The way people talk about misandry on reddit would have you thinking there are only 10 loyal warriors against it and everyone else is a misandrist extremist.

I am literally CONSTANTLY hearing about misandry on this app. When I ask where? It’s the same parroted subreddits that are either satire or vent subs.

Misogyny on reddit though? Everywhere. Big meme pages. Gaming subreddits. Dating subreddits. Circlejerk subreddits. Sports subreddits. Fucking news subreddits. Misogyny is so normal on this app that anything which disrupts the status quo is seen as “unfair hate on men” when there are quite literally subs which fetishise female violence.

There is no “double standard”. Men are receiving a fraction of the hate women on reddit have been getting site-wide for LITERAL YEARS. It took getting on the news for reddit to ban [r/incels](r/incels). Remember that.

Edit: Thank you for the proof in the comments. Appreciate the 10 loyal warriors popping in to say hi. The fight against misandry will be tough, but by God with you guys on the front lines the systemic oppression of men will be vanquished in due time. Sorry about hurting the fee fees.

Like, how do people donate to famous streamers on TikTok when all they do is sit in front of a camera and talk and will do anything for clicks and views? Like, how can you donate to famous streamers but aren’t willing to give the homeless any money? Like, these streamers are mostly all rich already. Why give them more money? How can people just sit and watch and donate to streamers?

Why are “child-free” social media people always so angry and in some sort of one-sided beef with people who have kids and kids themselves? It’s so strange and unsettling.

I know Reddit hates children so I know a lot of said angry people are going to show up to this post and freak out, but seriously, it’s extremely odd and just makes you look like you’re desperately trying to cover for some inadequacy you feel in your life.

I’m gay so I can’t just “go have a baby” like straight people, so I don’t really have a dog in this fight and this is more of an outside perspective, but the truth is that people who are genuinely happy don’t feel the need to run around and condescendingly remind other people about how happy they are and how their lives are so much better.

Child-free social media people almost feel this weird need to constantly brag about how great their lives are and are always comparing their life to what it would look like if they had kids. Like “WELL I SLEPT IN ON SATURDAY!!! I TRAVELED TO SPAIN THIS SUMMER!!!!! I WENT OUT WITH MY FRIENDS IN THE CITY ON FRIDAY NIGHT!!!! CAN YOU DO THAT?? HUH?? HUH????? HUH???????”

Like holy fuck just chill out. If you’re so happy go enjoy your life, why does other people having kids bother you so much? And why are you in a one-sided competition with parents to prove your life is so much better? Like, genuinely, why?

outside dating apps they dislike the idea of a guy chatting them up and asking them out because apparently it makes it look the man is treating them as a potential romantic/relationship prospect instead of a regular human being or whatever. They would like that men would get-to-know-them as people first, but at the same time there are tons of articles where women are dreading about the moment one of her male acquaintances starts soft launching into flirting, or even worse, confessing he has feelings for her. There is no middle ground here because a womans definition of a "guy friend who is about to ruin your friendship" ranges from someone who is a trusted bestie she has known for 10 years to the acquaintance she met at a concert last week.

It’s true that nobody owes you romance, and the same goes for friendship. You didn’t get what you were looking for, and you’re free to move on. If a woman asked me out and I turned her down, I likely wouldn’t wish to remain friends. Trying to maintain a platonic relationship with someone whom you know is into you is just going to lead to a lot of awkwardness down the road, and I would rather not deal with that.

Obviously, if you go outside, most men walking around with their girlfriends or wives are not exactly Henry Cavill or Brad Pitt. Especially if you go outside of any major city, given the obesity rate in the US.

However, the caveat here is they are dating women who do not have unrealistic standards, and are actively looking for companionship and to settle down. These women are rational individuals who realize that a man does not have to fit some arbitrary standard of 6 ft and 6 figures or whatever the standard is nowadays on Tiktok. And that is why these women are in relationships, and tend to stay in long term relationships because their expectations are rooted in reality and not fantasy.

However, most single men are not encountering these types of women on the apps, in clubs, bars, etc. because they're almost always in a relationship. The majority of the girls that are single for long periods of time are single by choice. They either have insane standards in what they want in a man, have an irrational hatred to the entire gender of men, enjoy the temporary validation of hooking up with more attractive men who won't commit, or they just enjoy the attention of entertaining multiple men at once. So, to your average or ugly guy on a dating app, he's not going to find the type of women who will excuse him for being a little chubby, being short, or not having the best style. That type of woman doesn't stay single for long.

Also, I think this phenomenon is why some people will seemingly deny hypergamy, because they see ugly and unattractive guys dating all the time in the real world. That fact doesn't excuse the reality that there is a good portion of women who do have unrealistic standards, and they are the ones who are most likely to be single and who your average guy is encountering on a dating app. The saying that the good women don't stay single long is 100% true.

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Whenever women focused subreddits like EvilWomanInc or BlatantMisogyny is brought up, theres always a guy talking about how if someone made a sub just to "bash women" like those do to men, it wouldn't last a week. but that's just objectively not true lmao

there are multiple mainstream subreddits in which the entire point of them is misogyny. ItsThatBad openly posts saying women shouldnt have rights and SipsTea often makes it to the front page.

I have never been pregnant by accident. I have had one intentional pregnancy and child. It is a lot easier than people think to not get pregnant by accident, and if I had ever done so, I would have had an abortion.

Because of religious hang-ups people genuinely think an embryo is a person in the same way a kid or even a newborn are. I look at my perfect, wonderful child, and I am glad he has a mother who can be her best self for him. Because parents who should have aborted and don't become abusive parents, neglectful parents, resentful parents. Children deserve better.

"They'll just give their children up for adoption!" But they don't, actually. Statistically most parents who say they would have aborted given the option chose to keep their children, regardless of the availability of adoption. There are thousands of children in the US living in squalor and neglect because of Christian piety that prevents sexual education in schools. People are careless, and I'd rather a person have fifty abortions than let a single baby die of neglect in a home. That happens, and it is preventable. It's not a hard choice. It is the humane choice.

It means those people don't know how to tell reality from fiction, the consequences of which are significant and devastating to society.

As a mom I’ve realized in online forums throughout social media sites along with in real life, society has become more okay with parents doing the bare minimum as parents and awarding them with parent of the year.

What I mean is parents willingly admitting they don’t know car seat safety so it’s not their fault their baby is buckled in incorrectly. Was research not done before you gave birth? My biggest problem is parents with phone addictions raising their children to be the same way, not interacting with their children. Taking iPads out to restaurants and family outings, propping up the iPad and throughout the whole meal not once interacting with the child because the parents are on their phones as well.

Mothers being applauded for “trying their best” while still smoking a pack of cigarettes a day while actively pregnant. Did you at least try to quit?

As a parent I worry about sending my children to interact with children that aren’t raised to know what boundaries are, respect, kindness. I’ve worked in elementary schools and it is heartbreaking to see how kindergarteners are swearing at their friends and teachers, know racial slurs and use them towards other children.

This may not be the best reference, but I have been watching some YouTube cartoons and at first you see the terribly drawn characters, but when you watch the shows you see how the writer was able to impart so much life and consciousness into something that looks like it was drawn by a 6 year old.

And honestly some of them are just soo good and relaxing and engaging to watch.

I don’t understand who came up with idea that kids, especially little kids say aged 3-10 need their own bedroom. I shared a room with my sister until age 13 and I loved it. Looking back on my childhood it was awesome we would have midnight talks, it was like a sleep over every night. Also my sister is younger so she would get scared and have nightmares and sneak into my bed for snuggles when we were kids. So many parents complain about kids not wanting to sleep in their own rooms well did it ever occur to them that maybe it’s because it’s completely unnatural for a small child to sleep alone??

Consider how humans evolved/lived for millennia. Kids always slept with parents or siblings, most living arrangements did not have individual rooms for each kid. Little kids sleeping in their own rooms is a complete modern invention that has nothing to do with child psychology, development or health. Even animals sleep with their moms and siblings until they are old enough to go off on their own. Mammals specifically cuddle to regulate their emotions and body temperature and to feel safe. Little kids don’t feel safe all alone in their own rooms because why would they? Being alone as a baby or small child at night was likely a sign of abandonment or danger for most of human existence. Sleeping with parents and siblings was safer as everyone could look out for each other. Instinctively I believe kids desire not to be alone when it gets dark and it’s time to sleep.

Now I understand not every kid is the same so maybe some really would thrive in their own rooms even at a young age but the consensus these days is that kids NEED their own rooms when they actually don’t. It is not a need for most kids the overwhelming majority would actually be better off sharing a room than being alone, especially if they are really young I’m talking ages 3-10. I can’t believe how parents force this on kids and so many act like it’s practically child abuse or neglect to make them share rooms. I see people arguing that not being able to give each child a room is a reason not to have another kid or that parents are not providing “enough” if each kid doesn’t have their own bedroom. Like I said this is a notion based on nothing but our individualist hyper-independent mentality it has nothing to do with what is actually good or necessary for kids well being.

Yes, it's expensive, yes we have a homelessness issue because it's expensive, yes we have high traffic, yes, it does get too hot sometimes and we have the occasional fires too, yes we have annoying snobby Beverly Hills type assholes.

Even with all that, it's still amazing to live here. You're going to be broke in other places too. You have hurricanes, tornados, and blizzards in other parts of North America. I've been to many other states and many other parts of the world and they don't offer what this region offers.

There's a reason so many people that leave here eventually come back. San Diego, and Los Angeles are elite next level fucking cities. San Diego especially. I know this is controversial to say here, but I even love Orange County. Our nature is amazing. As a Canadian living here while I miss having 4 seasons, I'm glad I'm not shoveling snow, but can go to the mountains to see it. Lifestyle is generally an active outdoorsy one, and there's a ton of attractive people everywhere. Your favorite band/artist comes through here every tour, guaranteed. Tons of hobby groups to meet friends and people to date. On hot days you can go to the beach. There's endless shit to do. Even Northern California can't compete.

Not saying other places are bad, they just compete. I think all the hatred of SoCal I see is just propaganda. You hate us cause you ain't us.

I feel like this should be obvious, but I feel like the apps/social media are the biggest issue in modern dating. Most people just love to blame the other gender instead.

Of course in dating looks does play a massive factor as well as job, where you live etc. However, the biggest issue in dating is the apps. The apps are designed to be cold, impersonal and money making machines. The apps encourage bad behaviour like shopping for people (gamifying finding love) and ghosting. Sure the apps can be positive in many ways, but also creates a lot of stress, sadness and delusion. The idea of the "Grass is greener" mentality is all over dating apps.

The other issue is social media. Social media makes everyone think they are entitled to 10/10 supermodel baddies. Where in the real world, when I walk down the street, I see very happy normal couples. Not everyone is a super model in real life. Lot of people only want the very most attractive people and would happily skip people for small reasons. Preferences are normally now exaggerated where people who may be interested in you are no longer an option as you want that really hot person who may or may not even exist outside social media models or movies.

However, most people go straight down the route of "Its all Men/Women fault" The amount of posts of just angry men I read trying to blame women for not dating them is insane. Like almost any dating subreddit has posts about how easy women have it and how women has ruined dating (which is not true). Even today I saw a post where a women was stood up and ghosted and the amount of just random hate was crazy she got from some guys in the comment. Tbh, it goes both ways as there are lots of women who comment how men are to blame, they are all incels and deserve to be lonely .

It baffles me and the misattributed blame lately is deeply concerning. I know reddit is mostly a giant Echo Chamber for angry and bitter people, but the apps and social media algorithms are the common enemy here, not the other gender.

I was quite possibly the only latino in my class taking AP AB calculus senior year of my high school while the rest of my Hispanic friends were taking regular mathematics and didn't attend college. I go to uni and AGAIN I was in the minority in all the classes I took. I see other immigrants succeed in the US (mainly Asians) and I wonder WHY us hispanics can't do the same? Hispanics don't promote education in their culture. We instead promote the idea of "sacrifice".

Our parents are immigrants that worked in agriculture their entire lives. They come to the US uneducated and work blue collar jobs to continue on this "sacrifice" tradition. They don't push there kids to follow dreams or to study in school, they emphasis sacrifice and the kids to the same after highschool. Many of my Hispanic friends were envious of me since I went to college, they blamed it on wealth when they didn't even try in school because of fear. If Indians are able to be delusional enough to uptake a 200k loan to study in a T-50, then so can hispanics.

We don't take risk at all, we are too scared and point fingers when things don't go our way. I always tried pushing my friends to take AP classes, but they don't because they are scared, its risky, and they intend to carry on this "sacrifice" tradition onto the next generation.

I like to try and encourage my fellow men on the internet not to be incels, because well, idk, I like to think all humans could have better lives. I also dont hate men because I am one, and I know lots of cool dudes who dont hate women. I think all people can be pretty great regardless of race or gender. I used to be really bad with women when I was younger so I thought, eh, maybe they just need positive reinforcement. Nope.

The more I interact with incels, the more I lose sympathy for them. I could give an incel or red-pill bro a million counter examples- both empirical and anecdotal- and it doesnt make a difference. I think the sad truth is that men who are drawn to this ideology just want an excuse to be a loser.

"It wont matter if I go to the gym, work on my social skills, dress better, get a cool skill, become funnier, etc, because women only want giga chads who are above 6 feet tall." They'll form an excuse for everything. No matter what you say they basically respond with some variation of "its genetic."

I cannot help but conclude that these people just want to be losers, and that they want someone to validate that. Its like a cult.

Anyway, most of them deserve to be deserve to be sexless if thats the attitude. Talk about self defeating.

Most nonbinary people are cool about it. But there is a handful of nonbinary people who seem to think presentation equals gender. I am a very butch lesbian, very masculine presenting and visibly gay. There have been several times in my life where nonbinary people continue to use they/them pronouns for me, even after being told I use she/her. When I ask why they do that they said it was because I “just seem so nonbinary” even though I’ve made it clear I’m not. I’ve been asked “why don’t you just transition?” Because people assume that presenting as masculine must mean that I’m actually a trans man in denial. Which is stupid and it’s disrespectful to masc lesbians and trans people. This has genuinely happened several times from different people, and I have heard similar stories from others, and seen lots of this stuff online.

I’ve also noticed that kind of person cares a lot about gender roles even in same sex relationships. They expect the masculine partner to “be the man” in a sense. Some people will get upset at their friend or partner for not fitting into strict gender roles well enough. I have seen several posts and conversations about this group of people getting the ick if they’re dating a man and he’s not “manly enough”, and vice versa for women.

When people who aren’t queer (who aren’t trying to be homophobic) misgender me or say something ignorant, after I explain or correct them they address me correctly. When trans people or other gay people address me they will do it correctly even if they need to clarify first. But some nonbinary people just have trouble understanding someone who doesn’t fit normal gender roles doesn’t mean they don’t fit into their gender. That presentation and personality does not equal gender. It’s very interesting to me that this phenomenon is even a thing. You’d expect nonbinary people to be super understanding of people who are gender non conforming. Most of them genuinely are! But the group that isn’t doesn’t make much sense to me.

If we protect ourselves by limiting the men we interact with, and don’t interact with men we don’t know, and are wary of the intentions of strange men who interact with us, we are prudes and misandrists and bigots.

If we don’t do that, and end up raped/assaulted/murdered, people ask what we were wearing. Or what our relationship with the person was. Or how much we had to drink. Or what we did prior to the attack. We are accused of being the reason that we were harmed.

So, what are we supposed to do to not get hurt? Like genuinely, what is the solution? It’s irrefutable that women are raped/assaulted/murdered by men at a higher rate than men are by women. Are we supposed to take precautions to protect ourselves, or are we supposed to be trusting of all the men we meet and give them the benefit of the doubt? What is the answer that makes it so men don’t get mad at us?

(For the record, I err on the side of caution. I have a boyfriend and friend group and I’m not looking for new relationships so I see no reason to interact with strangers, especially men. Lots of men tell me I’m a bigot for doing that though and say I’m a misandrist.)(but when I was raped by my ex, people accused me of not meeting his sexual needs, said I can’t be raped by him bc we were already in a relationship, asked what I did to anger him, or flat out told I was a lying slut.)

Most of the BS being thrown around right now all seems to avoid this concept... but it's going to be more normalized in the future.

People seem to think its gross or weak based on the same stereotypes that women are fighting against with men supposedly not seeing their achievements in the career field. Like if theirs 100 jobs available and 150 people, some gotta be doing something else. And if more women take up jobs, but then see men without them as a waste... you literally created that situation and don't see the result as attractive?

Who looks at a baby and thinks "yeah, that's a future rapist." Why should a baby who has done nothing wrong be thought of as a future criminal.

It also reminds me of a video I saw where a dad said "I am a father of two girls. I don't feel comfortable at their ballet and gymnastics practices because all the women there look at me like I'm a pedo. It's stupid. The only reasonable suggestion I got was to 'act gay'. This is the society I'm in. Can't be a dad to my girls at ballet unless I act gay." Which just as bad if not even worst.

I see many people taking it very seriously when someone, usually a music artist who is involved in hollywood, mainstream, or is a millionaire has something wrong with them. I dont know what you expect.

I have never once learned something about one band member from the group or some political history in a band and then just decided to stop listening to them forever because of that alone. I think people who do this want moral points and are performing socially as if anyone in the real world is going to judge you because you still listen to a problematic artist, as if you ARE the problematic artist.

90% of the time I dont even know the names of the band members in the groups I listen to. So I dont get why anyone would care unless they are seriously parasocial about a celebrity and want to know and judge everything about them.

I get it when someone is problematic, and their lyrics are "I did this in real life! I was problematic! I'm like this in real life but this is a song and im admitting all of my crimes in the lyrics! 🎵🎶" Like ok yeah now the art IS the artist. But bad people can make good music, just how good people can make bad music. And how many times does that happen..

They’re all complicit in our oppression. I don’t even know where to start. Private jets and their tremendous environmental cost. Millions or billions of dollars of wealth hoarded. People benefitting from à culture that puts humans on pedestals and for what? These people dgaf about us and are capitalizing off people’s naive belief that they could possibly get to “know” them.

And not just that, put breast size and penis size too. If all men filtered to what they actually wanted and then just swiped right on every profile like they do now, the average woman's matches/likes would drop to a mere fraction of what it is now. Most women would continue filtering the way they do and realize the pool they're aiming at is much smaller than the 10-20k matches/likes/ messages suggest. Less shit to sift through for everyone.

The argument I hear about weight is that it changes... but you can change your weight on the app too... so thats not a good excuse. No one is swiping right on a 350 lb person with the hopes they'll go to the gym and work it off for you, they swipe right because thats what they're into.

Or anywhere really as long as it's not scammy.

Every time someone visits Japan they ask me where the locals go. Like... do you actually want to grocery shop at Hanamasa and get a coffee at Doutor after shopping at an AEON mall in Yamanashi? Because that's my real answer lol

And "somewhere with no tourists" isn't a thing anymore. People from the countryside come to Tokyo and go to the same tourist traps as everyone else. Took my kids to a ninja cafe, which everyone says is a tourist trap. Honestly it was great. The kids got to do all this hands-on stuff and we killed a few hours having fun. Not sure what the harm is.

Tourist traps give people something to do. Avoiding them doesn't make you more ~authentic~ it just makes you feel superior.

the "school girl" aesthetic (plaid skirts, pigtails, button down, bowtie and stockings) is weird and anyone defending it needs to be investigated.

every year theres "sexy schoolgirl" halloween costumes, every stripper, bartender or waitress has stories about how pigtails get her more tips, and porn websites are filled with women in pigtails and bedrooms clearly intended to be that of a teenagers. I dont care if "but schoolgirls can be 18!", most of them aren't and you full well know it.