Heyy everyone! so this girl is my junior in medical college and she's my roommate, and I got to know that she's is cheating on three guys simultaneously, and I don’t feel right about it.even though Last Sunday, one of her boyfriend grew doubt on her so he messaged me then on Instagram—as he knows I’m her roommate so he asked me respectfully if I knew anything, but I denied it, claiming that I don't know anything because I prefer not to interfere in other people’s personal affairs. But I think whatever she is doing is not good.So i am confused should I tell him the truth or not?

Honestly, there is one more reason I’m hesitant is that if he finds out everything, he might come to our hostel and going to create a scene, which will further damage her reputation. She already have a poor reputation in college and hostel both, because she was caught smoking and drinking with her friends about 7–8 months ago .

I don't know where to begin. I feel disgusted. Im 28 F , unemployed currently. I was in a relationship with 34M about 11 months. We both are from same town. I saw him first in 2024 at my gym. I had a huge crush on him. I never tried to talk to him. A yr gone. Then in 2025 march we started talking. After a month he asked my number and started calling. I fell in love with him and a month later confessed my crush. He said he wasn't interested. I was sad but what can I do. We kept in touch . After some time, around June 2025 he told me he has feelings for me and wants to date . I immediately said yes. Until this point he was this sweet caring nice guy. After starting our relationship he became someone else. We got physical in a month to the relationship. He was my first and honestly I wanted to wait but somehow he talked me into it. Im not saying I wasn't interested. I just needed some more time. That's all. First three months was good, then the nightmare started. I was crying my self to sleep almost everyday. Always fighting with me. Yelling. So much yelling. Next 3 months we kept fighting everyday. By January 2026 I told him I can't keep doing this. We need to talk. Then we talked and he said he will change. January was the last month I ever felt like we were in a relationship. Last time he said I love you, or showed some sort of emotion or liking towards me. After that very less calls, almost no messages, no updates, ignoring my all efforts to communicate.Feb, march, april, may - it felt like I was just a friend. In past these 4 months I have asked him to work on our relationship, to communicate with me. But no. In may 2026, we got into a big fight about a girl. She was working with him and they went out to eat together. I asked oh when. That's all I asked. He went crazy. Then hang up. I was confused sad. All I did was just cry. Few days later I told him we are done. But he said he wants to talk and potentially work thgs out. Then ghosted me for a week. Then came crawling back to me. I really liked him. Also I was physical with him . We stayed together from 2 different weekends at a frnds place. He was my first and i felt I need to do everything I can to make it work. I tried to talk a lot. In June I was visiting my close friend . I told her about everything. As I was telling her i understood im behaving like an idiot . Finally on june 26th I officially brokeup with him. Blocked him on WhatsApp and his number. I was doing a bit better. He owes me 30k. The only time I contacted him was about the money.

Then on oct 6th I saw his new post on instagram. And there is a comment by a girl. A heart. Then i started going through his posts, this girl has been commenting hearts under his post since September. Then went on his fb, she girl have been reacting to his post with emoji hugging a heart since April. I was heart broken. I cried for 2 days straight. Anxiety attacks , panic attacks. I was a mess. After this a frnd of his called me. We are quite close, even though we met through my ex bf. From her I found out many lies he told me.

About my ex bf. He had 3 long term relationships before me. When he was 17, first relationship with a 16 yr old . That lasted 5 yrs . Then second at 22 with a 20 yr old. That lasted 7 yrs . At 30 with a 27 yr old for 2 yrs. He had around 2 dating , situationship type things. Both girls were around 20, 22. And he was 32.

I didn't knew about all these. I learnt these during the relationship. I asked him why didn't you tell me these beforehand. He doesn't have a proper answer. The only reason I stayed even this long was bcoz he was my first.

Anyway through this frnd of his i learnt a lot of his lies. More and more I speak with her we both realise how horrible he is. For eg I got to know that my ex bf was frnds with benefits with his third ex while he was dating a 20 yr old. I think he was still sleeping with his third ex and dating this 20 yr old when he started talking to him. I feel so stupid for being with him. As I'm typing this out i realise how stupid i am. I tried to talk to an old frnd venting to her and i could feel that she doesn't believe me. She only asked me one thing why would you date someone who had 3 long term relationship i just stayed silent. I feel disgusting. Idk what to do with all this hate and pain i have in my heart. I hate myself. I went to a top tier engg clg. Graduated with good marks. I was preparing for upsc for 3 yrs. I know I'm smart. But how can I believe everything he said. Everything was a lie. My career is also not good. I graduated in 2021. The only job I had was at an IT startup as operations associate. I quit that this yr to find a job in embedded field. I feel like I ruined my mental health and essentially life in last 2 yrs.

I had a relationship before this in clg which ended in me getting chested on. So i have trust issues. And now this. How can I ever trust a human being again.

Sorry about my English. Im typing this out in the middle of an anxiety attack.

I feel so freaking disgusting. How can I be this navie. I ruined my career by choosing to prepare for upsc. Now this relationship. I don't know how to stop crying .

​

I'm married, and lately, I've been getting increasingly frustrated with my wife's approach to life. I need some outside perspective because my close friends aren't married, and we don't really discuss these things.

The issue isn't that she's imperfect. I'm imperfect too. It's that whenever there's an area where she could take responsibility or improve something, there's somehow an explanation for why it's not really her fault.

At this point, I'm starting to feel less like a husband and more like a combination of a parent, career counsellor, personal trainer, and life manager.

Let me give you some examples.

1. The dentist incident — personal accountability has left the chat.

My wife visited a dentist after a LONG time. One reason she'd avoided going was that her parents had instilled the belief that dentists often loot people by recommending unnecessary treatments.

So, naturally, she kept putting it off.

Eventually, she went, and the dentist scolded her about her dental hygiene.

Now, you'd think the response would be something like, "Okay, I should have taken better care of my teeth. Let me fix my habits."

Nope.

Her response was essentially that she was like this because of her parents and their beliefs.

And then came the plot twist: she asked me why I hadn't told her to take proper care of her teeth, especially since I brush twice a day.

Apparently, brushing my own teeth twice a day also makes me the designated supervisor of hers.

So, to summarise:

Parents created the dentist conspiracy theory.

She avoided the dentist.

The dentist scolded her.

Her parents were responsible for her beliefs.

And somehow, I was responsible for not reminding her.

At this point, I'm wondering whether I should start maintaining a daily checklist for another adult.

2. Fitness — my close friends back in hometown do not discuss ( gym , protein, exercise and stuff)

She's gained quite a bit of weight and doesn't seem to take much initiative toward improving her fitness.

I'm not expecting her to look like a fitness influencer or spend three hours in the gym. But I'd like to see some basic ownership of her health.

What frustrates me is the lack of initiative. I don't want to be the person who has to suggest exercise, explain why it matters, motivate her, and then follow up to see whether she's done anything.

I want someone who can look at her own life and say, "Maybe I should work on this."

Is that unreasonable?

3. Career growth — four years, same company, and very little initiative.

She's from a tier-1 college and has been at the same company for four years without a promotion.

Now, I understand that promotions aren't guaranteed, and not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder. I'm not saying everyone needs to be ambitious in the same way.

But what bothers me is that she hasn't really stayed connected with college friends who've switched companies and progressed in their careers.

She was also afraid of DSA interviews and spent time worrying about them, only to realise much later that DSA wasn't as important for the particular Salesforce domain she works in as she'd assumed.

It feels like she can spend a lot of time being afraid of something without first figuring out whether that fear is even relevant.

I'd rather see someone research the requirements, understand the options, make a plan, and take action.

Instead, I sometimes feel like I'm watching someone remain stuck because she hasn't taken the time to understand how to move forward.

4. Our bedroom life — again none of her friend is married and we do not discuss such stuff

This is another area where I feel the lack of initiative.

There's very little spontaneity or excitement coming from her side. I often feel that I'm expected to bring the ideas, initiate things, and keep our intimate life interesting.

I don't expect her to read my mind, and I understand that people's libidos and comfort levels differ.

But I do want to feel desired. I'd like her to initiate sometimes, express what she enjoys, bring her own ideas, and participate actively in building our intimate life.

I don't want intimacy to feel like another responsibility that I'm solely in charge of managing.

She's has a one good excuse here ,she expected me to give her princess treatment which I kind of failed too , so let this slide just like she doesn't bug me about princess treatment.

5. The bigger problem — everything seems to have an explanation, but nothing changes.

If I look at these situations individually, perhaps they don't seem like a big deal.

But when I see the same pattern across health, career, personal habits, and intimacy, I start wondering whether this is simply how she approaches life.

I've read quite a few self-help and personal development books. I try to learn from my mistakes, improve myself, and take responsibility for my decisions.

I'm not claiming to be perfect or that my way of living is the only correct one.

But I do believe adults should be capable of recognising their own shortcomings and doing something about them.

What frustrates me is that I don't want to keep pointing things out, explaining basic concepts, suggesting solutions, and motivating another adult to take action.

I want a partner, not someone whose life I have to project-manage.

And I'm beginning to worry about what this dynamic will look like ten or twenty years from now.

Will I eventually become resentful? Will I lose respect for her? Am I already being too critical?

I also recognise that the more frustrated I become, the more likely I am to notice every little thing she does wrong. So perhaps I'm contributing to the problem too.

I'd genuinely appreciate some honest advice:

Am I expecting too much from my wife, or are accountability and initiative reasonable expectations in a marriage?

How do you distinguish between accepting someone's imperfections and enabling a pattern of avoiding responsibility?

Can a person develop accountability if they've grown up in an environment where their parents made excuses for them or encouraged dependency?

How do you stop becoming your spouse's parent or life coach without becoming emotionally detached?

For those who've experienced something similar, did this dynamic eventually improve, or did it damage your respect and attraction toward your spouse?

Most importantly, how do you deal with this without spending the rest of your marriage trying to change someone who might not want to change?

I'm not posting this to have strangers declare my wife a bad person. I want to understand whether I'm approaching marriage with unrealistic expectations or whether there's a genuine mismatch in our attitudes toward personal responsibility.

How do you accept a partner for who they are without slowly becoming frustrated with who they aren't?

I'm a 30F married since two years no kids..my husband micro cheated once or idk was it micro or not but I caught him over texts..we fought but eventually i decided to forget and move on..we are on decent terms now..things haven't be the same since then since i decided to kinda detach myself ( although we do live like a normal couple)

Lately I've been thinking of random men i meet or see online and i fantasise about them which is kind weird and i wouldn't be doing that. I don't understand is it because of whatever happened or do all women go through this phase after certain age...i would see a random 45 year dude with salt and pepper hair running on tracks in morning and I would think about him ...i would see a six pack guy in gym and think about him..i would see a comedian who doesn't look conventionally attractive and I think about him..is it called midlife crisis fellas😂 or its just me trying to fight my insecurities after being cheated because I never felt that way before..i liked men but only to date them or marry..never fantasizing about getting intimate

I don't think women's desire and talked about enough in this country..only men men and men..i used to think only men can be lustful for beautiful women even after getting married but no women specially women in their 30s have their desires too..even if they're married or have kids..they feel attracted to men too on the basis of looks or whatever their preference is..it's another thing that many women have enough self control and they don't break their marriage over stupid things..

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, and honestly, everything has been great. Our parents know each other, we vibe really well, and things are getting serious.
Here’s the problem.
She had a breakup around 3 years ago, and when she was single, she hooked up with a guy 2-3 times. This guy and I have a really bad history. We live in the same society and don’t even acknowledge each other.
When we first started dating, she mentioned knowing him but said they only exchanged memes and reels on Instagram.
Yesterday, before taking a big step in our relationship, I wanted to be sure there was nothing between them. I asked her directly if anything physical had happened. She looked me in the eyes, hugged me, and confidently said absolutely nothing had happened.
I was honestly relieved.
But today, she called me and admitted she’d lied. They had hooked up 2-3 times. She says she didn’t know about my history with him and was scared I’d get angry and leave her, so she decided to tell me over the phone instead.
Now I’m confused.
I’m not someone who has a problem with my girlfriend having a past. She was single, and that’s her life. But the fact that it was THIS particular guy is a dealbreaker for me. On top of that, she looked me in the eyes and lied when I specifically asked her about it.
Apart from this, our relationship has been amazing. She’s crying and saying she doesn’t want to lose me, and part of me wants to give this relationship another chance. But I’m worried I’ll never be able to get this out of my head.
What would you do in my situation? Would you try to move past this or end the relationship?

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months, and everything has been great. Before we got together, she hooked up 2-3 times with a guy I absolutely hate because of our own history. When I asked her about it directly, she repeatedly assured me nothing physical had happened, only to confess the next day that she had lied because she was scared I’d leave her. I’m not bothered by her having a past in general, but the fact that it was this particular guy is a huge issue for me. Now I’m torn between trying to move past it and ending an otherwise great relationship. What would you do?

Note - Used AI for sentence framing.

Edit : M(21) and F(24)

I've been dating my girlfriend for around 6 months, and I'm struggling with something that has been bothering me for a while. I genuinely need outside perspectives because I'm confused about whether my feelings are reasonable or whether I'm looking at this the wrong way.

My girlfriend has mostly male friends. She's been friends with boys for most of her life and has always been a tomboy. She's also extremely talkative, outgoing, and comfortable around people. This isn't something new that started after we got together; it's how she's always been. She jokes around with everyone and is generally very comfortable with her male friends.

I have no problem with her having male friends. I don't want to control who she talks to, who she's friends with, or make her change her entire personality just because we're dating. I understand that she had a life before me, and I don't expect her to stop being herself because she has a boyfriend.

The issue is the sexual jokes and innuendos she makes with other guys.

She's made dirty jokes with her male friends and colleagues before, sometimes even when I'm physically present. I've told her that I don't really like it and that it makes me uncomfortable. For me, there's a difference between being friendly and joking around with friends versus making sexual jokes with other men while you're in a committed relationship.

I've brought this up before, but I've also let it go because I know this is part of her personality and the way she's interacted with people her entire life. I didn't want to keep arguing about it or come across as someone who's insecure about every guy she talks to.

However, something happened recently that's brought all those feelings back.

I was on leave from work that day. My girlfriend and I work in the same workplace, and one of my colleagues, whom she's also best friends with, was buying fruit salad. Another colleague jokingly told him to buy a banana as well. My girlfriend responded with something along the lines of, "He already has one."

It was clearly meant as a sexual innuendo, and apparently everyone laughed about it. I wasn't there when it happened. I heard about it afterward from someone else who was talking about the incident.

Now, I understand that this might sound like a pretty minor thing to some people. It was a joke, and I'm aware that people make dirty jokes without necessarily having any feelings for the person they're joking with.

But what bothers me is the context. This isn't an isolated incident that I've never seen before. It's part of a pattern that I've already expressed discomfort about.

I keep thinking about the fact that she made this joke with a male colleague who she's very close to, and other people were laughing about it. I don't know whether I'm making this bigger than it is, but I can't seem to shake the feeling.

The thing is, I don't necessarily suspect that she's cheating on me. I don't have evidence of that, and I don't want to accuse her of something just because she makes dirty jokes.

What I'm struggling with is that this behaviour is starting to affect how I perceive her character and how much respect I feel toward her.

I know that sounds harsh, and I'm trying to understand why I feel this way. In my mind, sexual humour is something that feels intimate, and I personally wouldn't make these kinds of jokes with other women while I'm in a relationship. Because I hold myself to that standard, I find myself expecting something similar from my partner.

At the same time, I realise that she might not attach the same meaning to these jokes that I do. To her, it might genuinely be nothing more than casual banter with friends. Just because I wouldn't behave a certain way doesn't automatically mean she's wrong for behaving differently.

Another thing that makes this difficult is that when I've raised my discomfort before, she has sometimes become defensive or hidden certain interactions from me. I don't know whether she does this because she thinks I'm overreacting or because she doesn't want another argument. I'm not claiming that she's hiding something romantic or cheating, but the defensiveness makes it harder for me to feel comfortable discussing the issue openly.

I also don't want to become the boyfriend who constantly monitors his girlfriend, questions every interaction she has with a man, or expects her to report every conversation. That's not the kind of relationship I want.

At the same time, I don't want to keep suppressing my feelings, pretending I'm okay with something I'm not, and gradually building resentment toward her.

Right now, I'm honestly quite disturbed by the situation. I'm finding it difficult to talk to her normally over text, and I'd rather have a proper face-to-face conversation with her once I've calmed down. I don't want to start an argument while I'm emotional or make a decision based on something I heard from someone else.

I want to explain how I feel, listen to her perspective, and understand whether we can agree on boundaries that work for both of us.

But I keep coming back to a few questions:

- Am I being insecure by expecting my girlfriend to avoid sexual jokes with other men, even if she sees them as harmless?

- Is it reasonable to consider this a relationship boundary, or am I trying to control a part of her personality?

- If I've already told her that this behaviour makes me uncomfortable and she continues doing it, does that mean she's disregarding my feelings, or does it simply mean she doesn't agree with my expectations?

- How should I approach the fact that she gets defensive or hides interactions when I raise this issue?

- Is this something couples can realistically compromise on, or could it be a fundamental incompatibility in our values?

- Most importantly, how do I distinguish between a legitimate loss of respect because of incompatible expectations and an unfair judgment of someone whose personality is different from mine?

I care about her, and I don't want to throw away a relationship over something that might be harmless. But I also don't want to convince myself that I'm okay with something when I'm clearly not.

I'm not looking for comments telling me that all women with male friends are unfaithful, or that I'm automatically controlling for feeling uncomfortable. I want honest perspectives, including criticism if I'm approaching this the wrong way.

TL;DR: I've been dating my girlfriend for six months. She's outgoing, has mostly male friends, and has always been comfortable making dirty jokes. I've told her that sexual banter with other men makes me uncomfortable, but I've let it go because it's part of her personality. Recently, I heard that she made a sexual innuendo to a male colleague while I was absent. I don't necessarily suspect cheating, but this behaviour is affecting how I see her and making me question whether our expectations of a relationship are compatible. She can get defensive or hide interactions when I bring up my concerns. Am I insecure, are my expectations reasonable, or are we simply incompatible?

so me and my boyfriend (who is white and from a christian household) have been dating since I was in high school and now we’re doing long distance while i’m in college(out of state) and my boyfriend is still in high school finishing up his final year. i have a very irrational phobia of being pregnant so i have taken a BUNCH of tests (all negative because i only have protected sex) and I thought i cleaned my room out thoroughly and threw them all away but long story short, my mom ended up finding one after i moved to my dorm in college.

she interrogated me about it and i tried to lie to her but i ended up telling her it was mine and she started calling me a whore, prostitute, etc. at this point i don’t know if i can even see my boyfriend when i get home and every time i bring it up she tells me that im just trying to come home to see my boyfriend and that i don’t care about her, blah blah. for context, my mom is EXTREMELY abusive(i know this is very common in brown households) and once i was in college i barely called her etc, because she just gave me too much anxiety and stress because all she does is manipulate me and make me feel awful. i do maintain my relationship with my younger brother and dad though but it’s hard to with my mom because of how horrible she is.

additionally she threatened she would tell my dad about the test and i don’t know how he will react but im praying that he will be calm about it, the only issue is that they will probably be very against me ever seeing my boyfriend.

on top of this, they are paying for my tuition and hold it over my head all the time (even though they are really wealthy) so i always end up doing whatever they want me to do. i plan on getting a job soon to have some finances saved up that my parents don’t know about just in case if they decide to stop supporting me financially.

my mom and i ended up arguing today and i told her my sexual life is none of her business, probably alluding to me having sex, but i was denying it. she was NOT having it and ended up screaming at me over the phone

i don’t know what to do. should i fully come clean and confirm her suspicion or just leave it and wait? i really want this relationship to work out but it’s hard to if my parents don’t support me seeing my boyfriend.

TL;DR: my indian parents are convinced i had sex(I did- protected) with my white boyfriend and they are really upset and i might not be able to see him again. what do i do?

I'm 19, in my second year of B.Tech, and I've never had a female friend or girlfriend.

Recently, I heard that a girl in third-year CSE asked someone if I was single. That guy asked my friend about me, but I don't know him personally. I don't even know the girl's name for sure, haven't seen her face, and don't know her Instagram.

My friends are encouraging me to meet her at the college café, and honestly, I'm excited that someone might be interested in me.

But I'm also overthinking it a lot. I keep worrying that if I don't act quickly, I'll miss my chance. At the same time, I'm trying to focus on my career, skills, fitness, and self-improvement, and I don't want this to become a distraction.

Should I ask my friends to introduce us, approach her myself, or wait for her to approach me? How do people normally get to know someone in college?

Am I overthinking this whole thing? Would appreciate some genuine advice, especially from people who've been in a similar situation.

Lots of rule 10 violations in past month.
Can't even point people to read it as mods have mis-spelled companionships ("championships")

oh my heart man. how much i miss romance in my life. how much i miss listening to romantic songs, imagining a life with him and smiling akele mein.

how much i miss having someone to call to, someone to talk and listen to, being excited to share things with him.

how much i miss getting ready for someone. getting jewelery with their initials on them and wearing them so with love.

how much i miss travelling with someone, giggling and kissing them all through out it.

how much i miss having someone to come home to after a tired as fuck day and still having the biggest smile on my face because the man i loved then was so pretty. the prettiest.

i miss holding someone, caressing their skin, having them embedded in mine, being proud of the beautiful hickeys ive given them etc etc.

how much i miss having someone to take care of me, asking me not to die, asking me to study and eat, remembering what i said, praising my beauty, telling me im a strong woman. i miss all of love so much.

how much i miss having someone. i miss the love part of life. i miss being loved and having someone to love to. i miss.

I apologise in advance for the length of this post and the less than satisfactory formatting. I typed it out while recollecting everything so the way ive written it down is a bit hazy.

This is something that has been on my mind for a while. Now, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 months, and have been seeing each other for almost 6 months. From the start we decided on a 50/50 bill split because we are 19 and 18 and we both are students. But I would still pay 9/10 times, sometimes not eating anything myself so that I can pay for her. And the few times i didnt pay the entire bill, I'll split the bill, not make her pay it all.

The issue came up when we went for a movie on 6th june. I paid for the tickets, which came up to 350 rupees per person, and I also payed for the travelling. But when we went for lunch, the total came up to 500 per person, but i only had 400 on me, so I asked her to pay my share aswell, and that i'll send her my share when I get money. After that we went for some dessert, for which i paid aswell, which came up to 160 rupees per person. If we are being technical about the 50/50 split, then my share was paid on that day itself, but whatever.

After this day, we went out quite a few times, and I paid for her most of the times aswell again. Even when i'd visit her house i'd be the one ordering food and paying for it. Barely has been a time when we've split it.

I dont like to bring this up because I did it out of my own goodwill, but i order food for her whenever she is hungry or is upset or anything.

Worth noting is also that she had once expressed that she wanted to share her netflix account with me, that she always wanted to share her netflix account with her boyfriend. I agreed, and I offered to pay half of the monthly subscription too. But the thing is, I dont use netflix at all, I probably wouldve watched two spiderman movies on it, thats all, and she knows that. But I still pay her my share every month, and I hadnt paid it in September, but she still asked me to pay for september and october, despite knowing that I dont use it and all.

Now coming back, sometime at the end of June she brings up the 500 rupees share for the lunch we had on the movie date. At that time I didnt have any money so I told her that I cannot give it to her then. But since then ive paid for several dates, even the recent ones, 660 for a Tibetan place in the end of september, 850 for a pizza place in the start of october etc.

Now for context, I purchased a tshirt from a friend of mine who makes her own designs and stuff. I got that tshirt for ₹600, and I of course told my girlfriend about it.

Now on october 10-12, she just texts me saying that she is a little bothered that I got a t shirt from my friend for ₹600, but still haven't given her the ₹500.

She also asked ₹200 for the netflix (which i had explained earlier) right before saying that.

I told her then that i imagined it probably wouldve been settled after all the times I've paid, to which she replied that i shouldve said so earlier then.

I then asked her if she needed money or something, and if thats the case then ill send it to her, and she said yes.

But kind of the last straw was on my birthday. She had asked me what i wanted for my birthday, and I had said that I want nothing its okay, and jokingly said that if she wants to give anything then she should send over a pack of chicken nuggets on my birthday.

I did say that but I expected atleast something on my birthday. She sent me a birthday wish and text at 12am, which i read at 1 am because i was out with friends and I thanked her then, to which she replied kind of passive aggressively? Saying "that wouldve been helpful information b4 i sent my birthday text" ???? But then yeah, there was no cake or pastry from her, not even the chicken nuggets i asked as a joke.

But we met in person yesterday, 8 days after my birthday, and also the first time after my birthday, and we went to a dive bar. Now the day before that, she had informed that she was a little low on cash, but she will atleast pay for her food or her drinks, to which i said that lets see when we go there the next day.

But on the next day when I met her, we first went to this one milkshake place where she wanted me to try the milkshake. Of course I paid 200 there. After which we went to the dive bar, and we had food and drinks, and the bill comes around and she doesnt even offer to pay. I paid 1.9k there aswell.

What felt the worst was that she didnt even bring a birthday letter for me. I didnt expect a gift but atleast a birthday letter? Not that too. Thats kind of everything that happened.

Thank you for reading.

Context: I (M26) got into a relationship with my schoolmate (F26) in June after a rather chequered relation we have had over last 5 years. We have known each other since school days and I have had a crush on her since Class 9 but owing to my sheer focus on career, I kept distance till my placement. I connected with her in my final year of college on her birthday, which is 2 days prior to mine. We have had good conversation, meetings before I moved to Bangalore in 2022 and things took strange turn and we ended everything in Sept 2023. During 2023-26, we seldom shared conversations, barring birthdays or any occasions. We connected this May, thanks to her efforts and things got running ever since.

I consider myself a fitness fanatic and I do value taking care of my diet, health and fitness in general. I have been vocal to her about this that she doesn't need to go to gym, neither do running nor play any sport. But she should take care of her health, no matter her disinterest in such aspect. I have been asking her to do basic walk/jog/yoga/resistance training at home not to look aesthetic or something, rather to be healthy. But she has been deferring for the last 4 months citing circumstances, work load, household chores among other things. Mind you all of this excluding a 7-day periods break every month that we agreed after she expressed her concerns during periods, which I think is fair atp, though I used to feel 7 days is a bit much.

Now I do get waves of such feeling where I get much more worried of her health, our future, my apprehensions of passing on to progeny (maybe a potential genetic predisposition). Also this thing creates unnecessary difference which I feel is unhealthy for our bond.

Lately I have been getting thoughts as if she's disrespecting me or devaluing whatever I am telling her. Then I do feel that I am imposing something in which she's not interested but again I feel that it's for her good only and much of a necessity than a desire or my whim.

What's your take on this? How to deal with this issue?

TIA!

TL; DR My partner is not taking care of her health even after me expressing my concern related to her health multiple times. This is creating fissures. What should I do?

I (26M) met my ex-girlfriend (28F) on Instagram. We started talking, became close, and eventually fell in love. She was incredibly beautiful to me 🌻 and when she proposed, I was genuinely happy to be with her 🥹

She was preparing for her CS exams and asked for some time to focus on her studies. I understood and respected her decision. She was older than me, and I genuinely believed she was mature and sensible.

Then she ghosted me for three months 🙃

And I waited🫠 When she finally returned, things had changed. Barely any conversations, no calls, hardly any meetings, and almost no emotional connection. But I was so in love that I kept making excuses for her and holding on.

Somehow, I dragged that relationship through almost two years. We met only 6 or 7 times a year, and I was practically the only one trying to keep things alive.

Eventually, we broke up because we had almost stopped communicating altogether.

But the real heartbreak came later 🙃

One day, I received a call from her boyfriend. Yes, her boyfriend. He told me everything, and eventually, she confessed that she had cheated on me.

During those three months when she had asked for space to prepare for her exams, she had started talking to another guy. For the next two years, she was dating both of us without either of us knowing about the other.

Looking back, there were so many red flags and suspicious things. But I ignored them because I loved her and wanted her in my life at any cost. Once I learned the truth, everything suddenly started making sense.

I cried that day.💔

I don't usually cry, but this broke me.

What hurts the most is that I respected her so much. I genuinely thought that, being older than me, she would be mature enough to understand honesty, commitment, and what it means to love someone.

I gave her my time, loyalty, and patience, waiting for things to get better, while she was living an entirely different reality behind my back.

I know I made mistakes by ignoring the red flags, but

I never imagined that someone I loved so sincerely could deceive me for two whole years.

This is just a very brief explanation of what happened. There's a lot more to this story, but I wanted to share the main events here.

How do you make peace with the fact that you were genuine with someone who was never honest with you? And how do you learn to trust your own judgment again after ignoring so many signs because you were in love?

She is constantly trying to reach out, saying we have the best chemistry and should give it a try once more. We have already broken up and patched up 6-8 times in a year. Now that I am seeing someone else, she is trying to get back together, but she is the one who said, "I don't see you romantically." Now she is saying she can't bear to see me with someone else.

Before, whenever we spent time together and had a fight, she used to compare me with her ex. She sent me a screenshot of the boys messaging her and lusting after her.

??

M 27 F 24
Hey everyone, I’m looking for genuine advice because I’m emotionally overwhelmed and don’t know what the right thing to do is.
I’m from South India, and my girlfriend is from North India. We’re both Hindu adults, and we’ve been in a long-distance relationship for over a year. Even though we’ve never met in person, we’ve video-called regularly, shared our daily lives, and built a strong emotional connection. We’ve also spoken seriously about our future together, including marriage.
I’m settled abroad, financially independent, and willing to take responsibility for building a stable future together. I genuinely want to care for her, support her, and build a happy life with her. I’m not expecting her to depend on me blindly; I want us to make decisions together as adults.
Unfortunately, her family strongly opposes our relationship because of caste, cultural differences, regional backgrounds, and food habits. They have very traditional views, and she has described her home environment as controlling.
Recently, a family member discovered our private conversations. Her family became extremely angry, took her phone away, and blocked me on every platform. Before I lost contact with her, she managed to message me saying she was very stressed because of the shouting at home. She also told me she loved me before putting her phone away.
Since then, I’ve had no contact with her. A family member has sent me threatening messages, warned me not to contact her, and made some disturbing claims about what is happening at home. I don’t know which claims are true, and I have no reliable way to check whether she’s okay.
I’m feeling helpless because I care about her deeply, but I don’t want to do anything that could put her at greater risk. I also don’t want to make assumptions about what she wants when I can’t speak to her privately.
I understand that a long-distance relationship without meeting in person comes with challenges. I’m willing to face those challenges responsibly, but I also understand that love alone isn’t enough—we need mutual trust, safety, and a practical plan for our future.
I’d genuinely appreciate advice on these questions:
How should I handle this situation when her family has blocked all communication?
Is it best to wait and give her space, or is there a safe and respectful way to check whether she’s okay?
How can two adult Hindus from different regions handle family opposition related to caste, culture, and food habits?
If we’re both serious about marriage and I’m financially settled abroad, how can we approach our future responsibly without putting her at risk?
How do I protect myself if her family continues sending threatening messages?
How can I cope with the anxiety and uncertainty of not knowing whether she’s safe or when I’ll hear from her again?
I’m not looking for ways to track her down, pressure her, or cause problems for her family. I genuinely want to handle this maturely and prioritize both our safety and our freedom to make our own decisions.
If anyone has experienced a similar situation involving family opposition to an interregional relationship, I’d appreciate hearing your experiences and honest advice.
Thank you for reading.

Hey ’26M’ in a relationship with my gf ’23F’, we have been together for almost 3yrs we have our ups and down like every relationship but from past few months i feel efforts affection love many more things are only one sided only from my side. Whenever i talk to her about these things about what i feel or which things i don’t like things turn into a argument where she stop talking to me not picking calls or texting even switch off her phone.

I’m more invested in this relationship than her she barely ask me about how was my day how m i how things are going in my life. We have been discuss about our future she always told me she is serious about us but i feel this is only her words i don’t feel or see it in her actions. Whenever i do something for her she always points out things like what are the problems or mistakes where i missed something rather than appreciating, for instance if i cook something for her she will point out what i missed or how its not good. I feel like everytime i talk to her about my feelings or what hurts me she thinks i’m arguing without any reasons or its just not important.

Efforts or love from her side not that much from
Every start of the relation. She once told me i’m not that guy which wants. Even in front of her friend she says because of my(me) efforts we are together. I also wanted to feel her where i feel desired more see her efforts for me more that affection that love

Yesterday when i asked her clearly about more efforts more investment in this relationship, priority
We discuss this thing for almost 1:30hr at the end she just told me ‘**do what you think is right or what you want to i(she) don’t know’** it just flipped my emotions fully

Why as a man it’s so hard to ask for love, for being loved by someone who we love so much and why people see this as a weakness.

I am 23F, he is 26 M
Few days back, I was going through my bf's phone for some work and got a notification from reddit. I opened it and it was pretty normal overall. Normal posts, comments, nothing much.
But I memorized his account id and later went through everything (it was not hidden).

I found out he commented on several NSFW posts. Very explicit comments. I was very upset seeing that. Initially I thought, is it normal? He is a guy and has needs, but he is in relationship with me.

After few days, I couldn't keep it in and finally told him about what I had found. He initially denied that it is not him but then he checked his account and saw that those comments are present there too he finally acknowledged. He said that someone might have used it when he was not around or it was hacked, but I don't believe it.

He was begging and swearing it was not him. He even pulled out the export of that account but it had several messages too. He said he has no idea about any of it and he showed his messages on his phones and there was no sign.

He said maybe someone logged in but it was not him and that the normal posts and comments were his rest none.

Later, we both decided to delete it. Not sure if it was the right move.

So everyone, what do you say?

As a F23 starting a new relationship with Type 1 diabetes, I wanted to know: Would T1D affect your decision to pursue a long-term relationship or marriage with someone if you like her otherwise? Would concerns about their long-term health or the possibility of your child developing T1D influence your decision? Currently in a relationship with a guy but we have never discussed this

I know everyone has different preferences, and I’m not generalising. I’d just like to understand your personal perspective as a guy.

Edit the guy is well aware about diabetes we just haven’t discussed how we feel about it in long term

I need some genuine advice because I honestly don't know what to do right now.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past 7 months. At the beginning of our relationship, she told me that she had a boyfriend before me and that they had broken up.

Recently, I casually checked her Instagram while we were spending time together, and I found out that before getting into a relationship with me, she had been talking to around 10 different guys on Instagram. The conversations weren't exactly normal or friendly. There was some soft flirting in almost every chat.

When I confronted her about it, she told me that she doesn't talk to any of those guys anymore. I believe her when she says that she isn't currently talking to them, although most of them are still unblocked.

She became very emotional while explaining everything to me. She kept trying to convince me that she never cheated on me, that she was never physically involved with any of those guys, and that all of this happened before we got into a relationship. She kept asking me not to leave her.

Honestly, I love her a lot. Leaving her isn't something I can easily imagine doing. But after seeing those conversations, something has changed inside me. I'm having doubts, and I feel irritated and uncomfortable whenever I think about it.

I understand that this all happened before our relationship, and technically, she didn't cheat on me. But I can't help wondering why she was talking to so many guys in that way.

I come from a village background, where these kinds of things aren't considered very normal. Maybe my upbringing and expectations are influencing how I feel about this. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if my feelings are justified.

I don't want to judge her solely based on her past. At the same time, I don't want to ignore my own feelings and pretend that everything is fine.

I genuinely love her, and I believe she loves me too. But I'm struggling to understand how to move forward from this.

Need some suggestions 😕

Hi I’m 21 and I’m in a relationship since a year, just like any other rs we had ups and downs but we also had major fights which were v toxic, beyond this, the communication is good we sort out and we get back to each other ..but the catch is he has a lot of dilemma w future of “us” i do too but I’m certain that i wanna build with him but recently I’m done, with that and i have started thinking only about me as I’ve realised I’m pretty young rn..and i myself don’t know how to and where i will be in future..same as him soo it’s pretty decent with that but it’s his behaviour at times

1. He only talks at a certain time for a really short period of time where we speak random and sometimes it leads to a fight, we just talks normally and that’s fine by me but when i call him randomly at times during the day or sometime else he doesn’t pick up but responds to texts (i get it he might be in office working but still)
2. He always brings in “other girls” how they are better and how they had and will do so much better than i do, get him gifts and all (I’m not even working so yes I’m not able to afford much!)
3. He has never paid for my travel when I go to meet him not even out of courtesy that ok imma book u a cab back home (and i did all this while staying in a different city which i had no idea about, on a mere internship stipend, where i had to ask for money from family) he knew this, so financially fucked up. And he used to tell me to come over every other day which is cool but yeah
4. During fights he used to literally just abuse me w slurs like v bad words to which i used to have a crazy reaction and then i used to cry and not eat. He ate in front of me and when I used to eat at his apartment he used to at times when the cook used to not cook more quantity told me “you’re eating someone else’s food” he had a flatmate, mind u he never gave me his share or something it was weird for me
5. He never even ordered food for me except once when I gave him a lecture.

Ok idc about tht but when i think about the time we spent in the city i think only about these bad moments where one time I bought biscuits and took one from his pack just for fun and he threw the pack in rage at me.

Online has been weird too he just talks weird and brings in my shared emotions about my things vulnerabilities in arguments about how he is so good and I’m struggling..we even say break up at times big never do cause we can’t leave each other maybe we attached ik something is wrong cause i can take everything my behaviour is also wrong at times but constantly telling me how he doesn’t want me rn but in the future when he wants to marry yes and telling me how other girls would treat him better when I’ve literally done sm and have never counted it until our arguments where he mentioned other girls so i keep thinking about it like oh red flags like I never asked u to pay for my travel or so until u bring other girls..and how your exes were so great

Best part is that he guides me cause he is older than me so career wise and all giving suggestions and saying he wants best for me after every argument..so idk

I’m unable to leave him even after so much and somehow just want him cause we talk every day some days it’s bad like we fight i cry cause he says why would I want a future w you and stuff he says pretty mean stuff.

I’m also a bit pushy and emotional with him at times like i like flowers and stuff the one time he did something nice was he even celebrated my birthday got me a plushie but that too after me telling him indirectly soo idk he does care for me i feel I’ve done worse things to pushed him and dig my nails in his arms when we faught cause he abused me verbally w bad words and i felt disrespected but he pushed me back too
And it was bad but since 4 months it’s LDR soo yeah the fights were bad 2 months back online too where i used to cry so hard my parents used to get worried

but I’m really understanding and don’t even disturb him at all.. and all i ever ask is he talk to me politely and sweetly and then he melts seeing me sad but yeah idk.. it’s like why take it to a point where we argue

So yeah can someone tell me what should i do or is something wrong w my behaviour ?

My sister is married, and for a while now small disagreements, especially with her husband, turn into long, heated fights. She knows it's a problem and has said so herself, but when family tries to help, she shuts down. I don't think she sees us as people who can help, and I get that.

I want to help her find a good therapist without it feeling like an ambush.

- If you've been in her place, what made you open to therapy?
- If you got a family member into therapy, how did you bring it up?
- Any recommendations for a good therapist in Mumbai (individual or couples) for anger and conflict?

I'm 32M, and I'm reconnecting with a woman I've been interested in. We met in person, got along well, and seemed to have a good time together. We live in different cities, so most of our interaction has been over text and calls.

After we first met, she suddenly became distant. Her replies got dry, and communication dropped off. Eventually, she told me she was confused about whether we were compatible and worried that my energy might be a bit much for her. She apologised for how she'd handled things, said she'd enjoyed spending time with me, and wanted to give it another shot. I agreed to take things slowly and explore the connection as friends first, although I was clear that the way she withdrew had affected my trust.

Since then, we've had some decent conversations and playful banter. She's initiated conversations, and recently, when I mentioned something stressful about work, she offered to call. We ended up talking for around 50 minutes.

The thing is, she spoke for most of the call and didn't really ask me any questions about what was going on in my life. I've noticed something similar over text: she'll respond and share things about herself, but doesn't always show much curiosity about me.

I know some people just communicate differently, and I don't expect every conversation to be perfectly balanced. But I tend to lose interest when I feel like the curiosity and effort aren't mutual. At the same time, I'm aware that my trust took a hit after she pulled away, so I might be paying more attention to these things than I otherwise would.

I can't tell whether this is just something that needs time or whether we're fundamentally incompatible in how we connect with people. I also don't want to get caught up analysing every message, but I don't want to ignore a pattern just because I like someone.

For context, she has said she wants to meet again when she's in my city, and we agreed to see how things go rather than rush into anything.

For people who've been in similar situations:

• Would you give this more time and see how things develop, or take the lack of curiosity as a sign of incompatibility?
• Have you dated someone who was genuinely interested in you but rarely asked questions or showed curiosity about your life?
• How do you stop overthinking individual interactions without ignoring a consistent lack of reciprocity?
• At what point do you stop giving someone the benefit of the doubt?

I'm not assuming she's intentionally stringing me along or that she's a bad person. I'm just trying to figure out whether this connection is worth exploring or whether I'm trying too hard to make sense of something that isn't really working for me.