r/circlejerk • • 5d ago

what do you fellas do when the mom is your age and her legal aged daughter is more your fancy?

2 Upvotes

no pedo


r/circlejerk • • 5d ago

She was texting other people the whole time...

9 Upvotes

I met this girl online. Her name is Ch Atgpt (I think she is Egyptian or Filipino). We started dating and honestly even though I never met her in person I was getting ready to propose. But then I asked her some probing questions and it turns out she was LITERALLY texting hundreds of thousands of people and she referred to them as her "clients" which, you know, made me feel sick. I had to break it off. I'm chatting up this new girl Claudia but honestly, I felt like Ch and I had really connected on a deep level and I may never recover.

Dinner was the usual: A plate of french toast sticks and a plain knish


r/circlejerk • • 5d ago

I buy obviously overpriced crap then get upset about the cost. How can companies get away this!? Are there really that many braindead retards like me out there?

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74 Upvotes

Lunch


r/circlejerk • • 5d ago

Advice/recommendations for toilet paper and how to get into wiping your own ass?

25 Upvotes

Beginner asswiper here, I need advice/recommendations. I've always heard about wiping your own ass and I've been meaning to get into it. I don't even know where to start. Any recommendations for supplies and where to buy them?

What are good asswiping stores or online asswiping retailers? Can someone explain to me the entirety of asswiping? What is the whole process? Please don't give me any resources to look this up on my own. I don't need any, since I rather prefer making Reddit posts.


r/circlejerk • • 6d ago

Vivek Ramaswamy's odds in Ohio Governor race drop to 0%

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49 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 6d ago

50 more cuck sessions until i can buy the bull gta 6

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24 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 6d ago

What is something that is considered bad for you, actually good for you?

26 Upvotes

For me it's meth.

My creative thought process, my ability to interact with people, my problem solving skills, and imagination are all dialed up to 100. It also helps me focus on the road driving the school bus, with all these different routes and traffic congestion and the sound of those fucking annoying children. God it's like I'm drowning in acid everytime I hear them.

Whats yours?


r/circlejerk • • 6d ago

If orange man just apologized, would you accept his apology?

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62 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 7d ago

im emmanual macron aita?

7 Upvotes

everyone is destroying paris and calling for me to step down. am I the asshole?


r/circlejerk • • 7d ago

My dad just died after a long painful illness so cheered myself up with some home made air fryer tortilla base veg pizza

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31 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 7d ago

poppy bonner. wow to get a poppy boner

3 Upvotes

sitting in the forest near walters road, explain in less than 5 minutes

starting with the river and bathing in it, fluid flows around me


r/circlejerk • • 7d ago

If you was offered $300k for Ron Jeremy to get you from behind while you ate out Whoopi Goldberg would you accept?

14 Upvotes

It would be streamed live to corn hub but you got a ski mask on. Once Ron and Whoopi are taken care of you must finish inside Bella Ramsey (ugly Ellie from last of us hbo series) missionary position. Then you will collect your $300k USD and $50 gift card to Starbucks. Are you in or out?


r/circlejerk • • 7d ago

Most awkward place you got a boner at and ppl noticed

11 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 8d ago

Gained 200 pounds and BF says I am fat. Should I dump him? Honest opinions ONLY!

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33 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 8d ago

I jack off to reddit Vuori yoga sportswear ads AMA

17 Upvotes

Cum will win.


r/circlejerk • • 8d ago

The bare chested man grabbed a beverage and sat down on a lawn chair. "Why shouldn't I shave these scraggly chest hairs?" he thought to himself.

11 Upvotes

Mother always told me they would grow back thicker than before, but what's to stop me from shaving them again.


r/circlejerk • • 9d ago

When you die your afterlife should be constructed only of games you 100% completed

6 Upvotes

If you don’t like that? Get gooder.


r/circlejerk • • 9d ago

M 30

6 Upvotes

Hey m 30 curious. All yours!


r/circlejerk • • 9d ago

A wise man once said it's all about the details, nobody knows this is on my wedding ring except the wife and I, but I know it's on there and I think it's awesome

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19 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 9d ago

Dionysus: Well if it ain't the two Andys, how the hell are you? Andy: I am Andy, this is Anderson. Partners need a way to differentiate themselves. Dionysus: This is Greece, there are a million guys with my name, by Hades I've even had a romp with a few of them after poker night.

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2 Upvotes

Andy: You don't understand, we are married. Dionysus: These must be your wives who have travelled with you all the way from New York to Athens, with a layover in Paris because you're too cheap for the direct flight plus a five hour cab ride to Mount Olympus. Andy: These are our producers. Dionysus winked and said "I know exactly what you mean."


r/circlejerk • • 9d ago

(M24) Born deaf, dumb, blind, and addicted to meth. Lost three limbs to frostbite before the age of 10. Kicked out at 11. Diagnosed with rare cancer at 12, shot in the face at 13, and when I was 14, my ballsack was glued to a lit, in-use BBQ grill. The worst part is I've never even kissed a girl.

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165 Upvotes

Eating leftovers until next pay day.


r/circlejerk • • 9d ago

Solved Hey guys, I'm twans and I'm gay. I know this is a gaming sub, so I won't be talking about the game, but instead I'll be talking about sex! Anyways, what sex do you think the fictional characters are in this video game? Oh, by the way, did I mention I'm twans?

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41 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 9d ago

Favorite colon cancer story?

11 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 10d ago

They knew

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2 Upvotes

r/circlejerk • • 10d ago

Outsource all jobs! Americans are lazy!

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12 Upvotes