r/SuicideWatch • • Sep 03 '19

New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement

1.8k Upvotes

We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.

We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.

We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.

Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.

Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.


/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement


Summary

It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.

Validate Feelings and Experiences, Not Self-Destructive Intentions

We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.

But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.

Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.

Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.

In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.

So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.

How to Avoid Validating Suicidal Intent

Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.

  • People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.

  • Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.

  • An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.

  • There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.

To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.

Look Out for Deliberate Incitement. It May Come in Disguise.

Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.

They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:

  • Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.

  • Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.

Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:

  • Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)

  • Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ wiki). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.

Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.


r/SuicideWatch • • Sep 10 '21

Please remember that NO ACTIVISM of any kind is ever allowed here. No matter what day it is.

717 Upvotes

Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.

Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.

But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.

Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.

tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.


r/SuicideWatch • • 10h ago

Should be gone long ago

78 Upvotes

Im 49F, wishing to be gone. I feel like there is no reason to be here anymore. It’s not that there are no people I care about. Im surprised Ive made it this far. I think most people would have definitely ended it if they had endured my life so far. So the specific reasons I want to prematurely end my life is because of being neurodivergent because it has significantly impaired me and continues to. I think I also have complex ptsd. I went my entire life not realizing that im autistic but the struggle has been there all along I just lived in denial and tried to just survive.

I’m at a point where I feel like I’m really out of options. I can’t stay where I’am, can’t afford my own place. Im not sure I have the mental capacity or endurance to get on SSI. Im working part time right now because that is all I could manage and even that is difficult and im in danger of being let go due to the autism/adhd. There are other reasons I’d like to be gone but it’s too difficult and dark to even talk about. Just past things I’m living with which haunt me. If I had to really say the main problem that pushes me to end it is just not being able to afford to live comfortably.

I hope I find a way to go that works. It was surprisingly hard to write all this out. Trying to express feelings publicly. One thing that is sad is there will be maybe one person who might have any feeling about me passing. A sibling I barely know. It will be like I never existed. That’s how little effect Ive had being here. I produced no children. I never married. I was never successful in any of the usual ways most people typically experience. So I feel like my life has largely been like I was alive but not actually.


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

I tried to starve myself and restrict water fully

12 Upvotes

I couldn't take the dehydration anymore after 69 hours, and had food about 1 hour after that. I'm going to try again, but I was having bad heart palpitations that I'm pretty sure woke me up, then I decided to have water. My heart is still beating much faster than usual only an hour after I finished my food and water.

This seems like the easier option than hanging, because I don't have to finish the act myself, it'll just do it on its own eventually.

I feel stupid posting, but I just desperately want to tell someone, because I obviously can't tell anyone in real life that I am actively trying to kill myself. I don't even have any friends, and my mother just seems to try and ignore the subject whenever I bring up that I want to die.

I don't understand why people are so anti-suicide, just because they themselves are personally uncomfortable with the idea of death. All I do is daydream everyday, but I'm sick of the only good things happening to me being in my imagination.

I just had a lot of thoughts, so I've made this post to get some of them out.


r/SuicideWatch • • 13h ago

It's so annoying seeing people say ''It's always the one you never expect'' when I see anything related to suicide.

56 Upvotes

I've been getting alot on anti-suicide PSAs coming up on my fyp because I guess all these social media sites are really good at tracking me.

It's always the same message: Oh look at this grumpy person and happy person, surprise! the happy person was the one to commit. Were you expecting that plot twist?? Just reach out and you'll get help

Then all the comment start saying shit like you never really know 😿

Bro if any of those secretly suicidal people actually reached out and dropped the happy facade would they actually receive help?? I doubt it.

And it's very obviously not just the one you never expect. Sometimes it is just that depressive mf with no future you don't want to be around that decides to commit. Do they receive help for not being able to hide their pain? No they just get ignored or mocked.


r/SuicideWatch • • 11h ago

I wish someone would kill me

34 Upvotes

That’s it. I wish someone would shoot me in the head or run me over. Why is it always people who want to live are the ones who die?


r/SuicideWatch • • 8h ago

Is it worth telling my therapist?

20 Upvotes

I don't think it's ever going to get better after spending most of my life that I can remember with these thoughts. So far I have lied to my therapist by saying I don't have any specific ideas or plans on how I would carry it out. I have three that pop up the most in my mind. I have the means for one method and the other two don't really require anything. I fear that by admitting it I would risk getting in trouble.


r/SuicideWatch • • 1h ago

Fell asleep thinking I could sleep off the suicidal thoughts and I just woke up, wanting to end it even more.

• Upvotes

I should’ve ended it tonight, I should’ve just taken the fucking pills I have laid out in front of me. I do not want to see the light of day. I do not want to be here anymore.
I have been trying to hang on and to see the brighter side of life. I have been trying to change, get better but I’m simply tired. I should’ve never fell asleep and just fucking taken the meds .


r/SuicideWatch • • 5h ago

Not killing myself was a mistake

8 Upvotes

I’m unhappy. Deeply. I keep fucking up. I know I’m fucking up and making bad choices. You think knowing that would make me want to change but I just don’t care anymore.
I’m in college. I’m disabled. I get seizures multiple times a week when I’m stressed or when I’m just waking up.

In September, I decided I was going to kill myself. Started writing the note, picking a date.
And, as suicidal people do, I stopped caring. Stopped trying in school, stopped giving a shit about work or my internship, started drinking a lot.

Then I didn’t kill myself. Now Im left with big sick empty feeling. I’ve let so many people down lately. My disability got worse but what’s worse than that as I used it as an excuse to not even try.

The things that make me happy and the things I need to do are polar opposites.

And of course it’s because I’m such a privileged ass that even get to have that mentality. I’m so very lucky and it’s like I don’t even care that I have it so easy.

All these thoughts, all these issues. They were just gone when I was suicidal. Not doing well in school? Who cares? You’re dead anyway. Work pissed at you? Who cares? You’re dead anyway.

Neglecting the relationships in your life? Eh it’s no issue. You’re dead anyway.

I miss that.

Now I have to live. And I hate living.
I hate living and I hate myself and I hate trying and everyone’s better than me and all I want to do is drop out and take time to just be fucking happy but so much money has been wasted with expectation that I’ll graduate but I’m disabled and miserable and barely fucking functioning.

It’d be so much nicer if I could go back to the wonderful dream that was dying.


r/SuicideWatch • • 1h ago

You can't fix uglines...

• Upvotes

I've (18F, sorry for my horrible English) always found my face absolutely disgusting ever since i was a child, and recently it's gotten worse and worse. I do nothing but vomit and have panic attacks because of it, and I just can't take it anymore. I tried talking about it to my mom, my boyfriend and even a psychiatrist at first, but no one seems to care at all and even think i'm being selfish ? Skincare, makeup, nothing has ever helped, and I'm just so exhausted. I looked into surgery, but it's way too expensive for someone like me who's already in debt. I often go for walks to try and think about something else, but every girl I pass makes me feel like a walking corpse. I recently came across a video of someone who sadly took their own life, and at first, I was a little horrified by it, but I quickly realized there isn't anything i can do to fix this mess anymore, and even if there were, I'm far too tired to have any false hopes again. I really hope they'll understand...


r/SuicideWatch • • 18h ago

I am going to kill myself by March.

86 Upvotes

Second post under 10 minutes of the first one haha, but I decided something that I will try to follow through, by March when the results of my final exams come out and if I don't pass into the final grade and fail I will just kill myself, I am NOT repeating a year bro, i can't. I will just kill myself, that sounds 10 times better


r/SuicideWatch • • 5h ago

I dont know what to do anymore

7 Upvotes

I have always struggled with fecal body odor since i was 12/13, i am now 19. Everyday is a struggle. Everyone literally hates u and its literally better to never be born at all. I remember in secondary school someone mentioned that i stink so bad that if it wasnt for my existence they would probably have done well in the final exams. That really left a deep scar.

I have done nothing good in this world at all, i do nothing but pollute the air. My existence just brings nothing but trouble. My family will be fine without me since i have 3 other siblings who are doing well. Also i am a atheist and a lesbian so im worthless.

I hate this so so much i hate having a terrible body odor. This is literally a curse. I literally did nothing to deserve this. All my life no one understood me. My family cant smell me and think i am schizo and everyone in school and public transport hates me for just existing. My department has smell sensors in the ceiling and whenever i enter the building it always starts beeping, its humiliating.

I spend all my money on supplements and hygiene products but nothing works to completely remove the smell.

Dieting so sucks. feels like i cant eat anything anymore. I miss my moms cooking. I am really craving tom yum soup rn but i cant eat it cuz its spicy and it can irritate my gut worsening the stench.

Recently started school again and i do not belong here. Aside from being a social outcast i struggle with projects and assignments. My GPA is ~2.5 because of depression and this semester is my final sem to make things right but i dont understand anything. I dont understand anything at all. I am falling behind and that might be my last straw. My supervisor wants me to learn on my own but i dont even know how i managed to get this far.

I have already attempted suicide multiple times in the past but they all failed pathetically.

I miss the life i had before. If i think about the potential life i could have had without bo too much i start to get sick. People around me can bathe once a day using their hands to scrub their bodies and still smell good its seriously not fair.

Last week i vomited after taking too many supplements and could nearly taste death. I think i would be so much happier dead, and everyone around me will agree.

My family thinks im lazy and my schoolnates think im unhygienic. No one understands me everyone just laughs at me. I am so tired normally i feel more miserable about living like this but i feel so tired and numb rn.


r/SuicideWatch • • 5h ago

Hopefully my last post

6 Upvotes

Hi, sorry, I know I wrote a post before this but this should be my last one. I’m 18 years old and have always had trouble making friends or connecting with people in general due to my mental illnesses and low self esteem linked to my unattractive appearance. I can’t cope with the fact I’ll likely be alone forever any longer. I feel as though I’m living in a daze all the time and I haven’t been happy since I was a young kid. I can’t find any reason to live anymore. I’m scared but ready to pass away into whatever is on the other side. I should have enough to overdose. Goodbye to you all.


r/SuicideWatch • • 12h ago

I think I'll do it this time

24 Upvotes

I've ordered a helium tank and some plastic hosing. Not that hard to tape it inside a bag. Quick and easy, less than $150. Won't even feel like I'm choking. What more could I ask for. I don't want to die, but it seems like the best course of action to help my family. I dropped out of university, and I'm doing a collage course to be a pharmacy technician. No one will let me live it down. I'm lying to most of my extended family and old friends, and am claiming I'm still in university, but I should have graduated by now. No one understands that I've tried to kill myself multiple times over this. They just see me as a subhuman bug. A failure. A disappointment. A burden. My dad was an abusive asshole to my mom and everything's better now that he's dead. My uncle was a mentally ill university dropout too, and after he killed himself, at least my grandma could stop worrying about him.

I've tried a lot in the past, usually through drug overdose. First it was tylenol, but I chickened out. Then it was nyquil, but I also chickened out. I tried rubbing alcohol but my mom found me and took me to the hospital. It's also easy to chicken out because it burns like hell going down. This'll stick, I'm sure. Far quicker and easier than anything else, I just hope no one finds the package.

They think I'm faking my attempts so that I don't face consequences for dropping out of uni. I never wanted to quit uni, but they suspended me for a year due to academic performance. Nothing's wrong with me besides ADHD, and even the medication doesn't seem to help. I don't cook, or clean, and I only work one day a week, and that's only because the manager took pity on me, because I fucking suck at my job.

I'm glad to be dying. I'm sick of this. My only regret is that I won't get to see how everyone will react. Well. And that I need to wait until I get the damn helium. I hope my resolution will stick until then. I need to do this.


r/SuicideWatch • • 6h ago

Did a stupid thing

8 Upvotes

Just tried to hang myself then freaked out when it started to work. Feel pathetic.


r/SuicideWatch • • 3h ago

something i wrote up about what just happened to me

5 Upvotes

the house is quiet. the pills are laid out in my hand. small, blue, and circular. half blue, half white. and yellow. they all look so beautiful mixed together. my wrist stings and my vision blurs as my eyes well up with tears. the only 2 words repeat in my mind. “do it” but i can’t. my hand drops and the pills fall back into their rightful place. i push the lid on with shaky hands, setting it back on my night stand. they still call my name. telling me they will calm my troubles. but i’m too scared. maybe another night.


r/SuicideWatch • • 3h ago

she has a new boyfriend, and I am left with nothing

3 Upvotes

I still love her. I cannot live without her.


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

I’m disgusting and deserve to die

3 Upvotes

No one will even notice I’m gone. Like nothing ever happened. Such a worthless fucking piece of shit, why do people pretend to love me


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

I live a comfortable life and i still want to kill myself

2 Upvotes

my (19M) parents are rich and i live in their big house so money is not an issue but i still want to end it.

I’ve struggled with social anxiety and a stuttering disorder since i was little wich led me to hate any social activity including school so i dropped out of hs last year even though i had good grades. Now i have no purpose no interests and literally nothing to live for. My family tried to help me by offering to buy me a car so i can get out of the house more often but i still refused, I haven’t talked to them in over a year because it felt embarrassing and now i built up a resentment towards them.

My father is the reason for my stuttering bc he used to continuously yell at me as a child so i genuinely hate him even though he tries to make up for it he still gets violent sometimes.

The thought of killing myself would appear a few times in the last 3 months but it was never too serious, today my dad almost broke my door bc he had enough of me bed rotting in my room all day, and my mom was crying and it was whole mess. It’s obvious i won’t be able to be a bum in peace so I’m thinking about just ending everything, because i can’t see things changing and i don’t have the will power nor the interest to change.


r/SuicideWatch • • 9h ago

i will retire to the salt and sea at the age of twenty three

11 Upvotes

for i'm starting to learn i may never be free

but though i may never be free

fuck you and your money

i'm tired of your money

the most evil nefarious corrupting invention of mankind. you want a roof over your head? work for it. you want food in your belly? work for it. want a place to shit? work for it

you want to live? work for it

fuck this evil fucking world and all of the fucking scum who made it this way. every single fucking one of you billionaire capitalists deserve to get flayed alive. nothing anyone can do in any amount of lifetimes could ever even begin to atone for the evil you have wrought on the world. things were never supposed to be this way. things never had to be this way. somewhere in another reality we are all living side by side, sharing each other's burdens and working toward the common good of all people. but you soulless empty fucking shells of human beings wanted your numbers to go up. you wanted your fifth yacht. you wanted a fucking vacation home on every continent. you wanted that number to go up just for the love of the game. like planet earth is your own personal video game

you people make me fucking sick and my only regret is that i can't take you all with me


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

i dont know the title

3 Upvotes

i just want to be gone. i dont want the pain, even if i think i deserve it, i just want the emptiness. i tired of feeling everything, tired of overthinking, of think, of working, of trying to figure out how to talk to people. i want to close my eyes tonight and never wake up again. i think that'll
be the easiest for everyone. i just want someone to take care of me. i try so hard to make sure everyone is ok but it never seems like others truly care about me, except for my boyfriend but hes long distance and he already has to deal with so much i dont want to put my issues onto him. i wish i could drive to a bridge but im too tired and if i crash the car it'll cost my mom a lot of money. if i do survive, then i'll see how it cost a lot of money. we dont have many pills at my house, im too scare to cut deep, we dont own a gun, theres no plans to i can do, but its fine because i cant make impulse decisions or handle pain well which is why it will never happen. dont have to worry about anything happening to me, mostly posting this just to feel like im talking my plans through to someone, i like explain things. im probably going to delate this later anyways. oh yeah, forgot the other topic- im a sick person, i want the pain to even though i dont like how it feels, i want to be sick, i want any and all metal illnesses. i want to be fucked up. i want to be in the hospital, in a mental institution forced into an isolation room. i want to stab my leg, scratch my skin open, to go literally insane to show people how evil i am. people tell me sometimes that im a good person, that im nice but they dont know what im thinking, they dont know how evil i am. im a pervert, i have wish death upon people, i judge people like books, i manipulate people without knowing so that certain conversations happen. i feel like i need to being that evilness out, so they know, so they stay away. if they see the terribleness that is me maybe they will treat me how im supposed to be treated. and yet i wish for people
the moon is yellow tonight, my favorite color


r/SuicideWatch • • 24m ago

i give uppp

• Upvotes

i’m a walking zombie, most the times i’m just staring off with my mind empty.

Dying would be like pulling the plug on a brain dead patient, im suffering everyday and it’ll be relief.

Hopefully tomorrow i won’t wake up


r/SuicideWatch • • 2h ago

I don’t think I’ll last much longer

3 Upvotes

I worry all the time and I can’t turn it off, but it’s not even just that. I’m so depressed to the point that I feel like I’m aging fast. Im in my early 20s but I feel like I look horrible for my age right now. My depression is making me feel physically ill a lot now. But I’m struggling deep within with other stuff too. I’m tired of feeling the way I do every single day. The worries I have eat at my mind and I can’t take it anymore. I want to die sometime soon but part of me is really scared about it because I don’t believe in life after death. I’m trying to decide how I wanna take my own life, when, where, or if I want someone else to do it for me.


r/SuicideWatch • • 12h ago

Don't Know What To Do Anymore......

16 Upvotes

● I'm 23f and I have intellectual disabilities, as well as cerebral palsy, profound dental issues, asthma, ezcema, toileting issues, dermatitis, behavioural issues, nutrition deficiencies etc. I feel like it may be moderate or severe, because growing up I struggled a lot academically, socially, emotional, physical etc and that can be attributed to my intellectual disability and the cerebral palsy.

● I am very much aware that Reddit is a predominantly an American website, what they consider an intellectual disability in the states is not the same as what an intellectual disability in the UK and within the NHS.

● Although, I am a classified retard, I am aware of what I am. I wish euthanasia was a possibility for me, but it's not. I don't want to rely on my family's care anymore, I don't want social services to intervene in my life. I have spoken to my GP in person multiple times and I have also spoken to 111 and voluntarily admitted myself to A&E, but the NHS is a joke and I just found myself being mocked and exploited by staff members.

● I am aware that I can never find love and get married, have a family of my own, drive a car, own my home etc and it just breaks my heart.

● I want my family to be free and happy, my sibilings hate me as well as my mother. I want to be free from my disabilities and the cruelty of the world. I want out. I don't see any way I can live a happy life anymore.