I (29F) have been saving for a home down payment for almost four years. I work overtime a lot and cut most unnecessary spending, so this money means everything to me. My brother (24M) wants to buy a brand-new truck. He came to me last week and asked to borrow 12k from my house fund. He said he would pay me back slowly over two years. I told him no right away. My parents jumped in and said I was being cold. They told me family should help each other, that the car is important for his job. They said I can wait longer to buy a house, but my brother needs the vehicle now. I explained that if I take money out, I will lose my planned timeline and miss the chance to get a good mortgage rate. My brother called me selfish. Now at family dinners, everyone keeps bringing it up. Some relatives say I don’t care about my own family. I hate the tension, but I don’t want to risk my future home. AITA?

Pretty simple, my wife is abusive and I stay because of our kids who need me. Anyway, it’s been getting worse and last week I got yelled at and berated so badly that I started to have a panic attack and I needed to pull myself together to take the kids to school so I quickly went to the garage and made a few marks under my shirt to stop my panic which did work, as I knew it would.

Obviously I didn’t tell my wife because I’m sure I’d get yelled at for it, so I hid it. I’m starting to feel guilty though because if my kids ever see like in the summer when I take them to the lake or whatnot, I don’t want to set a poor example.

I feel like I’m not an AH to my wife for what I feel are obvious reasons, but I feel like a AH to my kids.

I (26f) have a really nice set of cookware my grandma gave me. When my roommate moved in, I told her she could use it on the condition that she hand-washed everything and didn't use metal utensils.

Last week I found my favorite pan warped and scratched from being left on high heat. She shrugged. “It’s just a pan, I’ll buy you a cheap one.”

I told her she wasn't allowed to use any of my cookware anymore. She said I was being dramatic and punishing her for a small mistake. Now she's telling our mutual friends I'm controlling and materialistic.

I just want her to respect my stuff. AITA?

So I know how that probably makes me sound, and that’s exactly why I can’t help but wonder if I went about things wrong. 

Me (NB24) and my ex (NB22) were together for nearly 3 years and looking into an apartment. Our relationship was open from essentially the start, but it was more in theory than in practice. The one attempt to try something out I made the mistake of choosing a friend I had history with who wanted more than I was offering. 
Skip to recently. 
My BF (M27) was a friend I was getting closer to, and upon realizing I was attracted to him I pitched another encounter to my ex, and was approved to try again. 

The thing is, it came with a ton of stipulations this time that were downright uncomfortable (i.e. a list of places he can’t touch me, i can get him off but never let him get me off in any way, etc) and in trying to work things out it became clear to me that my ex didn’t want me to continue, despite them trying to insist on trying anyway. 

However… I’d been hanging out with my BF a lot. Literally just playing video games and making out, but it felt so much lighter than I had in a long time. I realized that I wasn’t willing to give up on having those kinds of experiences, and then that if I were to break things off with my ex it would go TERRIBLY. 

I was their only support in a big city, they had dropped out, were struggling emotionally, etc. I genuinely feared for their wellbeing and life, and in the end it was that fear and how much guilt I held about it that made me realize I needed to move on. At the time I genuinely wanted more to date around than be with my now BF. I broke things off, did my best to be understanding and gentle because I did and still do want the best for them!

They would up checking into a psych ward the same day, and since then it has been a mess of me being blamed and stewing in guilt. I was accused of not caring about a suicide attempt I didn’t know occurred, told we could make it work, then expected to be a shoulder to cry on when my own heart was broken too. 

At the same time, the now BF was supporting me, being patient and fine about whatever I wanted to be, and became more of a best friend than a mere hookup. I fell for him over the course of the following weeks, and we’ve been dating since. 

I recently cut off contact with my ex because every conversation was a new argument that made me feel like the worst person alive, and I couldn’t find any way to reconcile nor did I want to keep trying to when I was never understood. I still can’t help but fear that I was in the wrong, that it was an emotional affair, and that my ex reacting so severely is a reflection of my wrongdoing. 

TLDR: Exploring an open relationship with my ex made me realize that I was unhappy, but now that I’m dating the hookup instead and my ex is struggling I feel like I may have handled things wrong. So, what do we think? Did I cross the line between polyamory and cheating? How do I navigate these situations better in the future? 

My boyfriend (24m) and I (21f) have been together for a little over a year. We moved in together a few months ago and it’s been nice. We’ve had our fair share of arguments, but i feel like we always bounce back. Basically he has two major exes that i know about and naturally i looked them up to see what they look like (is that normal i thought it was lol). I never went to say anything to either of them or start issues i simply wanted to see. me and and my friend were gossiping the other night and one of us between passing the phone, back and forth mustve followed the girl. The problem is I didn’t notice till the next morning when she followed me back. Now i was stressing because I know how weird this looks and i would never do this on purpose. I could unfollow but she followed me so i just left it be because i thought that would look weirder but I didn’t tell my boyfriend.

Now a few nights after the follow he was showing me something on his phone, and i saw her notification come up. My mind went to the worst becuase he said that he never speaks to her so yes i did the childish petty thing and posted a pic of me in his car for her too see (yes i know its childish okay lets move on) so she obviously saw it. so that was maybe two or 3 days ago i asked him about the message and he said she sent him a video on tiktok and he never replied. anyways fast forward to today i saw he blocked me on instagram which is weird because we never even followed each other then when i saw him later on he asked me why i followed her on instagram and he BLEW up at me i mean he was pissed. so i told him it was an accident and he asked why i was stalking her page in the first place he was just being overall mean and harsh about it. he even knew what i posted so she’d know i was with him and i was basically saying i dont think its that big a deal if u guys arent talking anyway.

he just kept saying i shouldnt have been on her page in the first place but like lets not act like we havent all been there. he said any problems that come from this with her is on me but then i asked again why would it be an issue if you guys dont talk lol. he basically said im a weird pos what do you guys think I obviously have to take some accountability for following that was so dumb of me but is it a big deal if everything they had is in the past?

I (30M) was with my ex (29F) for a little over a year when we recently broke up. When we met, we hit it off very quickly and moved very quickly in our relationship which in hindsight may have not been the smartest choice. We always had little spats over finances throughout our relationship along with other minor disagreements which can be chalked up to cultural differences. Throughout our relationship we were unable to save money due to our large amount of spending despite having a high income household (200-220kyr myself + 90k her), I had a few conversations with her around needing to budget better/save but I could never get her to end up stop spending money. We spent 2-2.5k/mnth for groceries + household items (cleaning supplies) for two people for example, which I found to be outrageous.

Now I most certainly made mistakes during our relationship and by no means am I perfect, but I always tried to improve, went to therapy to work on myself and genuinely wanted to be the best partner I could be. I'm a very calm individual and grew up in a household that showed little emotion, so becoming more emotionally vulnerable was something I was putting in work on so I could be more in the relationship. Towards the end of our relationship, due to a cultural issue with her parents, we had a large fight that ended up with her stating we're done. To which I accepted, emotionally retreated and just went numb which isn't ideal (something I'm working on with my therapist). Afterwards I regretted that, we discussed and decided to give it another go and agreed that I had some things that she wanted to see improve (largely around emotional availability/not shutting down during fights). Her family is used to fights and genuinely enjoys them it seems, where as I'm quite a bit more emotionally reserved.

After this initial breakup and working on myself, I attempted to show her some emotional vulnerability by sharing something I was feeling that wasn't sitting right with me. I mentioned to her multiple times I was not accusing her of anything and was simply sharing what I was feeling, yet she got mad at me and told me I was accusing her of a specific action which made me completely withdraw. Shortly after this she ended up asking me to speak and saying she wanted to break up, which this time I completely accepted and just walked away. I had no interest in fighting for the relationship at this point as I felt like we were getting into a bad cycle.

She came back to me a few days later stating that she wanted me to fight for the relationship and that her saying she wanted to breakup was a test to see if I would essentially beg/fight for her... which I told her I wouldn't do. She's used to her ex's stalking her and trying everything to get back with her, which I would never do. I told her I respect her decision, and if that's not what she wanted she shouldn't have tried to test me by saying those words. This feels quite emotionally manipulative to me and childish. Through out all this by the way, she admits no fault and continues to believe every issue in the relationship was entirely me and she does no wrong. When I tried to tell her a few things I believe she needed to work on for her future relationships, she said "I'm sorry you feel this way" and we stopped talking. AITA?

Me 19(F) my bf 20(M) have had a good relationship 8 months decent sex satisfactory in my opinion I have an extremely high sex drive for a woman and was very clear about that when we were first dating I made it clear I wanted someone who could keep up with me i asked him if he could he assured me he can and even said he might have a higher sex drive then me which I doubted highly but his confidence made me think he could at least keep up we go about dating it's good we have alot of sex but now it's slowing down he just doesn't do it anymore it's once a week maybe everyother day if I'm lucky but often not even that much it use to be every day and that is satisfactory to me i don't cum and have never really been able to but I enjoy the sensation of coming close and I enjoy having sex in general my ex bf 20(M) was extremely good in bed and we had perfectly matched sex drives and sexual desires we liked the same stuff and we knew eachother so very well we're communication while in the act was natural and easy and amazing that sex could tire me out for days but we did it every day anyway because we enjoyed it so much now being with my current bf it's just been hard for me since he isn't a fan of porn I guess he doesn't consider it cheating but he isn't a fan so I do try to not use it and I've been up front with him about my use and when/if I do basically I just just want to know if I'm being too much by asking for daily sec I obviously don't want him to do anything he doesn't want to do but I truly need someone that can keep up with me sexually and me and my ex banged for a couple months after we broke up because our sexual chemistry was that strong and were both very high sex drive I would like my bf rn to be like that he is perfect for me everywhere else but this is where I find the issues sex for me is so important makes me feel connected and loved and desired it's extremely important for me and I'd like it to me of the same importance to my partner idk AITA?

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (23M, turning 24 next week) for four years.

Two years ago, his sister almost died during surgery. I was the one who got her into one of the best hospitals in our city through a friend, and most of her treatment was covered because of it. On top of that, I covered her job at his family's restaurant during the day and then went to my own job after, working 14 to 16 hours a day while he just did his normal 6-hour shift. And I still made time for him.

Now here's where I might be the asshole. My dad has cancer. Because of his treatment, I've taken on extra responsibilities at my family's company, covering part of my dad's workload. My boyfriend knows this. And instead of supporting me, he started a fight because I take too long to reply to his messages. Sometimes up to four or five hours, because I'm working. Accounting, invoices, orders, shipments. Meanwhile, he just serves food at his family's restaurant.

He said I wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship and that it doesn't take two minutes to answer a text. That's when I snapped. I called him a little bitch and told him he's selfish, because my dad has cancer and all I've gotten from him is him being needy.

And honestly, it's not just him. His whole family knows doctors. They never offered help for my dad. Not once. I don't need it, I'm fully capable of handling it with my own family. But I moved heaven and earth for his sister, and they can't even offer a phone number for mine.

I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. He started crying and begged me not to break up. My sister says I did the right thing. My mom says I went too far.

So, AITA?

I (35F) and my bf (45M) have had a pretty great relationship for 2years now. He was my best friend, my partner, and someone who I genuinely trusted with my whole heart. 2 days ago, one of my girl friends texted me screenshots of him DMing another girl. He was replying to her Stories. She never replied (bc she thought he was creepy). He said things like “so sexy” “I’m in Korea, let’s meet up” “looking foxy” “I love your s line” “wow. Can I have a dance?” “Yummy” “let’s play poker and grab some food” “I hate small talk too. Let’s get nerdy :) let’s meet up” “so yummy” “wow” “let’s go to Hawaii together”.

So I see all these screenshots…. And I’m matching up the dates. Some of the dates when he’s DMing her are when we are spending the day together and he’s literally sitting at my house. Another one where he is asking her to hang out with him in Korea, he’s literally in Korea sitting across from me. And the one that kills me…. Is the one where I invited him to my hometown and hosted him for the week, to which he texted me and thanked me for a wonderful time saying it was one of the best memories…..and then turns around and DMs her to meet up. There was even one that was on OUR 1year anniversary where I took him out to sushi omakaze and we took pictures together, and that day he is DMing her “do you have a boyfriend?”

I am so devastated and hurt and I just don’t understand how someone I loved and who seemingly cared about me and wanted to spend time with me could just turn around and do this. I don’t recognize the man in the texts. And I am so ashamed of being taken for a fool. That I am an idiot for not seeing this sooner.

So prior to this, he had won some money from me in bets. We like to bet each other stupid things like on tennis matches, golf, presidential elections, hi card low card, etc. We kept a running tally (I actually never won once). Anyways, I had lost a substantial amount to him (5 figures), and he kept it with me to invest for him because that’s my job, which I did. I earned him 25% return and paid him out on it. We were partners I thought, and even if we eventually didn’t work out as a couple, at least we had enough respect for each other, personally and professionally to still be best friends and work together.

But now after discovering these texts, I am so hurt I don’t know what to do or how to confront him about this. He is in Korea and doesn’t know I know yet. These texts have been going on the ENTIRE time of our 2yr relationship. To be clear, she never responded to a single one of his DMs and blocked him immediately after she found out about me 2 days ago. I already know what he’s going to say when I confront him - “nothing happened. As you can see in the texts, she never responded so I never met up with her. Therefore, I never cheated on you. Nothing happened.”

That will be his response because something similar happened when I caught him messaging my friend on a dating app and she reported it to me. He said “look at the conversation. I never once asked for her number. I never met up with her. I didn’t sleep with her. I didn’t say anything to her that I wouldn’t say to another girl at a bar”

So I am thinking about reneging on all the money he won from me on the bets. Because those were bets made in an exclusive relationship and he violated that trust DMing another girl (only one that I know of, probably more). It is a substantial amount of money. He did win and I am an honest person and I do not believe in reneging. However he hurt me so badly and betrayed my trust. I am more sad than mad at this point, and I want to hurt him as badly as he hurt me. I feel embarrassed, humiliated, betrayed, and stupid to have trusted and given so much to this man who I loved - not just talking about time and affection and care, but also expensive trips, resorts, Rolex birthday presents, courtside bball tickets, etc.

So AITA for reneging and keeping the money that he won from me and not squaring up the bets? I already paid him out the 25% I earned for him on top.

Hi! I'm new here, so this is my first post and sorry but this will be a long one.

I (20F) met my now-ex-boyfriend (22M) at a summer festival, and we started dating two months later. Looking back, I felt like we rushed into the relationship because I didn't know him well enough yet. Things were great at first. We would go out after my classes and talk, but after a few months, I realized that I still didn't really know him. I told him that I felt like we talked without actually getting to know each other on a deeper level. He's a very emotional person, so he started crying. I didn't fully understand why because I wasn't trying to hurt him; I just wanted us to communicate better and get to know each other. As far as I know, he hadn't experienced any past trauma or problems that might explain his reaction.

A few months later, around Christmas, I started noticing other things. When it came to gifts, he didn't seem to put much thought into them and would usually buy things from Temu. I now have three lamps that are the same, just with different designs, along with other random things. He had a stable job and lived with his parents, so money wasn't really an issue. I'm not saying gifts need to cost thousands of euros, but I put more thought and effort into his gifts and spent money I had earned from my summer job.

There were other little things, too. Once, he didn't want to spend €3 on parking, so he parked farther away, and we had to walk 30 minutes to our date. We then had to walk back in the rain.

I also started feeling like he didn't really listen to me. I was going through a stressful period with school tests, and on top of that, my aunt had passed away. One day, we went out, and I thought we were going on a date, but he drove us to a secluded place so we could do you know what in the car. I broke down crying because I was exhausted and just wanted to go home to my dorm. He asked if I was crying because of my uncle, which made me cry even more. He didn't know what to do and started crying too. Then he got out of the car and sat on a rock. I just stared into the distance, waiting for him to come back so he could drive me to my dorm.

Another time, he told me that he had been hanging out with his friends and their girlfriends when one of his friends jokingly asked where his girlfriend was. Apparently, he started crying over that, too.

We had been together for eight months, but during that time, he had only visited my home once, for two hours, to meet my family. Afterward, we drove to celebrate New Year's Eve with his friends, which I didn't particularly enjoy. Meanwhile, I visited his house almost every week. Eventually, my school tests started piling up, and I spent two weeks+ at home studying. We didn't see each other during that time. The longer we were apart, the more I thought about the emotional distance between us.

When summer would came around again, I knew I would be working almost every day to save money for the next school year. That meant we wouldn't see each other much, which I knew would make him upset. I didn't want to be the reason he was constantly stressed or crying. I reassured him many times that I was there for him, that I loved him, and that he just needed to wait a few more days until we could see each other.

In the end, I decided we should break up. There were several reasons, including everything I mentioned above, as well as some other things. I also felt that ending the relationship might be better for both of us.

We lived two hours apart, and he found the drive difficult. At the time, I hadn't passed my driving test yet, so I couldn't drive to see him myself. During the summer, when I would be working almost every day, we probably wouldn't have seen each other unless I took the bus which was 3 hours drive. I knew the distance would be difficult for him, and I didn't want him to keep feeling stressed or crying because of our relationship.

He took the breakup relatively well and agreed with my decision. He told me that he had never experienced that much emotional stress in a relationship before, which hurt me to hear. hadn't realized how much it was affecting him because he hadn't really communicated that to me.

I never realized he was struggling that much because he hadn't communicated it to me.

I told him that if he ever needed me, I would still be there for him, but after that, we stopped talking.

Later, I saw him again at the same festival where we had first met. We talked, cried together, but still managed to have a good time. When it was time to say goodbye, and I cried again before going home.

I did have some thoughts about whether I had made a mistake by breaking up with him, but eventually, I let those thoughts go.

So, AITA for breaking up with him? Was there a better way to handle the situation, or did I make the right decision?

I (20F) have a friend (21F) whom I've been pretty close to for three years. Over the past two and a half years I've noticed a pattern of behaviour that's increasingly started to bother me, and something that happened today made me question whether I'm being unreasonable.

Today, five of us went to our college cafeteria, me, another female friend, this girl, and two male friends.

She'd forgotten her bag, so she went back to get it after asking one of the guys to buy her food and save her a seat. When we arrived the cafeteria was packed. Our table only had two chairs, so my female friend and I went looking for extras. But this girl just stood there, expecting one of the guys to get a chair for her. Sure enough one immediately got up and did it.

Once we settled down one of the guys was about to sit when she asked him to get her ketchup. He got up again.

She and one of the guys had ordered the same tofu and mayonnaise sandwich. He'd already opened his, while she was opening hers. She handed hers to him, told him to open it and keep it, and took his because it apparently looked better. After he'd opened hers she decided his original sandwich looked better after all and started whining in a baby voice that she wanted it back, but he'd already taken a bite so they couldn't exchange again.

She kept asking people to open things for her, hold things for her, and do little tasks she could easily manage herself. It wasn't one request that bothered me, it was the constant expectation that people would cater to her.

And this isn't just about today. She regularly asks us to carry her bag, complete assignments, send answers, upload work on her behalf, and get her printouts. In three years of college I genuinely cannot remember her getting her own printouts. She expects others to handle even basic responsibilities.

She's very pretty and charming, and I sometimes feel people are so taken with her that they don't question this behaviour. Everyone just does whatever she asks them to do, and she

I have no problem helping friends, but I believe there's a difference between doing someone a favour and being expected to do everything for them. Individually these incidents seem minor, but together they feel like a pattern to me.

I've tolerated this for 2.5 years, but I'm increasingly irritated and want to spend less time around her. Maybe she doesn't realise how often she does this, and maybe everyone else genuinely doesn't mind.

AITA for wanting to distance myself from her? Am I being overly judgmental, or is it reasonable to be put off by this repeated behaviour?

I (20F) recently decided to cut off a group of girls I’ve been friends with for six years, and I’m wondering if I’m wrong for how I handled it.

We’ve been friends since high school, but over time, I started noticing how negative they could be toward me, especially when it came to my relationship and personal life.

Whenever I couldn’t hang out, they would automatically assume I was with my boyfriend. The frustrating part was that I never lied about spending time with him. If I was with him, I would tell them. He also worked closing shifts at Target, so half the time he wasn’t even available. I was balancing college, basketball, and two jobs over the summer, so I genuinely had a busy schedule.

Another thing that bothered me was how negative they were about things I was excited about. In August, I went to Glacier National Park with my boyfriend, a trip I was really looking forward to. Instead of being happy for me, I felt like they focused on the negatives. This wasn’t anything new either. Whether it was my relationship, something I posted on Instagram, or something I accomplished, there always seemed to be something to criticize.

Whenever I tried bringing up how I felt, the conversations usually turned into everyone pointing out what I was doing wrong. Eventually, I got tired of having the same conversations and feeling like nothing was changing.

The last time we actually spoke was August 25th. I was the last person to message our group chat, and nobody responded. We didn’t speak again until my birthday in October, when they all wished me a happy birthday. I appreciated it, but that was the only communication we had.

I also didn’t invite them to my birthday celebration because we hadn’t spoken in almost two months, and honestly, I didn’t feel comfortable having them there.
After that, I decided to distance myself without explaining why. Part of me feels guilty because six years is a long friendship to walk away from, but another part of me feels like I’ve already tried communicating my feelings before.

I understand friendships go both ways, and I could’ve reached out too. However, I was the last person to make an effort, and I didn’t want to keep forcing something that no longer felt genuine.

I don’t hate them or wish anything bad on them. I just feel like I shouldn’t have to constantly defend my relationship, my schedule, or the things that make me happy.

So, AITA for cutting off my friends of six years without having one final conversation, or was I justified in quietly walking away?

So basically, I’ve (F20) been dating my boyfriend (M22) for a few months now, and love him very much. He’s perfect for me and I could never imagine being with someone else.
However, recently I’ve been having these weird thoughts about the past. Prior to my relationship with my current boyfriend, I had a long term fwb that ended in an incredibly toxic manner and led us both to never contacting each other since. I know there would never be a chance for us to rekindle what we had, and knowing the type of person he was, I don’t even want that, but I’ve been thinking about him lately. We’ll both be going out for Halloween in the same city and even though I know I’d never cheat on my boyfriend and have no wish to try get in contact with this past fwb, is it weird that I have these scenarios forming in my head where I get to see him during the Halloween night out?
I feel like a horrible girlfriend for even thinking that and my boyfriend knows exactly everything that man put me through so it’s not as if I’m wishing to cheat or leave him for the SOB but my mind feels so fuzzy and conflicted..
Am I crazy or what..? 😬😬

Hi there it’s been a while since I posted. So currently I am in a relationship with my bf of 5 months and he truly is the love of my life. The only problem? Our mutual friend who I’ll call Angie. She isn’t necessarily a bad person just slightly irritating and extremely sensitive. My bf HATES calling and rage quits games frequently so I never play with him or call him. Now this was all completely fine until I recently found out that he calls Angie multiple times a week, plays games with her, and calls and plays games with our friend group frequently. Obviously this made me start noticing other things such as how he tends to insert our group and Angie especially into our private time and when he inserts Angie when it’s just us three they always specifically (and exclusively) talk about games, videos, shows and creators they know for a fact I do not know at all.

Fast forward to yesterday me and bf got into an argument about it and he got PISSED. He’s been annoyed or angry before but I have never seen him this mad. I was desperately trying to explain why this was so important to me and why it hurt so much but I guess all he heard was “don’t hangout with Angie ever again!”. Everything I said he turned into a problem no matter how many times I tried to say that the problem wasn’t their friendship it was how he gave a girl he isn’t dating more attention and leeway for things he didn’t like then he did with the one he was dating. He said some things in the argument and I still don’t know how I feel about them. Can someone please explain to me what I did wrong? How I can fix this? Or atleast what made him jump to the conclusion that i didn’t want them to be friends.

I (W)(25)female got married in January to (T) (21) male and now I want a divorce. I am also 5 months post partum. T thinks we haven’t really tried to fix the marriage and that I owe it to us and our baby to try again. The marriage has been emotionally draining, emotionally abusive. I have post partum depression and was hospitalized. He didn’t treat me go during pregnancy or after. I kicked him out and told him I wanted a divorce. Am I the a- hole to want a divorce and not give him second or third chance. P.S we were in therapy.

I need some advice... I am a (41F) in love with a (40M)..

Alittle back story, I have been on and off with the love of my life, since I was a child.

We both lost our virginity to each other when we were 15. I was so in love with this boy, I'll call him "RR" I thought he was the cutest guy ever, although he wasnt very good to me, he was a bad boy smoking and drinking, he also wouldnt claim me as his girlfriend except behind closed doors, even tho everyone knew we were a thing.. I chased him for 2 years then moved on, we lost touch but I remained friends with his brother. "RR" ended up getting a girl pregnant and had a child when he 18years old. I went 10years without seeing him, Eventually I too had a child years later tho. I was 27 when my sons father and I split up and I just so happen to run into "RR" a few months later and it just so happened him and his childs mother had split up recently too.

We began to hang out again, and he apologized for the way he treated me when we were kids and asked me to be his girlfriend on my birthday. We dated for 7 years from 2014-2021. Lots of family activities with the kids, we rarely ever faught, we lived together on and off, but covid kinda grew a wedge between us, I would go a whole month without seeing him, when we did see each other I never wanted to be intimate with him, I had also gained weight and didnt like myself. I felt like we werent moving forward, he just wanted to stay home all the time never go anywhere, never put effort into a date night, or do anything to make me feel like he cared. So I broke up with him. Over the next 5 years I moved on, lost weight, moved to another state and what are the chances, his brother lived 5 mins away!! So his brother and his girlfriend and I would hang out, I asked how "RR" was doing, his brother told me hes single I should message him... eventually after a few months I finally reached out to "RR" and we started talking again. I flew up to visit and we spent 2 days together, and 2 month later I moved back to my home state and now here comes the problem...

From the moment we started talking again, It was like we picked up where we left off. He was so happy to see when I came to visit, I was always close with his child so seeing her after 5 years was really cool. His whole family welcomed me back with open arms. He never offically asked me to be his girlfriend but we are 40 years old now. Its just an unsaid thing. He was on dating websites over the time we werent together, and I dont know if that changed him, but he openly admits he has no friends, one of the first weekends after I moved back, he told me on a friday night that he was going to "help a friend" never said what he was doing or where he was going, but I felt like he might be seeing someone else, so I didnt talk to him for 3 days I was heart broken I thought this is what we both wanted, after 3 days of ignoring him, I finally answered one of his texts and told him he needs to make a decison, I want to be with him and he said there is no one else and he wants to be with me too. But never did explain where he was or who this friend was... Since then he hasnt disappeared, he messages me everyday, hes affectionate, we have sex 2-3x a week. Things are good... its been about 2 months, Well I asked him to post were in a relationship to Facebook, so he sent me a link I accepted it, well yesterday at lunch w his daughter asked when were going to make it offical... I told her joking its on facebook now, she looked and on his facebook it doesnt show he has it hidden..

Should I be upset? I feel like from 15 years old to 40 is basically my whole life I have invested with this person, I love him and do want to be with him, he has made comments recently about the next move is to get a place together.. I try to see him every other day or more even tho we live 30 mins apart. I dont want to waste anymore time with someone that is just leading me along... I dont know what to do... I went and seen him lastnight and we watched a movie, talked and had sex I didnt bring it up, today hes been messaging me like usual sending me reels but I am upset.. Its so petty but is he keeping his options open by hiding his status cause why else would he have it hidden?

Thanks for anyone that reads this and offers some advice in advance

-FeelingLost

About a week ago my uncle admitted to me that he had been flirting with a costumer from his job. She knows he’s married with kids. (Before anyone asks why, me and my aunt/uncle are extremely close they’re like my parents basically. My uncle has little to no friends that he trusts). He admitted this to me and that they’ve been texting/hanging out. I basically went in on him questioning what was going on with my aunt, if they’re in a bad place, separating or if he’s losing feelings. The answers were no to all of them and he loves my aunt. The conversation boiled down to that this was a stupid crush getting out of hand and he was going to cut contact other than her needing something professional from him since technically he’s her sales rep (I went in on him about this too.). He admitted he made a mistake but knew this was the time to stop before it went too far. Well Reddit he did not stop and he stepped in shit. Saturday he called me needing help with something and being super vague, he admits he has a huge hickey and needs help covering it up, after verifying it didn’t come from my aunt and putting two and two together he admits to never coming home from work and getting super drunk and “making a huge mistake” he didn’t admit it but im not stupid. He got drunk and spent the night. I told him I wouldn’t be helping him with this and I made the mistake of saying I wouldn’t tell my aunt, this is where I may be the AH. Well after basically bawling my eyes out and speaking to my mom I came to the conclusion that my aunt needed to know. If it was me id want to know. I texted him telling him he needed to tell her or I would and he blew up on me. He accused me of breaking his trust and going back on my word on keeping it to myself, he went in on me about giving him an ultimatum, ruining our relationship + hurting my aunt, he went in on me about “seeing my true colors” and how he couldn’t believe I’d be someone he lost basically turning it around on me like I’m the villain. I know I’m not in the wrong..I think. But his words really got to me and idk I’m heartbroken and lost, he did agree to telling her but I feel like a giant AH. AITA? Should i have stayed out? I’m just trying to stand by my morals and I don’t like cheaters and feel like my aunt deserves to know and keeping this secret is eating me up inside.

long story short, my birthday was yesterday, my partner and I had planned to spend all Saturday together, playing video games, kissing, sleeping, eating, etc, just a stay in date, thing is she had a busy week with school, which I understand, however when she asked me the Friday night if the date was still up she said “mm alright” and I asked if she did want to come, and said “I don’t want to, meh” and that was all, next day, just a “happy birthday” not one love you or miss you or anything, she had been dry texting for days, and she went to a concert my birthday day, I didn’t want to say anything during the concert, so I waited until she was home, and complain about her attitude, and the lack of excitement or anything like it for what was a very important day for me, she came back like a totally different person, dry texting was gone and said she felt finally happy, so when I bring out the lack of making me feel special as a partner during my birthday, she asked why I wanted to ruin her night, it ended up developing into a discussion and the final message was about how her night was ruined

If you have any questions following up this events please let me know I’ll try to answer them

For context, I am seven months pregnant. We live in the country and my husband was telling me that he had killed a couple mice in the basement. Nothing unusual and I had said I agreed since our outside cat was getting older that she’s not hunting as much and there would probably be more mice in the house this year. Then I just was saying casually that I don’t really mind mice. I don’t like them in the house, but I really would be bothered by a rat. And I asked if he’s ever had a rat here since he’s lived here for a long time. Then I quickly followed it up with if we had a rat here she could not stay here.

That was it that was the comment. Immediately exploded. I was so taken back by his reaction, it was like whiplash I didn’t know what to do. I immediately thought he was being unreasonable. He told me sorry this house is not good enough for me and I can go live with my mom if I don’t like it. And I kept saying no I was just saying if there was a rat here I wouldn’t want the baby here until we killed it. And he was so angry. I tried many times over the course of three hours to explain that I was so sorry and I didn’t mean anything by it. He said I was going to leave the house because the house isn’t good enough for him and going into a custody battle with him and dangle our child in front of his face. And I said I would never do that. And I tried profusely so many times to apologize and explain the context by my comment.

He said, I am totally violated his trust in me and he’s gonna start making plans to make sure that he’s protected and he will bury me in court because he has so much money and can afford a better attorney.

I woke up this morning, thinking everything was gonna be better and maybe he would feel bad about his reaction. He did not he was very cold and distant.

I don’t know how to fix this. I feel like I’ve just done something horrible.

I 21 male and my girlfriend 22 have been dating for a month. We've been mates since we were 16 however her and her ex have been mates since they were 13. They broke up due to him not treating her right and not letting her spend time with her family. I personally hate the guy I think hes a dick and an idiot. She knows how i feel about him but she wants to be friends with him even tho he still loves her. We had an argument the other day because he went to the hospital with a small pain on his side and he said it was due to "not pissing for 6 hours" I told her I dont like the idea of her being mates with her ex but shes an adult and can make her own choices. But to me im uncomfortable by it and find it werid. We've spoke about it before and she said she wont betray my trust. Today we argued again over him because he yet again was texting her as if they were dating and so was his family. I told her it makes me uncomfortable and so far everytime we've agruged its because if him. I dont know how else to get my point across that i dont want them to be friends but she clearly isnt getting the message.

​I need an outside perspective because I feel like I'm losing my mind and completely burnt out.

​My husband and I have been married for 13 years. Throughout our marriage, I have consistently prioritized his career. I’ve agreed to every move he’s wanted to make to support his job trajectory. Now, I’ve finally found a business venture I’m passionate about and want to start, but when I brought it up, he acted annoyed and isn’t willing to make any changes to accommodate me anytime soon.

​Here is what my daily reality looks like:

​Work & Income: I work from home and make more money than my husband.

​Childcare: We have two kids. Our 5-year-old daughter is profoundly disabled—she is blind, non-verbal, non-ambulatory (cannot walk, stand, crawl, or get dressed), and will require total care and diapers for life. We also have an 8-month-old baby. We have part-time care, but because of gaps, I wind up watching both girls during my official work hours. To make up for it, I end up working late into the night and on weekends.

​Household & Side Business: I do the majority of the cooking and cleaning, take care of our dogs, and completely manage a tiny house Airbnb we run. I get up before his work and make his breakfast and prep his lunch. Then I clean and start my job. I tend to the girls as they wake up. Then I usually have hell for 5 hours a day.

​His Schedule: He works a rotating schedule. On the days he works, he is out of the house for nearly 14 hours.

​I feel like I am running a marathon every single day carrying the mental, physical, and financial load of this family. When I realized I wanted something of my own (this business) and was met with zero support or willingness to adjust, something snapped.

Please note that he's not lazy. He will do anything if asked. Literally anything.The problem is, he will only be productive if asked.

I brought up divorce/couples counseling, and his response was just to get angry with me rather than addressing the core issues.

​I’m struggling to figure out if I’m missing something or if I am justified in feeling like this marriage has become completely one-sided. How do I navigate this? Has anyone been in a similar situation with a high-needs child and an unsupportive partner?

I understand this might sound really weird but please just hold on. This all started in about I'd like to say September, when me and my boyfriend were still just a few months into our relationship (for reference its long distance so we still weren't as far along as it sounds). We both struggled with pretty bad sleep schedule issues and would take naps for hours at a time mostly out of our own control. Since I had the same issue, I didn't really mind it. It actually made me feel closer to him knowing that we shared a lack of structured sleeping, however sometimes he'd feel really bad about not responding to my messages for hours at a time due to napping and express that he felt like a bad boyfriend for it. I told him that I understood why he was doing it and that it was ok for him to take his time messaging me as long as he got back to me as soon as he woke up and didn't leave me waiting for days at a time. After I said that is when things took a really bad turn. He started ghosting me for almost weeks, and would only reach out if he saw me venting to other people or on a public platform he happened to follow me on. And he didn't really provide much comfort or anything, he rarely kept the conversations going past a handful of messages even if I tried to initiate general conversations outside of the initial harder topic because I was wondering if the source of the issue was he just didn't like sensitive subjects. I was wrong. Eventually we hit now, late October, and I finally break the ghosting by talking to him and he thankfully replied. I came forward to him about how my dog had been suffering from health complications and that it'd been seriously stressing me out, and he offered to make himself free the very next day to comfort me and hang out with me. I got very excited because at this point I was still madly in love with him and very excited he was finally offering to talk and hang out with me again, so I accepted and waited eagerly the next day. I stayed up from 12 am to 12 am waiting. Absolutely nothing on the day he promised to make himself free for me. He didn't apologize and tell me he'd be busy, he didn't join me in any of the games I waited for him in, he didn't call me, nothing. Not even a text. This genuinely upset me but I brought myself to be the mature one and text him at around 9-10 pm "are you awake?". He didn't get back to me until 1 am and he just said "I am now." So I left him on read, and I played with friends instead now that I knew I was available. Since then my love for him has entirely faded, I can't even bring myself to text him and tell him I miss him or anything. We haven't officially broken up, but I'm genuinely thinking about it. Should I break up with him or would I just be the ahole?

I’m F19 and my boyfriend is M20. We’ve been together for 11 months and been living together for almost 3 months. We met online first and knew each other for years. My boyfriend has started pouting when I tell him he can’t touch me and tries guilt tripping me into letting him. He once screamed at me at the top of his lungs and dropped down to the floor crying with his face on the floor just because I said a girl was flirting with him. I catch him in the dark just thinking by himself a lot. I tell him not to touch me and instead he just does it when he thinks I’m asleep. Today while he’s at work, I left the apartment and went back to my home state without telling him because my family warned me not to let him know I’m leaving because he may hurt me. AITA?

My boyfriend (26M) and I (24M) have been in a rough patch since June. It is completely my fault. As much as I don’t intend on hurting him or our relationship, I continue to do. I never make the right decision, I always end up hurting him. He has been wanting me to go to therapy, (not that I’m against it because I did used to see one before we started dating) but during the summer I was between jobs and now I’ve just been so busy with my new job it’s kinda just been on the back burner. I am aware that’s also not good but that’s not why I want to break up. We had a huge discussion this weekend. He told me he wasn’t happy and hasn’t been for awhile. He says I hurt him and doesn’t know why he gives me more chances when I’ve clearly ran out of them… I genuinely feel so bad and I know I have so much I need to work on myself. I hate that he feels this way, and that I am the one that is hurting him. I know I’ve been such a bad person and partner. As much as I love him I want to break up with him so I can actually work on myself and not hurt him anymore. I’m not looking for an out or am I just giving up. I simply just want to stop hurting the person I love and be better. So AITA?

I (26M) was dating a girl (25F), we met through a mutual friend, went on a couple of dates and started a relationship, She is an amazing person and I enjoyed her company a lot, we would hangout whenever we could, all things were going great, She had a habit of posting almost everything she was doing during the day on social media which I never understood but couldn't care less about since it made her happy but I on the other hand am a very private person and don't see the point in posting anything on socials to show what I was doing, I only use Instagram and have never posted anything on there for the 10 years I have been using it though it's a matter of personal opinion not a rule.

A couple of weeks ago it was her birthday and I was busy due to work so I let her know in advance and we agreed to meet on the day after her birthday, on her birthday I called her and wished her at midnight and also sent A bouquet of roses, A sun dress and a very cringey note as her birthday gift.

On the next day when I went to her house to pick her up her demeanor was cold, answering in one word and being silent until not talked to, So I asked what is wrong, she kept answering in circles until finally she said that me not posting a story to wish her birthday was infuriating, I was perplexed and really thought it was trivial things, I told her I don't post anything and never have posted a story which only irritated her further, all in all this ended up in a big conflict and we broke up

Now, I was at a party with friends where the mutual friend was also present, she told me I should've just posted a story and kept the girl, we ended up discussing this at the party and the whole room was divided on this matter, I don't think I did anything wrong and it is a shame we broke up on such a trivial thing but I have to ask other people, am I the asshole?