Great food, bad service - the host / manager who took the order was curt, the servers who brought the food never cracked a smile or said a word - and did not even move the plates on the table to make space for new ones. We picked ‘no tip’ when we paid on the handheld device - the waiter exclaimed ‘no tip?’ - went to complain to the manager / host who came and asked ‘no tip? We said - yes, no tip. He goes on to say ‘ok, tip the next time’. When we left we saw our waiter screaming to another waiter and pointing at us. We are polite people who organize the empty plates and cutlery after our meal to help easy cleanup in restaurants and are always nice to the servers and staff. Truly bizarre experience.

What gets me most about tipping is the victim complex. These people will act like you've personally destroyed their life because you didn't tip them.

You'd think they were performing open heart surgery instead of carrying plates and writing down orders. No degree, no specialized qualifications, no particular barrier to entry, despite this they're entitled to a bonus and a standing ovation for doing the job they applied for. And apparently you're an evil human being if you don't subsidize their employer's payroll.

Imagine demanding charity from your customers and then having the audacity to act offended when they decline. The entitlement is genuinely fascinating.

Are all big chains now sneakily trying to increase the tip amounts? Went to Cheesecake Factory and Red Robin Burgers over the weekend, and both places displayed Suggested Gratuity calculated on Total after Taxes. I’ve usually just gone the easy route and tipped the Suggested Gratuity amount at restaurants, but after seeing posts on this behavior recently, I decided to pay attention. And sure enough, I catch it in action. This is such a sneaky way to increase the tip amount without making it seem like so. Now I’ll be watching for this everywhere I go.

I got takeout from a local pizza restaurant I usually place orders at through an app but they don’t have the personal pizzas on the app so sometimes if I just want that I call in the order and pay there. The cashier asked me if I wanted a receipt and I said no. I remember noticing I didn’t get prompted for a tip which I thought was odd but at this place I can’t remember if you sign the tip or do it on the card reader since I do this so infrequently.

I paid on Apple Pay so I saw the transaction instantly and that it was about almost 2 dollars higher than what I normally pay so I glanced at the menu to see if they changed their prices and saw that wasn’t the case and then got the guts to confront the cashier. He claimed I tipped almost $2 which I know I didn’t because I was never prompted and didn’t sign a receipt. If I remember correctly I think the tip is done on the receipt and not the card reader at this place so I believe even if you didn’t want a receipt you’d have to sign anyway so that could have meant he was signing in my name which is scary.

I didn’t complain in the moment because it was such a low amount, I didn’t have a lot of time, and idk how I could prove it. but I was pissed enough to leave a Google review to warn people, because I can bet you I’m not the first person he’s done this to. I was quite stunned because I always thought this was incredibly rare and never happened. Has anyone else had something like this happen?

Edit: idk why people are jumping on me and trying to gaslight me. This absolutely did happen. I usually pay 8 something dollars and my charge jumped up to $10. Am very surprised at the absolute vitriol I’ve gotten simply for sharing my story.

Like when going to a cafe but they only serve sweets and you have dietary restrictions? I don't want them to deal with the cost of making up food I don't want, and tips are way higher margin for the employees than food which has ingredient costs. I'm okay with tipping in exchange for a space for a time, but there isn't a clear number since nothing is written down these days. (Obviously doing so when they aren't too busy and not leaving a mess. Just buying a coffee I don't want feels like a waste.)

You guys can tell me if I’m wrong for not tipping but today my 2 friends and I went to Olive Garden and for starters we got our appetizers halfway through our main meal and on top of that we ordered a side of extra fettuccine sauce which we never got and even tho we asked to take it off the bill they never did. Our waitress wasn’t even the one who brought our food but other waitresses. We also noticed that the waitress would keep skipping over us despite her taking things out and checking up on her other tables next to us.

"A 6% packing fee applies to all To-Go orders"

One thing that really bothers me at restaurants is when the server brings the credit card machine to the table and then hovers while I select the tip.

Last night’s dinner brought my frustration to a peak. Before the bill even came, I said, “If she hovers while I choose the tip, I’m going to lower the amount.” That’s how irritating this has become.

Paying at the table is convenient. Having someone watch me decide how much to leave makes it uncomfortable. Dinner shouldn’t end with a generosity exam while the grader stands over your shoulder.

I’m not sure whether this is a business decision, how servers are trained, or simply an individual habit. Whatever the reason, looking away or giving me a little space would make a big difference.

Does anyone else find this awkward? How do you handle it?

See the title... are there really no other jobs available other than serving?

I ask because people often claim servers can't just "go look for another job" or customers should know the "job market sucks." Just seems like people point to these extreme scenarios to rationalize why servers "rely on" or "work for" tips.

Hello all! I’m totally on board with the no tipping at coffee shops, weed stores (I’m in CA) etc but I’m a bit confused on sit down restaurants and delivery. Now, I very rarely do either of these but tomorrow my partner and I are going to get apps during happy hour and I’m already wondering if we should be tipping? And on the off chance I get something delivered food wise, are we to tipping the drivers? Just want some clarification from people! Thanks.

​

I recently came across a food vlogger sharing a story about how they went to a café, ran up a bill of around ₹7,000, and then refused to pay when the owner asked them to. Apparently, they told the owner that if they were forced to pay, they would leave a bad review and shut the café down. The owner even asked them if they expected to wash the utensils instead, but they still refused to pay.

And the worst part? They were telling this story as if it was something to brag about.

I found the whole thing incredibly creepy and disrespectful. You're eating food worth ₹7,000 at someone's establishment, and you think your social media following entitles you to walk out without paying? How is that something to be proud of?

I understand that influencers collaborate with businesses, and there's nothing wrong with a mutually agreed-upon barter collaboration. But there's a difference between a business willingly offering you a meal in exchange for promotion and you demanding free food after you've already consumed it.

These days, some influencers seem so desperate for free stuff that they've forgotten the basic difference between a collaboration and entitlement. You're earning money through your content, so why is paying for your own food such a big deal?

And threatening a small business with a bad review just because the owner expects you to pay your bill is honestly disgusting. Small businesses work hard to survive, and not everyone can afford to absorb a ₹7,000 loss just because someone has followers.

Having an audience doesn't make you more important than the person running the business. If anything, using your influence to intimidate someone who is simply asking to be paid is an abuse of that influence.

Free food is not a right, and an influencer's reach is not a licence to exploit businesses.

As title says, now we’re tipping and paying for employee benefits. Seems so excessive

It’s a popular deli where you order and pay at the counter. The cashier yells out what I owe (Think, “The Soup Nazi” from “Seinfeld”). I pay cash, get change, and am handed an empty cup for a self-service drink. There is a tip jar next to the register. I don’t tip. I fill my own drink, find a place to sit in the tiny, 10-seat eating area. I pick up my sandwich when my name is called. I bus my own disposable tableware when I’m done. I go back to tip $4 based on the tastiness of a well-made, $20 tri-tip sandwich. My companion asks me why I tipped. I said because they did a good job on the sandwich. My companion says I don’t need to reward anybody for how they made the sandwich, which was as described on my order, and because I served myself, I shouldn’t tip. It got me thinking. WWYD?

Its just easier for everybody of they just tell me how much to tip. So I no longer have to think about what to tip. The restaurant simply decides for me. More restaurants should do this, I wouldn't even care if they had a flat fee for service either instead of a percentage.

I constantly see “it’s a minimum wage, easy job”, “they should be paid minimum wage because that’s what they’re worth”. I genuinely don’t believe anyone saying that has EVER been a server or bartender. Serving is the hardest, most stressful job I’ve ever had. And my last job was in the medical field seeing 70+ patients a day. I will absolutely be tipping them because I know how hard it is. Trying to manage 8 tables at one time is insane and takes a special kind of person to do accurately.

I used to feel embarrassed when I tipped below the prompted 15% or 18% but I’ve come up with mental gymnastics to skip the tip and feel absolutely nothing.

Step 1: Erase the entire concept of tipping from your mind. It’ll take some practice.

Step 2: If your internal dialogue tries to rationalize or guilt you into tipping, start talking back to it.

Example:

A is the pro-tipping intrusive thoughts and B is me responding to it.

A: You should tap the 15% tip button because you’ve always done it. This sushi restaurant makes great food and has great service.

B: What is a tip?

A: A tip is an optional payment you can give the server for their exceptional services.

B: No it’s not. A tip is a psychological trick by greedy capitalists pigs to make the customer subsidize their employees wages so that the employer can pay them less and make more money. If servers want to make more money, they should ask their employer to pay them more. If employers want to make more profit, they should increase menu prices.

A: If you don’t tip, aren’t you afraid that the service you’ll receive next time at the same place will be worse?

B: I’m mainly there for the food and not service. I don’t care about service as long as my food and iced water is being served to me.

A: Aren’t you afraid that the staff will know you as a repeat offender and give you crappy service and tamper with your food?

B: No, I’ll just walk out and go somewhere else. Or cook at home.

A: Ok we’ve gotten a bit sidetracked, let’s focus on the task at hand. The server is waiting for you to select the tip amount on the terminal. The sushi was good, but you don’t like tipping, so how about we compromise and tip them 12%?

B: What is a tip?

Rinse and repeat. Practice makes perfect. Erase it from the mind 1984 style.

Any questions, comments, suggestions, and emotional outbursts are welcome.

I'm European so my view on tipping is a bit different, but i have a genuine question. I absolutely understand that workers are underpaid and thats just how it is. Taking aside that the employers should pay, why are the tips so high? Ive never been a server but i have been working with people for the past 3 years since i was 15, at a job which is socially demanding too, i deal with difficult people as much as a server might.

Lets say a server has 4 tables that each paid 120$ for an hour and a half that youve been serving them. If youre expecting a 20-30% tip, that would be 120$ in tips, 80$ per hour. That seems unreasonably high. Even if you might split with other workers, which ive read sometimes happens sometimes not, is (at least from my point of view) way too high for the type of job done.

Easiest $0 tip of my life. I’m so done tipping for takeout orders. Never again.

I live in West Virginia and work in a bed and breakfast and my boss keep taking my tip because she says it "pays for the wine and snacks she leaves". Is this illegal?

Went to a restaurant with a friend last weekend. Food was alright, service was nothing special. The waiter brought the bill and asked if I'd like to leave a tip.

I said no.

He actually goes, "No tip? We work very hard here, you know."

I looked at him and said, "And yet somehow the food still took 40 minutes to arrive."

The waiter says, "Sir, tips are a big part of our income."

I said, "Then take that up with your employer. I'm a customer, not your payroll department."

He starts getting visibly annoyed and says, "It's just common courtesy."

I told him, "Common courtesy is doing your job without trying to make the customer feel guilty for not giving you a bonus."

He goes, "You don't have to be rude about it."

I said, "You're right. I don't. And you don't have to beg. Yet here we are, both making questionable career choices."

My friend nearly choked on his water.

The waiter says something about how people like me shouldn't eat at restaurants if we can't afford to tip.

So I told him, "That's an interesting business model. The customer pays for dinner, then pays extra to avoid being insulted by the person who brought it. Is that listed on the menu too, or is it an exclusive package?"

At this point his face was completely red. He snatched the card machine back and muttered something under his breath.

I asked him to repeat it but he just left whimpering.

I went to Starbucks earlier and was presented the tip screen after ordering. I of course choose zero and when I received my order it was wrong. Incorrect breakfast sandwich. This alone is a reason never to tip in advance of service. Not that you should ever tip for counter service anyway, but it applies to everything. Delivery, etc.

Entitlement.

Anyone who is pro-tipping and believes in subsidizing the wages of waiters and waitresses, but does not tip all other minimum wage workers, such as your local grocery store worker is a hypocrite. It is very clear.

Many grocery store workers also work part time. They get tipped $0, and definitely not 20% as the Waiters / Waitresses which are also minimum wage workers expect to be tipped.

Either waiters and waitresses are hypocrites, or greedy. Which one is it?

Greed and Entitlement:

Being a minimum wage waiter / waitress, expecting to be tipped, but not tipping the grocery store worker.

Who is the fool, the one who tips, or the one who earns $8k+ per month working a part time job as a minimum wage worker (only in America).

For the tippers:

There is no excuse, if they do not tip every minimum wage worker who they encounter, then they themselves are a hypocrite

Like everything else, inflation has really driven up the cost of eating out. I'm wondering how people feel about still tipping 20%. The percentage is based on the cost of the meal. The meal price has grown. So a server used to be tipped $20 on a $100 bill (for example) their job hasn't changed, their service hasn't changed, but the meal is now $150. So the tip at 20% is now $30. For the customer, this means that a former dinner out that was $120 with tip is now $180.

The server is earning more in tips due to nothing but the cost of goods increase.

I'm all for tipping servers. They do the work and they deserve a tip for it. I'm just wondering where the line is and if the standard 20% is changing.