my boyfriend (M29) and I (F28) have been doing long distance for over 3 years. almost a year and a half in different continents, and 2 years in the same country but different cities. we finally both have jobs in the same city, in a third country for both of us, and just moved in together. here’s our first night together meal :)
i’m over the moon! it still feels unreal🥹 so here’s some happy story that it’s possible to survive long distance, and it’s possible to make it happen even in a country where neither is native. moments like this are worth every part of the struggle ❤️

Love is beautiful 🩷

Traveled from Texas -> Ireland

Ive been here about a week now and its just been perfect, everything i could've dreamed of and more. He treats me like such a princess its unbelievable! I love him with all my heart

I’m 32F and he’s 31M I went to Canada from US to see him. We met on discord almost 2 years ago. Life is great c: he makes me happy

I (M24) left her (F23) to study abroad. It was a very hard decision, but I thought I could do it. I got a very good scholarship, which I thought I couldn't pass up.

Now it has been nearly two months, and I simply cannot function. I cannot study, I cannot focus in class, I am so depressed. All I feel is this constant dread towards everything. When we call I am fine, but as soon as we hang up it's back to feeling absolutely miserable.

It makes it even worse that she's in a similar situation herself (although she tries not to show it too much).

Now, I just think to myself that no amount of money, education, or anything really is worth this pain. She has become my whole world and I need to go back to her.

I'll be jobless. People will ask too many questions. I'll be almost broke (since I spent most of my savings to settle here). But I don't care. I'll be with her.

I don't know if I'm making a mistake. I really don't know.

We were in a relationship for months and months before we dated and then met in person and spent a lot of time together. To be honest it was so natural from the “first” meeting. Just like I expected or better. But at the same time some challenges occurred and after a few weeks the “in person” gap felt and there were so many things we did by default that we assumed were ok ugh. However it was a great experience and I am so glad we took this step. Now we’re looking forward to the next meeting. How was your in person experience if you dated online first?

​My partner and I have been long-distance from the start (we were close friends for many years and recently decided to try being a couple), so we haven't had the chance to build a solid in-person foundation yet.

​He just spent 4 days staying at a close female friend's place. I was genuinely fine with it at first.

I have however been struggling with the long distance in general and told him about this.

On day 1 of him being there, I felt awful after work (for work reasons) and reached out to him via voice note (with a super flat tone), only to get ignored - he later said he thought I "sounded fine" and that he was probably too tired to notice my tone.

​Overall I had a crap weekend on my own. He texted me a few times, called me on day 3 because he probably felt bad that he didn't support me on Friday. Today (end of the 4th day) he told me about all the nice things he and his friend did together, which included lots of things he loves (cooking together, eating out, playing music he loves) and I suddenly didn't feel okay anymore, and told him I felt uncomfortable. I admit I felt a bit of a sore loser, especially since he insists he has 0% feelings for her and I believe him.

​Still, the discomfort is real. I tried explaining that my jealousy is just a symptom of the bigger issues: we are far apart, I felt unsupported on Friday when I was already feeling fragile, and I’m watching him share the exact kind of everyday intimacy with her that I wish we had. ​Instead of hearing that, he keeps probing the jealousy angle. He even asked: "If we lived together and I told you I'd go stay at hers, would you be jealous?"

​I didn't even know what to say. It depends on how secure I'd feel then, but part of me just wishes a partner wouldn't put me in that discomfort to begin with!

I also explained to him that my issue is not that I don't believe him or don't trust him. But that maybe he should have thought that sleeping at a friend's place for that long whilst in a relationship is not okay even if innocent. He started to worry about me being controlling and limiting his freedom. I don't think I am either of those...but do feel confused about boundaries and why boundaries which seem natural to me (not staying at a male's house having fun for days) don't seem natural to him.

​What's your stance on this?

It honestly blows my mind that it’s almost been seven months since Benjy and I found each other.

Seven months of getting to know each other, learning each other’s little quirks, laughing until we can’t breathe, figuring out long distance, crossing an ocean to be together, and making memories I never thought I’d get to make.

It hasn’t always been perfect. We’ve had hard moments, misunderstandings, distance, and days where things felt incredibly difficult. But somehow, through all of it, I’m still incredibly grateful that our paths crossed.

From a random Bumble match to Scotland, video calls, meeting family, countless messages, and all the little moments in between… it’s crazy to think how much life can change in seven months.

I don’t know exactly what the future will look like, but I do know that I’m thankful for the love, memories, and lessons these seven months have brought me.

Here’s to almost seven months with my favorite Scot. ❤️

So I'm in a relationship with a girl from the uk we are both bellow 18 and she has alot of mental issues and has been doing self harm alot ive been talking to her and trying to help her feel better and see what's wrong but she keeps doing it she keeps getting her stuff taken for hurting herself and the last time she had things taken she tried taking 60 pills of smt I wasn't told exactly but I made her tell someone so she could go to the hospital after getting out she stayed out till 12am and was drove back home by the police after getting then called on her for not coming home and they gave her phone to her parents and I have no way to talk with her and im worried if she tries to kill herself I won't be able to help her she's been gone since last Tuesday

I’m devastated. This very week I was suppose to be moving with their help. I just I don’t know how to feel okay with this. They pushed for it so hard, I worked for it so hard (legal stuff, moving logistics, saving money) I’m so hurt. I was so excited for our future. I know we had our differences but I was so happy to finally just focus on us. The busy mornings and quiet evenings. Cooking together, greeting each other after work. Hosting dinners, travelling together. I’m so heart broken. After everything I did to make it work, it’s like my effort got stomped all over along with my heart. The painful thing is, we still love each other, but I feel they’d rather remember me as a beautiful experience, than an uncomfortable commitment.

I would say that me and my ldr boyfriend spends a lot of our time focusing on forming a deep emotional bond rather than the physical intimacy. Since we are so far away, the only way for us to be intimate with each other is talking and deep conversations. We've gotten to know each other on a completely other level despite the relationship being quite new because we talk every day for hours. I was worried that we would run out of topics to talk about but that doesn't seem to be the case.

I would also say that the ldr has helped us maintain our independence and identities. We don't completely rely on each other to fill the time. We still have hobbies, friends, routines and our own lives!

I've heard from others that the honeymoon phase seems to last longer in ldr. Because you never get used to being with the othet person in the same way. When me and my bf get to see each other we are more present and purposeful with our time spent together. We never take that precious time for granted. We've never fought because of that as well, why waste the little time we have on that?

I would also say that distance really tests whether both people involved are truly aligned. No one would get into a ldr if they didn't want it to last in the long run. It forces both people to really trust each other and give 100% for the relationship to work. You need to put so much more effort into it or else the relationship will die out. You can't compensate the quite nights with physical intimacy.

There are obviously many downsides to LDR's but why not talk more about the positives? Distance can really do a lot for a relationship as well!

What if you have known her for 6 months physically, and then had to do LD - it's been over 1,5 year now - is that too short to keep a LD alive?

What makes you decide to break up rather than keep trying, especially when you can't realistically close the distance for another 2-3 years because of career opportunities?

We’ve been mutuals on Instagram for about a year, and in July, he came to NYC (where I’m from). He’s from Chicago and asked me out to dinner. We celebrated our birthdays together because they’re just a few days apart in July.
The connection was so special. It was the most fun date ever. The chemistry and compatibility were insane. We were both amazed and in awe of each other because he legitimately checked every box on my list for a future partner, and vice versa. I remember him telling me that we were going to fall in love by the end of that date, and he was right.
We spoke every day on the phone and spent so much time getting to know each other. Things moved fast because of how often we talked and how deeply we connected. When we first met, he spoke about moving to NYC, but while we were dating, he got a new job, and things changed. He became busier, and it was hard for us to navigate long distance together.
We saw each other about once a month. He came to visit me, and I went to see him just a few days ago. He told me that the more he falls in love with me, the harder it is to say goodbye. Long distance was really difficult for him. He expressed that he didn’t want to do it, but because he loved me, he was willing to try.
Ultimately, his needs weren’t being met, and honestly, I felt anxious all the time, too. It was hard for both of us, but ngl, if he had the fight in him, I would’ve kept going. Yesterday he told me how he didn’t want to lose me and I told him that’s no the same as choosing love. We had a game plan on making it work but apart of me loving him is seeing how hard it was for him and release him. We both know how different things could’ve been if we lived in the same city.
I’m heartbroken but also relived in knowing I’m not forcing anything anymore sucks we only lasted 3 months lol

I'm talking about healthy truths that are just uncomfortable, not things like cheating or some other toxic things like that.

While visiting home last year, I matched on tinder with a guy I've now visited the last couple times I've been in town. I don't normally go back home this often, but I'm interested in finding out how to make this work and might be open to doing so if that's what it takes. He hasn't come up to visit me due to car issues, but that's also in the plans - I just have more time to travel with my schedule overall. I live a good 8 hours drive or so from home, so it's a bit of a feat to take trips down but not impossible, and I certainly know people have made it work with longer distances.

Honestly I've not really done the whole distance thing before. This is really new territory for me. I'm not sure he has either. Given that we've gone on what feels like a whopping three dates, it feels almost too early to be at any level of seriousness, but what do I know. At present we text each other pretty regularly, but that's about it.

I'm going back home for part of holiday season to see my family and plan to also see him. I kind of want to have a conversation along the lines of "where do we see this going?" and "how might we define where we're at" but I'm not really sure if that's all I should touch base on. Kind of open ended "what's some advice you'd give for someone in this position"?

We first met when I was traveling in Berlin and he was living there, we then did 16 months long distance and after reuniting living together for 6 months we are engaged 🥰🥹 I can’t wait to marry him in 2028, we will have to do long distance again while we wait for our visa but we’re both so confident that we can do it once we can do it again and have such an amazing future waiting for us 🙂‍↕️❤️ hope this give hope to others that it does work out!

Me and my bf have been together for 2 months now, we met on a mutual server on discord and some people in his life so know that he's dating me, he's not told them much details about me though or shown them a picture of me, and even on the mutual server were on I don't know either. We've talked about having a future together, seeing each other soon, moving in together, kids etc. He's also told me he told his friends about me and that he's bragged about me to people on other servers, but he's not invited me to his friends servers or servers that he has friends/ talks regularly on yet. I went through something similar in my last relationship as well (i also met him on discord) where i kind of had to beg him to make it known that he was dating me and he also apparently told his family but didn't show them a picture of me or give much detail, but he had also said he saw a future with me. It made me question if my bf isn't sure if me or if he's not proud of having me as a gf, it also just made me feel like what is it about me that in relationships they don't wanna show me off? Maybe If I was prettier? Maybe it's the way I act? I don't get what I'm doing wrong, but it's been only been 2 months Maybe it's too soon?

I’ve been long distance with my gf for about a year and a half into college and the first semester was great, then 2nd semester I had bits of doubt pop up, now its my 3rd semester and I’m debating on weather to stay. We have a genuinely great, loving, and healthy relationship but I keep having this gut feeling that I can’t ignore. I keep trying to investigate it and figure out why, but all I can land on is that it’s my first ever relationship and a) I have a curiosity to explore and learn what I need in a relationship through experiences and a fear of settling for the first person without seeing what’s out there and b) I’m being influenced by social media, my parent, and people around me that this is a time in my life I should be single and exploring.

But I really don’t want to through away a good relationship when everything else is good and I can’t point to a specific thing that’s “wrong”. So a couple of questions:
1. How do you conquer a curiosity about other options in your first relationship without exploring?
2. How do you feel comfortable in a LDR when your uncertain about the future rightness but know now feels good?
3. How do you actively figure out if someone is right for you while a distance apart?