Hey everyone,

I'm a student who just started university not long ago and before I left I have been fortunate enough to meet the most loving person Ive ever met.

Unfortunately, given that we both chose different countries to study in and that we are still freshmen, there's no way we can fly and go visit each other often.

Right now, I'm planning a trip to visit her whilst I still have an OK amount of money lying around. She's really happy and we both can't wait to see each other again but I know that after this trip in December it is very unlikely that I have enough on me to do another one, meaning we'd have to wait all the way until August next year to meet.

It's going to be really hard. I just know it, and I think she knows it too. For those who have gone thru the same thing, how did you guys make it out? Was there a feeling you had that just tells you that she's the one? Anything would help.

Thanks to everyone

Hi all! I’m (24f) Currently in an LDR with my boyfriend (28m) for almost a year.

I live/work in the UK and he used to live here before moving back to our home country just before we met.

We had another long sit down conversation as to how we will eventually close the gap. The issue is he doesn’t want to come back to London because he didn’t like his time here. He visits me often but cannot see himself living here.

I don’t want to move back our home country because in the line of work I do, I would have to do extra years of schooling and would never be able to achieve as much as I have done here.

We have both decided to move to America in about 2/3 years as the idea agreed with us both. We both have familiar/ friendship ties there and hold citizenship there by birth so no visa issues or anything. I don’t think either of us would struggle to get decent jobs, at least ones to get us in our feet.

We have both often visited there but neither have ever lived there for a substantial amount of time.

All of this to ask, if you and your LDR partner closed the gap by moving to a new place/country for you both, how did you find it? What worked/didnt work?

Just looking for any advice as it’s a scary jump!

Thank you all in advance

I’m a 26F and have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about three years. Ever since we met I’ve had the idea of moving to his country. At first, it was like a dream of mine and he just happened to come into the picture.

A couple years later and we’re still together. It has always made sense in every possible way that I’m the one who moves (and he has made it clear he is not ready to do that or could do anything in my country due to his profession). But for some reason, now that we’re looking into the visa process, I find myself questioning over and over if I will truly be happy there.

I love a lot of his country. I have had the pleasure of visiting it many times now, but I have also seen and heard a lot of stories of people moving there and their struggle to find housing, jobs, friends, etc. and for once, I truly like my life in my own country/city.

If you had given me the option to move 2-4 years ago, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. But now… I’m not so sure. The thing is, part of me has always had that dream to live abroad. Yet, I’m soooo scared right now. I wonder if I’ll ever feel TRULY ready or if I have to do it despite not feeling ready.

I also know if tomorrow I woke up and I told him that I’m not ready (and I wouldn’t be in a couple of years) then I’d be seriously damaging the relationship. We’re both so tired of the distance. And I do want a life with him, it’s just the thought of me having to change every single aspect of my life to have that, that it’s not doing it for me right now.

I wanna hear your experiences and advice.

I’m in a long-distance marriage (10 months) with 12 hr time difference, and we still have about a year left until we finally live together. I struggle with anxious attachment and emotional dependency. Lately, I’ve been trying to understand how to manage it in a healthier way.

My husband is not a bad partner. He still makes an effort to stay in touch, calls me, and shows care in his own ways.

However, I’ve noticed some changes in our dynamic. Earlier, we had more spontaneous texts, snaps, reels, affectionate moments, and playful, effortless conversations. We also had a daily call, mostly by video on work-from-home days.

Everything felt very sparkly, and I felt very loved and chosen. Lately, our interactions have felt less spontaneous, and our calls have definitely decreased. Now, we usually have one video call on Sundays and two or three audio calls during the week.

Texting and other forms of communication outside our regular calls have also decreased. Even when we do call, the conversations can feel shorter or more routine. We have less to talk about now.

I also recognise that people get busy and have different communication preferences. He has had family issues recently, too. Those issues are better now, but they may have left him drained. People also go through different phases.

He is still affectionate sometimes, but the frequency of these things has changed.

At times, it feels like he is simply out of the infatuation phase, while I am still more emotionally caught up in it. I may still be stuck in that phase, which could be creating a mismatch.

It hurts because silence feels normal to him, while I feel an urge to fill it. I sometimes expect him to fill it, too. When he doesn’t, I become insecure and wonder whether his love is changing. Like I'm sensitive Abt teeny tiniest things that happen between us.

I’m also very hyper-observant. If he replies less or his reply seems less enthusiastic, I feel sad and anxious. Amid all of this, I grieve and deeply miss the initial version of our marriage, which felt very sparkly and full of affection and effort.

I did talk things through with him and told him about my anxious attachment. He is a very logical person, so he struggles to understand my attachment issues sometimes.

Still, he says that he is just a bit moody sometimes. He reassures me that nothing has changed and that nothing will change. He also says that I should become more comfortable with silence sometimes.

The difficult part is that becoming more self-aware has made me question everything. I’ve started measuring calls, counting texts, noticing who initiates, analysing changes in his tone, and wondering whether I’m asking for too much.

Instead of helping me feel secure, this awareness sometimes makes me even more conscious of every little interaction.

Deep down, I worry about being in a relationship while still feeling lonely because my needs are not being met in the way I want. At the same time, I know relationships do not always work exactly that way.

On my end, I’ve tried journaling and keeping myself busy with hobbies. I also try not to ruminate on conversations that did not go well or did not happen as I expected.

Sometimes, I try not to chase him. I hold myself back from filling every silence. However, it all feels overwhelming at times, and I sometimes become resentful.

I don’t want to depend on my husband’s attention to feel okay, chosen, or prioritised. However, I also don’t want to suppress my need for affection and connection.

I don’t want to become so focused on detachment that I stop enjoying the relationship. I want to work on myself without becoming emotionally distant or losing the playful, affectionate side of me.

For those who have dealt with anxious attachment or emotional dependency in an LDR, what actually helped you?

How did you stop monitoring every interaction, tolerate the distance, and build a fulfilling life while still allowing yourself to miss your partner?

Just a heads up I can’t get therapy due to some reasons , so I prefer advice on things I can do on my own to make things better for myself.

I have another year of long distance ahead, and I genuinely want to make this period healthier for both of us. I’m looking for practical advice

So basically it’s a link you send and when they open the link they have a whole experience/walkthrough ending with personal letters you write to wish them. Would you send them this?

I’m looking for some honest advice and support because I’m really struggling with my relationship at the moment, and I feel like I’ve reached a point where I don’t know how to move forward.

My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for over four years. He’s in the US and I’m in the UK. He’s not just my partner, he’s my best friend, and I’ve always imagined us eventually closing the distance and building a life together.

Things have been difficult recently, and we now haven’t properly spoken for over a week. When we do speak, the conversations are painful, and he has started threatening to end the relationship.

He keeps saying that relationships shouldn’t be this hard and that things used to be easy between us. I understand what he means to an extent. I miss when things felt effortless, too. I miss laughing together, feeling close, and not worrying about where we stand. But I also feel like relationships inevitably go through difficult periods, especially when you’re long-distance and trying to work towards a future together. I don’t think the answer is that things should never be hard; I think it’s about whether both people are willing to work through the hard parts together.

The original disagreement was about communication. He was going to be late, and I was hurt that he didn’t let me know. He basically was 5 hours late and I was worried about him and he didn’t communicate with me at all. For me, it wasn’t about needing constant updates or controlling what he does. It was about consideration and a quick message when plans change.

When I tried to explain why it upset me, I felt the conversation became about whether he’d done anything wrong and whether my feelings were justified, rather than trying to understand each other. This is something I’ve been struggling with for a while. I often feel that when I raise something that’s hurt me, the conversation turns into a defence of his intentions, and I end up feeling unheard.

I sent him a video that explained a relationship dynamic I felt I could relate to, where someone focuses on defending themselves rather than understanding the impact their actions have had. He responded by saying the person in the video was completely wrong and that my interpretation of him wasn’t accurate.

I understand that he might disagree with the video. I wasn’t trying to label him or tell him he’s a bad person. I was trying to find a way to explain how I’ve been feeling because I was struggling to put it into words myself.

Another thing that has really upset me is that he has said I have mood swings and that he tracks my mood using ChatGPT. I don’t fully understand what he means by tracking my mood or exactly what he’s doing, but hearing that my boyfriend is keeping track of my moods in this way has made me uncomfortable and hurt.

I can understand wanting to recognise patterns in a relationship or trying to make sense of difficult conversations. I’m not saying he’s not allowed to have his own feelings or talk through his experiences. But the way it was presented to me made me feel as though I was being monitored or analysed, rather than spoken to as a partner. Being told I have mood swings also feels quite hurtful when I’m trying to explain that I’m upset about something specific.

He doesn’t seem to understand why either of these things upset me. I feel like I’m constantly trying to explain not just what I’m feeling, but why I’m allowed to feel that way in the first place.

I know I’m not perfect. I can get upset, anxious and frustrated, particularly when I feel disconnected from him or uncertain about our future. I’m willing to reflect on my own behaviour and acknowledge where I could do better. But I don’t think having emotions or raising concerns should automatically mean that I’m being unreasonable.

Now, whenever we speak, I feel like the relationship itself is hanging over my head. He’s saying things shouldn’t be this difficult and bringing up ending things, and I’m left feeling frightened that the person I love most is going to walk away.

I don’t know whether he’s genuinely decided he doesn’t want this anymore, whether he’s overwhelmed, or whether we’re both stuck in a cycle that neither of us knows how to break. I don’t want to assume I know what’s going on in his head.

I just know that I want to fix things. I want to understand his feelings and frustrations, and I want him to understand mine. I want us to be able to disagree without it turning into a threat to the entire relationship. I want to feel like we’re on the same team again.

But I’m exhausted from trying to explain myself in different ways and hoping he’ll understand. I can’t fix our relationship on my own, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep trying when I don’t feel we’re making any progress together.

I’m not really sure what to do at this point and I have felt awful for over a week now…

I'm very unwell at the moment...and this is just how I like to connect with people... besides, all my music is free for everyone to do as they please with it. I don't make any money off of it. It's my gift to humanity and I thought I'd share it with you all.

This is a piece I wrote for my first love. Her name in Thai is Nok, which means bird. I don’t normally give too much of a backstory on my compositions, but this one is special.

We were 19 and I was living in the north of Thailand. It was my first time away from home (Thunder Bay, Ontario), and we were sitting on a bench overlooking the beautiful Nan River. The moon was so bright that night that it illuminated the golden hue of the surrounding temples... and she held my hand for the first time. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday.

I’m 34 now, and quietly, we have gone through life together. Even though we are both going through our own individual challenges, we love each other deeply, and I’m so grateful to still have her in my life.

We haven't seen each other in person in over 15 years...

So let me take you to Thailand, back to that night, the conversation we had, my feelings for her, and the life journey we are traveling through.

What if you have known her for 6 months physically, and then had to do LD - it's been over 1,5 year now - is that too short to keep a LD alive?

What makes you decide to break up rather than keep trying, especially when you can't realistically close the distance for another 2-3 years because of career opportunities?

Me and my bf have been together for 2 months now, we met on a mutual server on discord and some people in his life so know that he's dating me, he's not told them much details about me though or shown them a picture of me, and even on the mutual server were on I don't know either. We've talked about having a future together, seeing each other soon, moving in together, kids etc. He's also told me he told his friends about me and that he's bragged about me to people on other servers, but he's not invited me to his friends servers or servers that he has friends/ talks regularly on yet. I went through something similar in my last relationship as well (i also met him on discord) where i kind of had to beg him to make it known that he was dating me and he also apparently told his family but didn't show them a picture of me or give much detail, but he had also said he saw a future with me. It made me question if my bf isn't sure if me or if he's not proud of having me as a gf, it also just made me feel like what is it about me that in relationships they don't wanna show me off? Maybe If I was prettier? Maybe it's the way I act? I don't get what I'm doing wrong, but it's been only been 2 months Maybe it's too soon?

I’ve been long distance with my gf for about a year and a half into college and the first semester was great, then 2nd semester I had bits of doubt pop up, now its my 3rd semester and I’m debating on weather to stay. We have a genuinely great, loving, and healthy relationship but I keep having this gut feeling that I can’t ignore. I keep trying to investigate it and figure out why, but all I can land on is that it’s my first ever relationship and a) I have a curiosity to explore and learn what I need in a relationship through experiences and a fear of settling for the first person without seeing what’s out there and b) I’m being influenced by social media, my parent, and people around me that this is a time in my life I should be single and exploring.

But I really don’t want to through away a good relationship when everything else is good and I can’t point to a specific thing that’s “wrong”. So a couple of questions:
1. How do you conquer a curiosity about other options in your first relationship without exploring?
2. How do you feel comfortable in a LDR when your uncertain about the future rightness but know now feels good?
3. How do you actively figure out if someone is right for you while a distance apart?

my boyfriend (M29) and I (F28) have been doing long distance for over 3 years. almost a year and a half in different continents, and 2 years in the same country but different cities. we finally both have jobs in the same city, in a third country for both of us, and just moved in together. here’s our first night together meal :)
i’m over the moon! it still feels unreal🥹 so here’s some happy story that it’s possible to survive long distance, and it’s possible to make it happen even in a country where neither is native. moments like this are worth every part of the struggle ❤️

We were in a relationship for months and months before we dated and then met in person and spent a lot of time together. To be honest it was so natural from the “first” meeting. Just like I expected or better. But at the same time some challenges occurred and after a few weeks the “in person” gap felt and there were so many things we did by default that we assumed were ok ugh. However it was a great experience and I am so glad we took this step. Now we’re looking forward to the next meeting. How was your in person experience if you dated online first?

It honestly blows my mind that it’s almost been seven months since Benjy and I found each other.

Seven months of getting to know each other, learning each other’s little quirks, laughing until we can’t breathe, figuring out long distance, crossing an ocean to be together, and making memories I never thought I’d get to make.

It hasn’t always been perfect. We’ve had hard moments, misunderstandings, distance, and days where things felt incredibly difficult. But somehow, through all of it, I’m still incredibly grateful that our paths crossed.

From a random Bumble match to Scotland, video calls, meeting family, countless messages, and all the little moments in between… it’s crazy to think how much life can change in seven months.

I don’t know exactly what the future will look like, but I do know that I’m thankful for the love, memories, and lessons these seven months have brought me.

Here’s to almost seven months with my favorite Scot. ❤️

hello! it’s my first time asking for opinions on reddit so please be patient with me lol.

i’m a 20F in college and my boyfriend is also 20 in college. we’re both in college for music, but i go to school in TN and he goes in NY. we started dating my senior year of high school and we are now in our third year of college.

we had to first go long distance in 2024, and i remember it being a really hard adjustment. we’ve had some issues with it, but generally speaking, whenever i ask for him to do something better or change something he listens.

however, since 2024, i have been asking for one thing: little actions and reminders of love. i’ve told him that i need that sort of connection long distance because we have no other option besides phone calls. but even then, we are both incredibly busy. most nights we don’t talk until 10-11pm and we’re both exhausted and half asleep. conversation has not been great. so i need small things from him to feel loved from afar. some things i’ve done for him/asked him to do for me are send me a letter, mobile order me a coffee from afar, plan roblox date nights, etc. just small reminders that he loves me and thinks about me.

it’s been 2 years and he NEVER does it consistently long distance, and it’s starting to really hurt. when we’re together in person, he’ll normally do little things for me which is very sweet, but he rarely plans anything. i love him more than anything and when we’re together in person, i really feel like he’s the one. it just gets really hard to love from afar when i don’t feel like im receiving much. i’ve expressed my frustrations multiple times and he always tells me he loves me more than anything and that he’ll get better for me. maybe i should believe him this time? any advice?

저는 한국사람인데 레딧이 유명한 커뮤니티라고해서 와봤어요

Normally I’m not this petty with my IRL exes but my LDR fiancee is such a deep sleeper it’s driving me insane

I know he works abt 12 hrs a day, I’m also doing 12 hr schooling, we’re both quite busy but I think I have a lot more energy (I can still do activities after school but he doesnt)

The way he handles stress is also sleeping, meanwhile I handle stress by doing something and often sleep js for 4-6 hrs

I’m talking, when I call him he’s often asleep and he just wont wake up

We even tried an experiment, I used an auto clicker to call him repeatedly for 4 hours when hes asleep and he doesnt wake up

And when he does wake up, he would ramble abt something that doesnt make sense. Its almost like he wakes up from the dead

When we meet each other irl he also sleeps just as much. It wouldnt be as much as a problem if its not LDR, where sometimes I just need him and my phone is the only form of communication. I know I need to be patient. But I js want to rant

I (18F) have been with my bf (20M) for about 7 months now. We actually started off by having an IRL relationship, but when I got accepted into my university of choice, I moved 8 hours away. He’d become such a huge part of my daily life that now it’s bizarre only speaking to him through a phone without any real physical contact. I’ve been in a LDR in the past but this is different, since I know what’s actually missing from my daily life. I’m certainly really lonely and have communicated with my bf about my feelings. We’ve already discussed our boundaries and he communicates so well with me. I’m just finding it difficult not to have him around anymore, just his presence itself made me feel comfortable and calm. Now I’m kinda just depressed and shit all the time.

So I'm in a relationship with a girl from the uk we are both bellow 18 and she has alot of mental issues and has been doing self harm alot ive been talking to her and trying to help her feel better and see what's wrong but she keeps doing it she keeps getting her stuff taken for hurting herself and the last time she had things taken she tried taking 60 pills of smt I wasn't told exactly but I made her tell someone so she could go to the hospital after getting out she stayed out till 12am and was drove back home by the police after getting then called on her for not coming home and they gave her phone to her parents and I have no way to talk with her and im worried if she tries to kill herself I won't be able to help her she's been gone since last Tuesday