Please be kind to each other and don't hesitate to ask any questions.

This might be a weird thing to be proud of at 31, but I wanted to tell someone.

About a year ago I found four really pretty dinner plates at a thrift store. They're mismatched, but all have little blue flowers around the edges. One has a tiny chip underneath.

They cost me $8. I loved them immediately.

Then I brought them home and put them on the highest shelf in my kitchen.

For guests, obviously.

I live alone. I don't have guests very often.

So for an entire year those plates sat up there while I ate most of my dinners out of the same scratched bowl, usually on the couch or standing in the kitchen.

On Tuesday I got home late, heated up some leftover pasta, and started eating it straight out of the container while leaning against the counter.

I don't know why, but I suddenly looked up at that shelf.

I got the little step stool out.

Took down one of the plates.

Put my pasta on it, poured a glass of water, and actually sat at the table.

It was still mediocre leftover pasta. Nothing magical happened. I had to wash an extra dish afterward.

But it was nice.

Really nice, actually.

The next morning I moved all four plates down to the shelf I use every day. The scratched bowl went up top.

I've eaten off the flower plates three times since then. Yesterday I put a grilled cheese sandwich on one.

I keep thinking about how strange it is that I bought something because I loved it and then decided I wasn't a good enough reason to use it.

Anyway.

I know this isn't a graduation or a new job or anything impressive. It's literally just moving some dishes around.

But I thought maybe a mom would understand why it felt like a bigger deal than that.

I think I'm getting better at making ordinary days nice for myself.

Hi Mom. I'm so sad right now. I know this won't last forever, but I feel like I will never smile again. I've always been the strong one. But my strength is all gone. I was "managed out" of a good job, and I know it was because of my age. I could use a few kind words. Thanks.

hell yeah its a clean toilet. only problem is i don't know what to do with the brush now. i stuck it back in the holder without cleaning it because I didn't want to contaminate the tub because then i would have to clean that too

Passed all my teaching exams and will start student teaching soon! so close to earning my masters 🎉

I had to fill out paperwork for a new job this morning, and one of the boxes was emergency contact.

This question used to make me freeze every single time.

For years I either put down a family member I barely spoke to because it felt like that was what adults were supposed to do, or I'd stare at the form wondering whether asking a friend would be weird or too much. It always made me feel a little embarrassed, like everyone else had some obvious person waiting in their life and I'd somehow missed that part.

Today I just wrote my best friend's name.

No hesitation.

Then I texted her afterward to say I'd used her as my emergency contact and she replied, "Obviously. Who else would you put?"

I had to go sit in my car for a minute after that.

Nothing dramatic happened today. I didn't graduate, get married, buy a house or win anything. I just filled in a boring little box on an HR form.

But I realized that sometime in the last few years I quietly built the thing I thought everyone else had automatically.

I have people now.

People who have keys to my apartment. People who know what food I order when I've had a terrible day. People who will drive me home after a medical appointment, water my plants when I'm away, and notice when I've gone unusually quiet.

And apparently I finally trust that they won't disappear just because I need something.

I wish I could tell my mom this and have her understand why such a tiny thing feels enormous, so I'm telling you instead.

I filled out the emergency contact box today, Mom.

And for the first time in my life, it didn't feel empty.

Hi mom, I have been out of work for the last 3 years due to mental and physical health issues that I’m still working on getting diagnosed, but my treatments have been working well for the most part. It’s been a grueling process of tests and medications, and I’m honestly doing much better now, so I think I can be ready to go back. I got a job as a receptionist, which I think will be good for me because I can sit. I worked in food service before and it destroyed my back. Honestly, I’m really scared. Scared that my relationship with my husband will change because I won’t see him as often, scared that my parents at home will be lonely without me there, scared that I won’t be able to handle it. But I need insurance, and I need to help my husband pay bills that were falling behind on, and honestly I need to be less isolated. I’m really scared, but I’m also excited. I’m not ready for the change and a new chapter in my life, but I start on Tuesday.

Recently I’ve taken on the role of sole provider at home. Don’t get me wrong I love everyone in my family and don’t regret it per se. Ive been the type of guy where i had to “suck it up and deal with it”. (call it toxic masculinity or whatever). I don’t want my family to be like that. I want them to know that they can come to be for anything. So, I put on smile, act like everything is fine and keep going on. I don’t want them to think I’m ”weak” though I know asking for help is true strength. I just can’t have them think I can’t handle it or that they are a burden.

Today I ate 2 whole meals, i actually ate more than once today and my tummy doesn’t hurt. I had such a long stressful day and eating was definitely hard but I did it. >w<

I got a game! It's called path of titans!! I know it's not much but it's my very first purchase with my very own card!!!!

Hi Moms. I felt like I was getting sick yesterday morning and then early this morning (cold, congestion, respiratory like stuff) so I called out of work. And I feel guilty for doing that even though I know it’s ok. I can’t tell my actual mom because she’ll judge me or make a big deal about it or obsess about me “being sick.”
This weekend is my birthday and I’m bummed I’m not feeling 100%. I don't have many people I’m close to and no one to help me anytime there IS something wrong. Anyways I just feel lonely and like I always have to lie so everyone else thinks I’m fine.

I’ve been seriously thinking about it since I got laid off last winter. I’ve never loved my career but having to job hunt and start somewhere new has made it so much clearer that the kind of job I want will mean a full career pivot and a different degree. I feel a little bit like I’m running away because things got hard and school was always easier than real life but this isn’t a new idea either. I’ve been joking about it for years. The lay offs just pushed me to make it real.

I know I want to do this and that I can’t spend the next 35 years in a field I already can’t stand but I’m also so scared. I never imagined myself doing grad school or writing a thesis or starting over in my 30s with no support system or backup plan. None of this looks like the life I thought I would have.

I’m doing it anyway.

There’s a long road ahead of me full of applications and decisions and just learning how to be a student again. I know it won’t be easy but I’m making a choice to do something different and I’m proud of that.

No one ever taught me how to maintain a home and I recently got a cleaner to come - the place has clutter and stuff still it’s not fully organised but it’s clean and nice and I could really use some rules and routines to follow that I can apply to keep it like this. I have 2 pets and a kid, and ADHD 🫠 I know how to clean I know how to tidy I just don’t know how to create systems to keep it all going

It hasn't fully sunk in yet, I'm about to cry happy tears. I was only diagnosed with ADHD and Autism three years ago. And for the full standard school and 3.5 years of college I did, I struggled so hard. I would always be pushing myself to the point of breakdowns. But I went back to college to learn how to keep a business functional. So that I could actually start to make a living that works for my disability (got chronically ill almost 3 years ago and it has reduced my functional capacity by 75% of my pre-illness capacity)

My current course I'm taking is accounting. Math, of all things because math I never understood and the symbols and letters would always just disappear in my brain even though they were right there.

After getting diagnosed I understood why. I can't rely on my memory without there being proper anchors. I need to understand the underlying concepts of it and yes that meant I had to go figure out the underlying algebraic equations to have it all finally make sense and have proper analogies. To understand the why the things do the things they do. I can memorize names and labels well enough (usually need some sort of trigger to bring it up cuz I can't just poof it out of nowhere) but the how they do the things is so disconnected in classes. I have to go deep into studying on my own and I can't just rely on my teachers because they don't connect things. My math teachers words in 12th grade still haunt me tbh I had manage to get a 70% in a test, after pushing with my mom to help, teacher trying to help as much as he could, and a private tutor on top of it, I worked so so hard in that class, it took more than what I had and he had the gall to say "See, if you try hard then you can do it." Because apparently my 120% was just then trying hard.

And now in accounting of all things, I got a 100%. My luck shone through because I had just gone over some of the questions in practice, logic'd most of my way through it and remembered other questions from the quiz before.

But I did it. I got 100%. For the first time in my life. In an accounting course. And I didn't even have to make up let alone use a memory aid that my accommodations would have allowed me.

Hi Moms,

I need advice, tips and tricks for starting Holiday Traditions.

I just had a baby and I'm feeling stressed about the holidays. For context, I grew up with minimal holiday traditions nothing beyond the bare minimum and I want to do more for my child and make the holidays memorable and special. I feel overwhelmed as I don't know where to start. I know my baby won't remember holidays until they're older but they'll look back on the photos we'll take until then.

After seeing all the toxicity on reddit, finding this subreddit honestly made me cry. Reading all the achievements, support and kindness here made me feel better. Thank you to you all, beautiful people!

Long story short, my aunt was recently hospitalized again, and I'm living on my own again. I'm 21, and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I don't have much experience with cooking but I want to learn.

Ever since I've been on my own again, my diet has been pretty bad. I've been eating greasy, fried food a lot lately, and I'd really like to make some changes.

I was taught the basics, like making stir-fry noodles, burgers, chicken wings, and fried rice, but that's pretty much all I know how to make, unfortunately.

I'd really appreciate some recommendations for easy, healthy meals that a beginner could make. I'd also love some advice on what ingredients and groceries I should keep around the house.

Any advice or encouragement would be amazing! I also have to learn how to do laundry soon, so that's another thing I'll have to figure out.

Thank you!

All my life, I've tried to prove my worth by working hard, trying to do everything perfectly, through achievements and awards. In addition to this, I spent a good deal of my life not knowing I was autistic and was only diagnosed a few years ago. I've had to mask so much, and it's incredibly taxing.

Well, now I'm nearing graduation from uni and it's all crumbling. For a few months already, I've been dealing with autistic burnout and it's only getting worse. Daily shutdowns, can't do chores, can't remember things, can't make decisions. Can't see friends, can't go to campus, can't do anything I want to or need to because I'm constantly overloaded.

The worst thing is, I never had anyone in my life who understood my autistic symptoms, growing up. I was always told to suck it up, quit complaining, and stop making things up. I just want someone to comfort me. I'm doing my best, I really am. I just always feel like no matter what I do, even back when I was doing "objectively well", I'm never enough.

Luckily I have friends, a boyfriend, and a brother who all support me, but I could use a mom's support.

Flair says support needed but advice is also welcome.

hii!
i just recently moved into my apartment and due to it being pretty small i had to get a combined washer and dryer!
it works pretty well and everything comes out smooth, dry and wrinkle free!

how do i achieve the same with my jeans?
there is no other option to dry them :(
i dont have an iron because there is no space to store it!

Hi Moms, I think I just need a virtual hug. I won't get too into the weeds here but we have had quite the journey to sell our home over the past year and were supposed to close on our new home in a new city today.

We weren't able to close due to the most ridiculous calamity of events where everything that could go wrong has gone wrong during this process. I'm feeling so down and sad and just want to close on own new home to start our new life. I feel like this is the right house and choice but jeez this isn't supposed to be this hard. I was so nervous to finally get "a nice house" and questioning if I deserved it so having all everything going wrong makes it feel like I don't deserve something nice.

I've lost so much confidence in making choices. I am someone who also learned you need to be perfect to even try so having all of our ducks in a row and continuing to work through this bonkers situation is exhausting and is making me question myself. I am just wanting everything to be okay. Thank you ❤️

Hi mom,

I went to the cinema today for the first time all by myself. Saw a really nice movie (sense and sensibility) and enjoyed myself so much! I felt like myself again for a few hours. Life is sometimes struggling but I feel so proud I did this!

Hi moms!! I’m 16f and my whole life I’ve been SO scared of driving!! I’d even get scared just being in cars while my parents drove lol. I wanted nothing to do with driving, until my best friend started and i realized I really wanted to overcome my fear. I passed my permit test first try in may, then took driving lessons and have been driving a lot with my parents. I’m not even scared to drive anymore. I love driving, and feel so happy when I drive because 10 months ago I was so scared I didn’t even want to think about it.

Now..the anxiety is back! Although I feel comfortable driving with my parents, I still have to take my real license test. I’m super scared of tests in general, especially the idea of being evaluated/judged. The driving test is 20 minutes of being judged by someone right next to you! It’s terrifying to me! I wanted to just put off taking the test and just use my permit, but in a random burst of confidence I scheduled my driving test for November 17th.

I feel confident in my driving, but not confident in my test taking abilities. I’m going to be so scared the entire time, and be completely devastated if I fail (even though I know it’s not a big deal and I can take it again, it doesn’t help much) I know I’m going to feel so much better once it’s over, but until then I’m completely terrified and anxious.

I’m not telling anyone in my life that I’m taking my test (besides my parents) because I’m so scared to fail and have to tell everyone I failed, but that means I have no one encouraging me, since no one even knows it’s scheduled :(