Hey fellow dads! Lego and Gaming is a great thing if you be a dad, i think🥰

If you like zelda, we also made a video from it with all the sound, music and bit of a story🥳

https://youtu.be/YDes6mTK4U4?is=wM31k6H_Q8HSDRDo

There was a post on here a while ago about dad shoes. Somebody mentioned these bad boys. They are on Amazon for 25% off right now. Sensible deal.

As soon as I slipped them on, I felt the uncontrollable urge to subscribe to Consumer Reports. I made a comment to my wife about when my neighbor was thinking about starting to work on the leaves in his yard. I felt compelled to announce that the days are getting shorter.

Join me brothers

With the great day of candy acquisition approaching, I'm genuinely begging you all to stop driving to the "nice" neighborhoods to trick-or-treat if at all possible.

I've lived in three different neighborhoods in my city. All were perfectly safe, walkable, and had a decent mix of families and people of all ages. None have had any trick-or-treaters in years. Because everybody drives to one of three wealthier neighborhoods across town.

We now live on the outskirts of one of those neighborhoods, so we get to witness the other side of this from 2 blocks away. And I've got a few gripes.

• The traffic is ridiculous.

Every road is packed with cars, both from across town and from smaller communities outside the city. And probably half the people out there aren't even getting out of their cars. They're just slowly cruising the streets while their kids hop out to hit houses. It gets so congested that it's just straight up unsafe.

• You're screwing over your own neighbors.

This is my biggest gripe. At every house we've lived in, we've decorated, bought candy, and gotten maybe one or two knocks all night. My wife loves holidays, and it genuinely guts her every year.

And I know we're not the only ones. There are people in your neighborhood who would love to hand out candy, see the kids in costumes, and participate in Halloween. But after a few years of nobody showing up, why would they keep bothering? Then fewer people decorate, fewer people buy candy, and the neighborhood becomes even less appealing the next year. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

• The candy jackpot is mostly a myth.

The whole "go to the rich neighborhood for full-sized candy bars" thing is overblown. I can think of maybe one house in our town that does it, and they're out by 6 p.m. anyway. After that, you're getting the same miniature candy you could've gotten anywhere else.

• It's gotten so bad that some neighborhoods are doing their own pre-trick-or-treating.

At least around here, some of the popular neighborhoods have started doing early Halloween activities just for their own kids because they know the rest of the city will show up an hour later.

You can call that exclusionary if you want, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree. But it's pretty sad that a neighborhood feels like it has to carve out a private window for its own children just to enjoy Halloween before the crowds arrive.

Halloween isn't a "rich-neighborhood"-exclusive holiday. Odds are good that if this stopped happening, your neighborhood might just be worth trick-or-treating in, too.

Sure, your kids might come home with a few more off-brand Jolly Ranchers and Tootsie Rolls instead of Snickers and Sour Patch Kids. But do we really think they care that much? They're little kids in costumes getting free candy from their neighbors, that's the whole point.

It might take a couple of years to turn things around. Neighborhoods that haven't seen trick-or-treaters in a decade aren't going to magically bounce back overnight. Maybe organize a block party or get a few neighbors together to decorate? I don't know.

Caveat: I'm talking about a solidly suburban city of about 100,000 people, where perfectly walkable neighborhoods are being bypassed for a handful of popular destinations. If you live somewhere genuinely unsafe or so spread out that walking door-to-door isn't practical, obviously that's a different story. But when 20,000 kids descend on a neighborhood of roughly 300 homes, maybe we've collectively lost the plot a little.

Red Delicious apples are the three truths and a lie of the fruit world.

Called the pediatrician and he suggested to watch the poop for 3 days. I'm so worried though! Any other dads with similar experience? Kinda freaking out..

Winter is on its way to the North-East before too long, and that means outside time with the baby (almost 6 months!) Is about to be deeply limited from the cold, dry air and inevitable snow/ice. I decided it would be a fun idea to put a bucket swing in the warm basement for when the little gremlin gets bored during the day or fussy in the evening/night and little squeals and sing-screams wont bother neighbors or anyone in the house (wife works from home on 1st floor, no office door).

Wife loved it and got excited and ordered the little bucket swing. I told her I was going to make a trip to the store for a set of carabiner clips and a pair of swivel plates, maybe some wood anchors if I didn't have the right size.

She said "I ordered those too, the hardware stores on either side didn't have the right size." I was surprised neither had them but told her "Nice, good job checking. I'll get it all put up when they come in." Didn't think anything of it, went down stairs and decided where I'd put it up and put laid out the foam safety pads to secure the swing path for falling.

3 days later, swing shows up, about a pound and a half of a plastic bucket swing and little ropes. Nice.

The next day, a little box also shows up, about the size of a football. Swivel plates and anchor bolts. About +8lbs worth of metal. She bought an iron ductwork suspension anchor kit! Not expensive, but look at the photo! These things are bonkers! Its for a 19lb baby! 10in by 1/2in anchor bolts!

I thought it was a misorder. I went and showed her what showed up going "Gee whiz, look how fat they think our baby is!" She tells me that she did order that size she wanted to be safe, she said it was for max 300lb in case we use the for a bigger swing in the future. She goes to show me her phone, each anchor is rated for securing 2,000lbs.

I said "Its for a baby swing, not mooring in cargo ships!" and she just started giggling. It was a rough week so this was a genuinely funny interaction and we both needed a little laugh. Just gonna run out before afternoon nap for some eyebolts instead.

Hold on dads. This one may be a tear jerker. Proceed at your own risk.

This October marks the 17th anniversary of my daughters mothers death. She was killed by a drunk driver in her early 20’s. Because of work, I wasn’t around for a decent part of my daughter’s early years. After her mom’s death I wasn’t sure how to raise her. Best I could think of is to raise her as her mother would’ve. Do my best not to fuck up what she started. Her mom was an amazing person.

Music was always special to her mom. She enlightened me on the finer points of rock music. Everything from Beatles to System of a Down and Ozzy. After her death I made sure to include various music genres as much as I could in our lives.

As my daughter got older, I started taking her to concerts. Eventually she began buying her own tickets and attending concerts out of state by herself or with friends.

Last Christmas I gifted her 2 tickets to the Sick New World in Texas so she could take anyone she wanted. She. Chose. Me.

So at the concert, System of a Down began playing Aerials. This song always held a special memory for me and her mom. I shed some tears during a metal concert. I wished the three of us could’ve attended it together.

I honestly feel like I did it. I raised a fantastic person. One her mom would’ve been so proud of. I managed to not screw up what her mom started. I’m sitting on an airplane next to strangers right now balling. This weekend had so much emotion for me and I don’t know who could truly appreciate this wave other than other dads.

For those struggling, keep at it. It gets better. There is no greater success than raising a great person.

Also, this post contains way too much personal information but I wanted to share it anyways. I’ll just delete it in a week or so. Thanks for listening.

Skipping ahead, he's fine.

Basically, my wife and I went to the cinema with friends. Trusted baby sitter is with him and my 2 year old. She clearly thought he was asleep and was getting the youngest to sleep. He crept downstairs, unlocked the door and went outside topless and with no shoes. All the way down the road.

I literally only saw him because the doorcam notification popped up on my phone as the movie was starting and I thought it was a bit late. Called the baby sitter immediately and the road WhatsApp group. Baby sitter found him 1 minute later.

He's not thick, but he is diagnosed as autistic but is very high functioning and social, just clearly lacking in common sense.

How do I react/explain what he did is wrong? Please bear in mind I've already told him don't answer the door to strangers, don't go outside without mummy or daddy etc.

Edit- thank you for all the suggestions. I've had a talk with him about it. Not sure how much went in, so I've also ordered some child locks for the front door

Don't be afraid to make noise when you're kids are sleeping. My wife and I have never once turned down the tv/music/our own voice while the kid was sleeping. We got her a sound machine for her and just do what we would as normal. Yeah we woke her up a few times, and yeah that sucks. But shes slept like a rock since she was very little.

I play Forza and watch movies at theater level with an 7.4.2 sound system and she doesn't flinch. I play my electric guitar at mid levels and she's fine. All this from across the hall with the doors open. She's 13 now and still doesn't bother her.

My brother and sister in law used to tip toe around their house. They would invite us over and we'd have to watch a movie on closed caption. It was miserable and I swore I wouldn't do that.

YMMV of course, but it worked for me.

My son is 14 and he got his first girlfriend about a month ago. I swear I went into it with an open mind.

She is just very chatty and bossy. And a bit selfish in my opinion. My son is on the quiet side and seems to just go along with whatever she says or wants to do. She is very pretty and I guess to a 14 year old that’s all that matters.

She’s not abusive. But she is like in her own world and there just seems to be this expectation that he’s going to do whatever she says. And she never seems to think or care about what he may want.

She stayed for dinner one night recently. Afterwards my son commented that he didn’t feel dinner was “too awkward” or anything. I just said yeah it went fine. I kinda feel like my son was fishing for my opinion a bit by commenting on dinner and then seeing how I’d respond. And I feel bad I kind of side stepped it and gave a vague, noncommittal answer.

I wanted to say something, but I felt that anything other than a completely positive response would not go over well. I don’t want him to get defensive. Or think I just dislike the idea of him dating altogether or that I’ll never think any girl is good enough for him.

He’s a teen. Any hint of disapproval might make him dig in even more. We have a generally good relationship but I think my opinion only goes so far at this age.

Do I just bite my tongue for now? Or say anything gently when the opportunity presents itself? What should I say?

Honestly much respect on the random Ramen seasoning packet. 😂😂

Middle schoolers, man

Hey y’all, my wife and I are expecting in April! I’ve been a 95% pc gamer for many years. I recognize my time sitting at the desktop rig will be greatly reduced, and it’s been dwindling naturally anyways over the past few years with home maintenance, longer commute, etc.

Did any PC gamers switch to a handheld, laptop, or something else to fit in some gaming when possible? What did you find worked well? Anything you tried and didn’t like?

I recently tried XR glasses + moonlight/apollo on my phone and it worked alright but not quite smoothly or comfortably enough, the glasses are probably getting returned. Handhelds are hot right now but it seems like it’s tough to get performance and value for the price. Laptops seem like a better value but aren’t quite as convenient as the handheld idea.

If relevant, I normally play fairly recent single player games on Steam or Epic, but nothing my AMD 6700 has struggled with yet.

Gonna rant but need some advice on how to turn the ship around. We have a 2 year old girl (she’ll be 3 in December) and a 9 month old girl. We moved a little over a year ago to be closer to my family and my wife quit her job to make the move. She’s been a stay at home mom for the first time (plan to return to work fully next September).

Since this new baby I’ve been getting consistent feedback from my wife that I care more about the girls than her. In an essential way, that’s true, but they’re also babies and therefore need more love and attention. It’s showing up in moments where I have no more patience to give, or co-parenting nit picks or comments that simply make me respond with sarcasm and a terse tone.

I’ve been chewed out for this both in and out of couples counseling sessions (my idea btw) but it happened again just now after I was short this morning. Our 9mo has been sick 7 of the last 8 weeks as her immune system builds and we’re not sleeping well. So in the mornings I try to let my wife sleep in while I prep everything and juggle the girls. She asked me some questions this morning during handoff and I didn’t snap but I wasn’t levelheaded, and man…I’m just tired of it all.

It feels like there’s no time for a relationship and I don’t have the patience to be a loving and kind husband. My cup is just empty. Anybody feel this way?

Title might seem harsh, and let it be known that I LOVE my 6 week old son. I would do anything for him and readily rise up at my most tired to make sure he’s clean fed and healthy. I’d empty my bank account at a pin drop to make sure he’s healthy and not think twice.

But he is very annoying. The loud cries that turn him purple for the slightest inconvenience , keeping me up all night and forcing me to hold a siren directly to my face, the constant guessing what’s wrong, worrying about breathing and chest movement when really all he is doing is trying to pass some gas, he won’t take a bottle anymore for some reason, he overreacts, squirms and makes terrifying noises in his sleep, the list goes on.

I don’t even feel guilty about thinking my little cub is annoying. He isn’t supposed to be easy. I hear about people’s angelic perfect babies and don’t even get jealous, mine just kinda stinks at being a baby and that is okay.

If you kinda think ur baby is super annoying and don’t look foward to every second with them I think that is A-Okay. I’m not raising a baby, I am raising a man who just happens to be a baby right now. And I think it’s okay to let yourself feel annoyed.

I love this little baby but I fantasize everyday about him being older, and I see this as the trial I have to persevere through to get to my little man.

I consider myself a reasonably handy guy. I do basic plumbing, change my own brake pads, build furniture without calling for backup. I felt ready for fatherhood.

so on Saturday afternoon, I stepped into the driveway to install our new convertible car seat. Just a simple swap. Click the little metal anchors into the back seat, tighten the strap, check the level. Ten minutes, right?

Two hours later, I was drenched in sweat, bleeding from my right knuckle, and kneeling in the back of my Honda with my entire body weight compressing the upholstery into a DIAMOND.

The manual calmly says to "apply firm pressure." Firm pressure? I had both knees in the plastic base, pulling the tether strap with both hands like I was trying to deadlift an engine block. I pulled until my vision went blurry.

I step out, wipe the sweat from my eyes, and look at the little plastic bubble indicator on the side.

Still half an inch in the red zone. Not even close.

I grabbed the seat and shook it with one hand to test the fit. The entire rear axle of the car moved, but the seat still slid three inches to the left. Its like the laws of physics simply do not apply to child safety hardware.

Why do car seat engineers assume every father has the grip strength of an industrial hydraulic press?

My son has unfortunately reached the “I want this toy!” stage of toddlerhood and it’s making going to target quite hard since he wants to first, see the monster trucks, then he wants to of course buy one when we leave.

We have like 20 trucks already at home, don’t need more.

This of course leads to a tantrum as we say no and then have to rush out the store/check out with a crying 2.5 year old.

Any tips on how to get him to understand that he can’t get a new toy every time we have to go to the store?

First time soldering a circuit board like this. Baby monitor speaker connector came off. It works!!

Ive soldered simple easy stuff before but nothing like this. Very pumped.

I am back at work as normal and my wife being on maternity leave has taken this next long weekend to spend time with relatives in Scotland. I have Thursday and Friday evenings free then I travel up north on Saturday morning for the weekend and I have Monday booked off work too so it should be a nice trip. But I am acutely aware I have not had this s much time alone since my wife has been pregnant and I actually haven't had any spare time free since my 5 month was born and I don't want to waste it!

I have all the streaming platforms available (except Apple) what would you recommend to watch? I can stay up as late as 11-12/1am if I must (finish work at 5pm averagely)

I just don't want to waste this opportunity

(If you must know I am planning on Thursday being taco/mexican fajita night -I might get a few coronas or desporados in then Friday night I am going all out with steak and chips, thinking blue Stilton cheese and a cheesecake to finish, I am keeping myself to two pints of Guinness as I am driving 8 hours the next day to Scotland)

I have 2 kids (6 and 3) and it’s great.

I always wanted a 3rd, but my wife (38) did not. So we called it quits at 2. Or so I thought.

3.5 years later, she now wants a 3rd. Our situation has changed a bit. We make more money now and put an addition on the house, so those kind of practical issues no longer apply. One of her sisters as well as a close friend just recently had babies.

I’m on board, but want to get it done ASAP if so. First baby was easy, second one took 8 months or so of trying.

Any one have experience with this kind of thing? Ideally we would have done this already and I recognize time is kind of running out here.

I'm here for the advice but I'm going through it, dads, and would appreciate it if you indulge me while I vent/whinge as well. Feel free to wallow with me or skip to the end.

I'm late 30s and I'm not exaggerating when I say that I've probably had the hardest year of my life (so far). Moved country, social difficults for my ND kid starting new school, new high-pressure job, my own dad died, lost that job, currently back looking for another. That list also does a disservice to how messy and shitty each of those things was in it's own right.

Now it looks like my marriage is coming to an end unless something changes with the way I show up in my own life. I can't miss out on half my kid's childhood. It's not an option. I'll crawl through glass before I let that happen. Also, that woman has given me years and a million opportunities, she's at the end of her rope and she deserves better. They both do. I do too.

Thankfully, I'm in OK health, and not dealing with anything completely destabilising like addiction. I am grateful for everything in my life that's going well. But, fuck me... I'm tired, gents and gentettes. I'd be tempted to cut myself some slack since it's been a hell of a year, but that's not an option. So, please save the sympathy: advice is preferred.

The main issue in the relationship as wells as my job/career is that I'm not motivated; I'm a hollow person, drifting through the day. I don't know what I want. I feel like I used to be a whole-ass person with goals, desires, drive, interests, but that person slowly atrophied over years to leave a zombie, shambling through life. I don't do anything unless circumstances demand it - I'll just shuffle around until I need to make someone a snack.

In my marriage, this manifests with me going along with the wife since I don't really have a strong feelings about things. I'm not being proactive and planning things - I'm just a passenger. Anything that's not the usual day-to-day, she plans. We recently had a vacation - she planned the whole thing months out, I just turned up.

I do my fair share around the house - 60-70% of all the day-to-day household/childcare stuff is me. I.e., it's not like I'm incapable of getting things done. I'm doing plenty, but just the physical things, which leave her to always handle the mental.

Career? Lost all semblance of a career plan after crashing out a PhD nearly a decade ago. Just going from job to job with no real aim, just what's available and pays the bills. The path of least resistance. Now that job's gone too.

With the year having gone the way it has, my mental health has definitely taken a hit; I'm a lot more irritable and sensitive. I don't think I'm depressed (I went through a depressive period in my mid 20s, this isn't like that, mood is fine) - I'm just grossly apathetic towards my own life. On ADHD meds for a few years now and def helping with the day-to-day but not with the passivity. Booking a therapist? I'll get around to it...

I think you can see the pattern.

Partly, I'm too wiped out/busy with the day-to-day. But equally, that's just a crutch to excuse me from having to the real hard work, because I don't know how. It would be one thing if I was being selfish and neglecting those aspects to do things I enjoy, but I'm neglecting myself too.

I feel like I don't know how to be a whole person anymore. If you're reading this and you have no idea what I mean, I don't think I can convey it to you. But I fell like there must be subset of dads out there who know exactly what I'm talking about and have managed to turn it around for themselves and their families.

So:

To those dads who were able to go from being a passive spectator as their life passed them by: How did you do it, what worked for you? If it was therapy, what kind? If it's "get your testosterone checked and lift heavy" what was your experience with that?

I've tried before, but it never sticks. Life always seems to find a way to just drain any momentum or good intentions I've built up and I slip back into the same routine. So, those who have, how have you navigated that kind of change around family, career, finances etc?

Seriously, when is it going to stop with the glasses full of water that keep getting knocked over the table?

If it's not the baby, its the toddler. If it's not the toddler, it's me.... I'm just so tired of cleaning everything in the middle of dinner and again after. And all the time... Bah

I try to log some overtime for work each night after the kids go to bed. Lately my 3yo has decided to make a game out of nighttime routine and see how many times she can be put back into bed. Every single night this week

Shower, brush teeth, read story, put her in bed
Go to my office across the hall, log in, hear tiny footsteps
Put her back in bed
Back to office, sit down, read two lines of an email, tiny footsteps
Put her back in bed
Repeat for the next 20-40 mins

About the only thing I’m getting out of this is the core workout from sitting and getting back up. The problem is her window to stop coming out of the room varies so much that sometimes it only take three times of putting her back and sometimes it takes 15.

We have a 2.5-year-old boy who is generally happy, energetic, curious, and sociable. But there's one thing that seems to trigger a tantrum almost every single time: transitions.

And I mean pretty much ALL transitions.

• Leaving the house? -> Tantrum.
• Dropping him off at kindergarten? -> Tantrum.
• Picking him up from kindergarten? -> Tantrum.
• Going to grandma's house? -> Tantrum.
• Leaving grandma's house? -> Tantrum.
• Stopping an activity to start another? -> Tantrum.

The funny thing is that he usually enjoys whatever we're transitioning to. He likes kindergarten, loves his grandma, and enjoys going outside. But apparently, getting from A to B is unacceptable.

It's almost as if the problem isn't what we're doing, but the fact that we're changing what we're doing.

We're trying to be patient, give him advance warnings, explain what's coming next, and establish predictable routines. But sometimes it feels like half of our parenting consists of negotiating transitions between perfectly enjoyable activities.

Is this just a normal toddler phase? Does anyone else have a child who struggles with practically every transition, even between things they enjoy?

Well fellas! Today’s my daughter’s 13th birthday! It’s official….We have a teenager! She’s elated that I can’t call her a tweenager or a preteen anymore. She’s already got the hufffff and eye roll down.

We also have a 2.5 yr toddler boy in full toddler mode. We often refer to him as jack jack from The Incredibles.

All jokes aside, I wouldn’t have it any other way! We have great kids and even with the age gap they have an incredible bond. Getting to experience all the different phases broad spectrum is so frustrating and rewarding at the same time.i try to remind myself to soak it all up. It happens quick!

Feels like a switch has been flipped.

As soon as bedtime story has finished it’s mega screaming and crying when put in her cot.

She was absolutely fine with being put down and tucked in but now each night has about 10-15 mins of screaming and shouting and crying.

Have others had a phase like this around this age?