This might be a weird thing to be proud of at 31, but I wanted to tell someone.

About a year ago I found four really pretty dinner plates at a thrift store. They're mismatched, but all have little blue flowers around the edges. One has a tiny chip underneath.

They cost me $8. I loved them immediately.

Then I brought them home and put them on the highest shelf in my kitchen.

For guests, obviously.

I live alone. I don't have guests very often.

So for an entire year those plates sat up there while I ate most of my dinners out of the same scratched bowl, usually on the couch or standing in the kitchen.

On Tuesday I got home late, heated up some leftover pasta, and started eating it straight out of the container while leaning against the counter.

I don't know why, but I suddenly looked up at that shelf.

I got the little step stool out.

Took down one of the plates.

Put my pasta on it, poured a glass of water, and actually sat at the table.

It was still mediocre leftover pasta. Nothing magical happened. I had to wash an extra dish afterward.

But it was nice.

Really nice, actually.

The next morning I moved all four plates down to the shelf I use every day. The scratched bowl went up top.

I've eaten off the flower plates three times since then. Yesterday I put a grilled cheese sandwich on one.

I keep thinking about how strange it is that I bought something because I loved it and then decided I wasn't a good enough reason to use it.

Anyway.

I know this isn't a graduation or a new job or anything impressive. It's literally just moving some dishes around.

But I thought maybe a mom would understand why it felt like a bigger deal than that.

I think I'm getting better at making ordinary days nice for myself.

Hi Mom. I'm so sad right now. I know this won't last forever, but I feel like I will never smile again. I've always been the strong one. But my strength is all gone. I was "managed out" of a good job, and I know it was because of my age. I could use a few kind words. Thanks.

hell yeah its a clean toilet. only problem is i don't know what to do with the brush now. i stuck it back in the holder without cleaning it because I didn't want to contaminate the tub because then i would have to clean that too