I’m turning 27 in November and I have 0 friends. My last friend blocked me for no reason yesterday when I was speaking with her fine last week. May 2025 I lost everything after mental breakdown and psych ward stay and ever since then I’ve been in isolation and trying to heal. I lost 2 friends this year and I don’t know what I did. All I asked one friend was for equal effort and the other one blocked me for no reason. I’m alone and I have no family support either I’m just a 27 year old woman trying to figure everything out. It’s just me. I used to have so many friends in my early 20s now I’m alone. I don’t know what to do or if I’ll ever find my people. My life completely changed after May 2025 I came out with no job no friends no support. I don’t know what the universe wants from me

Working out, sometimes twice a day and 15k steps has kept me sober, stopped me from breaking down and made me completely emotionally numb. I also take an SSRI.

Gradually over the last couple years I have:

Isolated myself from all but a few of my friends due to deep seated fears, and avoidant attachment style.

Sabotaged my relationship with a wonderful man who has since broken up with me.

Gotten into my overdraft.

Ended up in a dead end job with long hours.

Stopped speaking to family because I feel I have nothing to say or give at the end of my long working day.

Movement has kept me sane, and I've never felt more physically fit, however I feel its becoming an obsession and unhealthy coping mechanism. I'm struggling to keep weight on, and am now underweight according to the BMI but if I stop, I feel like I'll go crazy. I spend my days off working out and base my routine around it, so much so I never "have time" to sit down and fix my personal problems.

Focusing so much on my physicality has been such a relief and distracted me from any emotional urgency.

Where do you even start when there's so much you want to change, but you feel so numb and lost and isolated?

i am suffering end stage kidney failure and undergoing dialysis. IDK where to go but if I wind up homeless one of my options is to undergo hospice. Mom is kicking me out because I can't pay her rent since I quit my job and my college schooling. I'm worried this isn't fixable

I'm curious how others in their early-to-mid 20s are dealing with this stuff.

Everyone seems to have it figured out online, but I'm guessing most of us are still working through something, whether it's appearance, career, money, friendships, relationships, or just feeling "behind."

If you're 20, 21, or anywhere in your 20s:

What's one insecurity you still carry?

What are you doing to work on it (therapy, gym, journaling, new habits, just time)?

Has anything actually helped?

No judgment here.

Hoping we can learn from each other. I'll go first in the comments.

My procrastination doesn't stop at studies or chores anymore. I'm lazy to even get on a game or stand up to grab something (e.g a sketchbook to start drawing, a charger cuz my phone is low, I can't even start writing in my diary atp!!!). This is getting genuinely ridiculous. My lil hobby (journaling and doodling)? Been pocrastinating tf out of it for a few months now. Few years ago when I was still in middle school I remember that I sat for a bit and then was like 'oh yep, gotta do this rn' and stood up to do something I needed to with sheer willpower. Now it just feels impossible. I watch as the minutes bleed into hours and nothing is getting done...

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These are some lessons I learnt from my experiences that though I am still working on them and wanted to share so that it can help someone. Even if it helps a single person I would be glad.

1.Other people expectations don't determine your worth: I wanted to be able to look at my life and say that I didn't give up on myself. I felt that becoming successful is the strongest way to establish my worth, both to myself and to other people. I to some extent achieved what I had worked for, made my parents proud, maybe someday I would achieve everything but I didn't allow myself to feel that I were enough rather I would immediately find the next thing I needed to accomplish.

So ambition is healthy when it helps you build a meaningful life. It becomes exhausting when you're using it to earn permission to feel good about yourself.

2.Looking for lessons in every experience: Even difficult experiences seemed to prompt me to ask what I can learn from them. I was never content with simply going through life without examining it. When I was struggling I didn't allow myself to simply struggle, I immediately begin looking for lessons, the solution, the mindset shift, or the personal flaw I needed to work on. When something hurted, I didn't let it hurt. I spent so much time working on becoming a better version of myself that I never quite felt comfortable being the version of me that exists right now.

You can learn about emotional independence while still struggling of being affected by other people behaviour towards you. You can understand self-love intellectually while still having days when you doubt yourself. You can know that failure doesn't define you and still feel disappointed when you fail. Genuine self trust requires accepting that sometimes you'll make a perfectly reasonable choice and someone will still dislike it, misunderstand it, or judge it.

3.Trying to control how I am perceived: I tried to control everyone's interpretation of my words, my actions. Someone can interpret my words as attention seeking. Someone can interpret confidence as arrogance. Someone can interpret silence as indifference. And someone can misunderstand me even when I have chosen every word carefully.

The part worth examining is whether you're polishing your expression because you enjoy communicating well or because you're afraid of how people might judge the unpolished version of you.

Beliefs that sound like "I am not good enough" or "I can't do this, this isn't meant for me" "I cannot achieve anything in life as I am doomed", "I deserve not to stay here since I only bring shame and disappointment" "I am a failure" "A big disappointment to my parents and mostly myself"

edit: journalling only helps me to an extent, self affirmations haven't worked out well for me, lol.

This question came up to me today when I was walking into a lab (I am a science major at university) 25 minutes early, and one of the lab TAs said, "God, no need to come in so early," with an attitude. It really pissed me off how someone would be so bitchy to a stranger for no reason. Later, I thought, no one actually likes someone like that, right?

She reminded me of the people who would bully me in high school. Does anyone actually like people like that? Do they respect their audacity and attitude or something? Why are they always so popular too? Are they just fake and trick everybody into thinking they're nice? Are people just too intimidated by them to speak out or stand up against them?

Basically title. I (32M) got "fired" (they let my contract run out and won't renew) due to low performance from my previous job. I'm about to start a new one in a more demanding field and I'm hella scared.

Old job was me and a machine, do stuff, analyse, report, usually took 1-2 months between reports depending on project. New job I have to face industry customers (semiconductor), high demand, do everything ASAP, do well, move to next one, keep costumers and boss happy. Boss seems very strict, despite being an apparently very competent guy. Small team of around 15-20 people. I will get training.

In my old job I got.... Lazy. Started using phone too much, unmotivated, fuck deadlines, who cares if it is done well or not (everything after I got the news I was fired).

I'm afraid I may carry this onto the next job, do badly again, and get fired promptly. I start on the 1st of November.

I have no family but I live with my partner, trying to start life together. Enough savings for 4 months, and money invested that if I took out, would be another 5 months to stay afloat. Foreigner on a limited visa.

How to improve, or at least don't let this fear dominate/control me, to the point that I cannot do anything? How to improve?

What I mean by that is that I have been trying to plant some healthy new habits in my life, like doing a small workout in the morning or creating a to do list at the end of the day for the next day. But I can't hold those new habits for more than a couple days before I relapse.

This has led to so much frustration about any new habits I get suggested by my family or friends, that a part of me has become aggressive against the idea of any change which I objectively know to be positive. Basically, my head is saying: "why even bother anymore? I'll just end up disappointed anyway". So, it's not a fear of change. It's become an anger of change.

Again, I know objectively theses new habits yield positive results. And I do want to implement them, but this frustration won't let me appreciate my own effort or even acknowledge the fact that my family and friends are genuinely trying to help me.

Has someone here experienced something similar and what helped you out of this cycle?

My boyfriend (29M) and I (26F) were together for about a year and a half. We were planning to get engaged, he’d bought a ring, and we’d talked extensively about marriage and children. He was my best friend.

I struggled with anxiety and what I’m now learning is severe pre-menstrual dysphoria (a mood disorder) and relationship OCD. I questioned his intentions and struggled to trust him, even though I loved him deeply. We had a few particularly difficult conflicts. In one of them, I accused him of planning to cheat based on something I found, and went to his place to confront him. I later found out it really hurt him.

We started couples therapy in July after that difficult fight, but I eventually canceled our planned engagement trip amid financial concerns (he had a lot of debt he hadn’t told me about) and mounting relationship stress a few weeks ago. I said some not nice things during that period of time, like assuming part of why he wanted to live with me was to benefit financially off my income, and that he wanted someone to provide for him. I’m honestly not proud of how I worded those doubts.

He became increasingly distant after that, despite telling me he wanted to reconcile. Then he broke up with me over the phone after a night out drinking with friends, just as I was beginning treatment. He said he’d been privately unhappy and lacking in confidence for a few months now in our relationship, and with the canceled trip and work stress, he just couldn’t handle it anymore. I tried explaining my diagnosis and the patterns I was uncovering through recent treatment/therapy, but by that point I don’t think he cared.

I’m devastated and physically feel sick with grief. I can’t imagine loving or wanting anyone else, and I’m consumed by guilt over how differently things might have gone if I’d gotten help sooner.

Has anyone experienced losing a relationship because of untreated mental health issues? How did you cope with the guilt and the possibility that things could have been different, and outside of obvious things like medication, how do you make sure it never happens again?

I will take any advice or tips I can get—thank you in advance.

**I am currently in a very low place emotionally.**

I’m a single mom to a 12 year old who needs more of my attention than I feel I’m able to give. As of a couple months ago, his father has been in an emotionally volatile place and is not able to watch him or provide child support.

I’m a personal trainer working at an amazing gym… but am extremely unhappy and unfulfilled. I am blessed to have an extremely high retention rate.. so I’ve been able to get away with not doing “lead generation” (getting new clients) for a very long time. It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten how to do many parts of this. However, because I’ve lost some clients over the months I feel somewhat anxious about not bringing new clients in. However, even though I want new clients for the money, I don’t have the mental capacity to take new clients- so there’s a big tug of war there.

I reached a point a few years ago where I’m no longer able to pull joy from my own workouts. Those workouts used to be the highlight of my day. Now I have to force myself to do it. It’s an identity crisis. I’m now struggling with my own fitness, and yet I’m expected to help other people reach their full potential. So that’s been weighing heavy on me.

I’m an environmental science student. I recently switched tracks, so this is my first semester taking a class. I’m interested in learning more about endocrine disrupting chemicals and how to improve human health and quality of life by protecting people from an excessive amount. So the end goal is to become a Chemical Policy Analyst. The discouraging part of this is that most of the classes I’ve taken aren’t a part of this degree plan. So I have 68 credits remaining. This wouldn’t be so bad if I could go to school full time. However.. due to my single mom obligations and my need for human connection, I feel like I can’t do that.

Before getting pregnant at 21 I associated with people who weren’t the kind of people you’d want to surround yourself with as a mother. When I got pregnant I cut off every single one of them. However, I was in a toxic relationship… and when this person left me for someone else, I had no one (except my mom). Anyway, experiences linked to this led to me self-isolating for the bulk of the last 10 years. It was fine for a while (I just took classes and worked on my fitness goals for the most part during this time). But I’m now at the point where I’m desperate for human connection.

This led to an idea to make an app that helps people make friends. I’m in the beginning stages of using AI to make it. This app has a different concept than any other app I’ve seen, and I think it will be successful. However, I’m filled with so much self doubt overall. I want things from so many different areas of my life that I feel stuck. I don’t know how to manage my time or other resources. I need advice, and accountability. And honestly, just someone to hold my hand through it all 🥺

My parents have never been able to give me helpful life advice (neither of them are even in a position I would want to be in). Can someone please help me or point me in the right direction of someone who can give me advice 😢

I'm 25f and I feel so depressed about my life and i have no goals right now because I can't get myself to care about anything.

I started feeling like this during my senior year of college getting super anxious and hiding in my room and skipping exams and doomscrolling all night. It's been over a year now since I've graduated and I cannot for the life of me get a freaking full time/corporate job. I've applied to over 350 jobs and nothing has passed a 2nd round interview and then I'm ghosted. I had a breakup in June and a best friend break up right after. And I just moved to a big city to try to push myself

I've tried creating content on TikTok and some videos have done really well but I don't have the drive or discipline to be consistent. My sleep is terrible and my diet is not bad and I do workout. There's no structure to my days because I lose motivation and bedrot for days without leaving my apartment. I feel like such a loser and I avoid talking to my family because I'm ashamed.

I didn't use to be like this which makes it worse. I used to have drive and feel excited for life and have big dreams and those dreams are dead. Maybe it's my stagnant job progress or the depressing state of the world. I feel so guilty with all the privilege I have and I know someone in my current position could take so much more advantage.

I don't know how to fix myself.

I'm 22M, I have been feeling very very lonely past few days. I've been longing to be loved and cared for a while now.

I talked to my friend about it and he just told me to do some inner work like self care, getting new hobbies and such... But I don't feel like doing any of them.

It's more like on and off, one day I do things right and next day i don't do it.

I sometimes feel like I'm victimizing myself too much but at the same time life hasn't been kind lately.

Financial issues, my depression, relationship issues with my parents.

I have to find a job soon and I have this terrible job anxiety... I've never worked and I'm scared that I might screw up and get judged or be called names.

Idk... I've been Journaling and audio Journaling as well but it just doesn't help. I need therapy so bad but I can't afford it.

Have you ever felt like wanting to do something, like taking action to change things, but you are so mentally low that you cannot really take any action, even if you are willing to?
I am facing this same thing. I know I need to do things, I need to take action, but I just can’t. I can’t.
I am so disturbed that I just can’t think of anything positive. I don’t know if this is normal or not. Whatsoever. But I can’t think of a way out of this. I am not taking action, I am crying. I am just not trying to get myself into one. I don’t know what is happening.
I am just laying, thinking, not doing anything, when I know I should be doing things. I am not seeing anything with a positive side. I cry over every minute problem.
I am zoning out on every topic. No fun, nothing, nothing. My skin looks dehydrated. I have lost my spark.
And the worst part is, I know I need to take action towards my problems, and I even know the solutions, yet I am not. And my problem is I dont have any patience left to solve my problems in small steps.

When I speak to people I think in my head ‘yeah I’m going to say Hi back confidently’ and then…. It comes from the throat like a mice just spoke

For example when someone is speaking to me I always reply back with a high pitch but so quietly like I sound awkward how can I speak loud and clearly

hello people of reddit!! :) it’s my first time posting on this subreddit and i’m face palming for not finding this sooner. anyway, hope all is well with everyone!

so hopping to the meat and potatoes of this discussion, i would like to seek some advice on how to love spending time alone. despite being an introvert, i like it when i’m surrounded by or talking with people. and while i’d like to think that i’m fine being alone, i like having someone to debrief with and talk about the mundane stuff with. i used to think i’d find that in a romantic partner (which lead to me to romanticize love) but i think i just want someone i can be vulnerable and comfortable to be authentic with. however, i can’t help but overthink— that i’m too much or burden my friends with my neediness and constant need for attention. i don’t want to be a toxic friend. bc of this, i isolate myself until i’m back to being “normal.” how do i not feel so extremely and be so sensitive all the time? the self-help books are not very helping me so much 🥺

I feel like I’ve completely lost myself over the past few years, both physically and mentally, and I genuinely don’t know how to turn things around. I’ve gained over 40 pounds, and it’s taken an enormous toll on my self-esteem and the way I see myself. I feel so incredibly ugly and unattractive, to the point where I dread seeing photos of myself and actively avoid having pictures taken. I barely recognize myself anymore, and it’s devastating to feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I don’t feel feminine, beautiful, or confident, and I feel like I’ve completely let myself go. I also have no real sense of personal style, don’t know how to dress my current body, and rarely feel put together. I desperately want to be someone who takes pride in her appearance, looks polished, and feels beautiful, but I feel so far removed from that person.
Beyond my appearance, I struggle tremendously with motivation, discipline, and executive dysfunction. I have so many goals and aspirations, but I cannot seem to translate my thoughts into actions. I procrastinate constantly, struggle with basic routines and self-care, and feel overwhelmed by things that should be simple. I also struggle with brain fog, word recall, and articulating my thoughts, which makes me feel even more insecure. I feel like I’ve lost my ambition, drive, intellectual curiosity, and general excitement about life.

I spend so much time researching self-improvement, planning routines, and imagining the person I want to become, but I rarely manage to follow through with any of it.

What’s especially frustrating is that, objectively, I have a good life. I’m educated, have a professional career, and have accomplished things I should be proud of, yet I feel deeply dissatisfied with myself. I constantly feel like I’m wasting my potential and falling short of the person I know I could be. I want to feel beautiful, feminine, intelligent, articulate, disciplined, organized, and confident. I want to wake up feeling excited about my life instead of disappointed in myself. I feel like I’m stuck in this endless cycle of wanting to change everything about myself but feeling completely incapable of actually doing it.

Has anyone else experienced something similar and genuinely managed to turn their life around? I’m particularly interested in hearing what helped you rebuild your self-esteem, develop discipline, improve your appearance, and regain your sense of identity. I feel like I’ve spent years waiting to become a better version of myself, and I’m terrified of continuing to waste my life feeling this way.

After we awaken, sensing the first quiet messages from within, we begin to understand every person, even those we do not know, is intimately connected.

With this understanding, we now realize it matters not if someone is family, different from us, or complete strangers. We are all one, related, brothers and sisters, alive to selflessly help everyone in their journey through life.

guys how can I stop my gaming addiction? the reason why i want to stop are because I had spent too much time playing video games and didnt spend enough time to study.

I have a huge crush on a friend of mine, and it's mutual so we have been talking a lot about it and we have been spending a lot of time together. My problem is that, for no reason, I have started to hate her.

Like we would be talking normally and having fun and suddenly I feel like she's making fun of me, or that she's using me in some way, or that she doesn't really like me, and I start getting genuinely angry at her and even feel HATRED towards her. I never express it though, and I'm happy I don't because once the moment has passed I can't comprehend what I was so angry about.

It has come to a point where it's hard for me to be vulnerable with her, or feel confident next to her, without both of us being drunk. And I don't want a relationship where we have to be drunk and babbling for us to be open about our feelings.

Any advice? Any tips on what I should do or possible causes for this?

Hello people 🍁
I wanna share smth I discovered about myself and I don’t understand fully how to navigate this.
So I was always sure that I am pretty smart. I thought that I can analyse things, that I see clearly everything. I was sure I am self aware person.
Then I gave birth to a beautiful baby, got hit hard with postpartum anxiety, went deep into spirituality (where I shouldn’t have gone) and then at one point I realised that my emotional intelligence is great, but logic just doesn’t work… When I analyse smth I almost always get things wrong, I don’t understand many things, I just find it hard to use logic. Stuff where other people can see obvious connections I usually over complicate and come to wrong conclusions.
I understand that I need people who I trust to interpret things. My husband does it for me, but it’s a humbling experience when you realise that you are not smart.
I also have adhd and ocd, not a severe form, but it’s there… my brain just see things differently and I don’t understand how to make it better.
Like example, I got some rash on the skin I will always think it’s something bad and forget that I used a new cream and it’s just some allergies. You know. This is a simple thing, but omg it is so hard.
What do I do? How do I improve it? How to make my brain understand things properly without making everything complicated, negative and just wrong?

Thank you 🙏🏼
Sorry for my English, it’s not my mother language 🥲

No one that is normal would spend 15-21 years of age mainly on bed,avoindjng people, possible jobs, passions. No one would go to college for something they are not even into. Everyone has some passion. My only was to doomscroll. A 21 year old Man that is a child. I dont remember anything from my past and my future is probably doomscrolling and dying before 30s

fonts. alignment. i changed the title like 9 times. then at 11pm i realized i had 11 more slides and zero energy so they’re all just bullet points i’ll read off the screen lmao
i do this with everything now that i notice. the first thing gets everything i have and the rest get whatever’s left. so now i set a timer before i start anything and when it goes off i move on even if it looks ugly

24M , I suffer from severe General Anxiety Disorder.

I work in a public sector bank and The anxiety i have everyday from day to night is just killing me from inside.

My manager is beyond toxic and he pressurises us on every single thing . Then there is a pressure for the customer as well. Toxic and rude customers who come to branch to fight and argue.

Now you can say keep yourself busy but even while doing other activities, I keep thinking about those incidents. I just can't get it out of my head.

Now my problem is I overthinking to the point where I physically can't even do anything. I know it's now a good thing to do but it doesn't just go away after some time. It stays forever . Little minor argument and I keep thinking about it whole day , all the time while sleeping, eating , drinking. I can't sleep at night. I keep replaying the situation and Can't get it out of my head.

I get freeze at the moment and can't reply back , neither to my manager nor to any customer . In fact I get freezed up every time I there is a situation of confrontation. Then I can't get those things out of my head. In fact I tell you something , things which happened 3 months ago I still can't get out of my head.

Please Please give me practical solutions on how I can change myself. What should I do ?

I was thinking of learning martial arts , will it make me more courageous and confrontational ?

I don't know , please help me.