers will do a test for everyone so scared about the result.

My college starts today but I will join from Tomorrow.

Initially I wanted to take a break but I realised if I stayed at home my family would make my life horrible.

I want to rent there as it takes 1.5 hrs from home so it's exhausting and I can't take the toxic family life anymore.

How to deal with this issue along with the college?

No idea how I will continue further.

Would my family treat me better if I was half dead?

Idk why I was born ?

Never felt happy.My life keeps on getting worse.

I really want to be at peace away from all these things.

Please help me with any solution