Got out due to Reduction of Service in 2016. Started getting disability in 2018. I just learned yesterday that I will have to payback my separation pay. Did I slip through some kind of crack? When will I have to pay it back?

So, I inherited my grandpa’s framed military flag. Don’t want it. He was an awful, abusive person. Service or no service, in the end he was abusive and I don’t want anything of his. No other family want it either. Where can I donate it?

I created a ID.me account about 10 years ago, pretty sure only to buy some merch off an apparel site (eg. Nike, New Balance, Oakley) then forgot about it until the VA started allowing it as a login option. Was kind of hesitant, but now I use it by default. And the VA just introduced another - CLEAR. Sharing personal data across so many platforms can't be safe, right?

Also how many months of "BAH" am I entitled to after graduation? Is it 2 months and is it automatic?

I want to know what are some of the best military one-liners you know? They can be MOS specific or general. For example as a medic we have a couple great ones; "We bury our mistakes" or "The louder they scream the faster we come"

Hi, this is kinda a throwaway account. I'm an SSG with 7.5 years in the Army Reserve, with one deployment to CENTCOM. My ETS is in March 2027, which is also the month I'm getting married.

I'm struggling with a decision right now. If I stay in, I'm guaranteed to deploy less than a year after getting married. If I get out, I can avoid putting my fiancée through another deployment, but I'd also be walking away from something I genuinely love.

I love being in the Reserves. It's always scratched my itch to serve, and my MOS is about the best damn job I could have for who I am. My fiancée of 10 years has said she wouldn't leave me if I stayed in, but that doesn't make the decision any easier.

I feel like I'm choosing between two important parts of my life: continuing to serve in a role that means so much to me or being there for my wife as we start our life together. Neither choice feels right because, either way, I'd be giving up something I love.

I guess what I'm struggling with most is figuring out how to make this decision without feeling like I'm losing a part of myself. How do you walk away from something that's always been a part of who you are, even when you know it might be the right thing to do?

Sorry for the rant. I'm just having a hard time figuring out what to do. Did getting out help you?

Did 4 years active duty, got out as an E-5, and I’m still in the IRR until 2027. A couple buddies I served with have been on me for years about joining the reserves. Never really considered it until one mentioned an open billet somewhere I’d actually want to be. He makes it sound like I could stay there and ride it out until retirement. How realistic is that?
Honestly can’t believe I’m even considering it. Active duty was pretty rough. I made a lot of memories and don’t regret my time, but I didn’t really enjoy it either. Going back would have to make sense.
The biggest draw is health insurance. I’m working toward building my own business and don’t want to depend on an employer for coverage. No wife or kids right now, but I’m thinking about protecting a family down the road. The VA already takes care of me, so a lot of this is about the future. My buddy mainly does it for health care and retirement.
A few things I’m trying to understand:
I’m 80% VA disabled. My buddy says he forfeits his drill pay, but I’ve seen people say taking drill pay and waiving the corresponding VA pay makes more sense. Anyone in a similar situation? How did you figure out which to take?
I’m under BRS and still have my military TSP from active duty. Would I contribute to that same account when I come back, or would it be separate? Can I put my drill pay into it, and how does matching work when you return?
I know I’d need another 16 good years on top of my 4 active years. How is the actual retirement pay calculated under BRS with reserve points?
How does the “gray area” between retiring and collecting retirement pay at 60 work, especially for health coverage?
I’m currently using my GI Bill. Would coming back let me earn any additional GI Bill entitlement or qualify for other education benefits?
Are there any VA options for covering a future spouse and kids at 80%, or would I need a different eligibility status?
Anyone here self-employed who went back into the reserves mainly for health insurance and retirement? Was it worth the commitment, and what do you wish you’d known before going back?

Posting this strictly for situational awareness for NYC veterans, homeowners, and co-op/condo owners regarding local benefits under NY State RPTL 458-a.

New York City is currently considering Intro 1051 (Int 1051-2026), which would enact the full New York State 100% Disabled Veteran Property Tax Exemption locally across all five boroughs.

Key benefit details:

• Coverage: Under NY RPTL 458-a(6), this exemption applies to single-family homes, multi-family homes, condominiums, and co-op apartments. For co-op owners, the property tax reduction is applied to the master building tax bill, and the co-op corporation is legally required to credit the savings directly to the eligible veteran's monthly maintenance fees.
• Fiscal Analysis: The Council Finance Division's official Fiscal Impact Statement estimates an annual city cost of ~$12.9M covering approximately 2,058 eligible households, with $0 in administrative costs.
• Committee Hearing: The joint committee hearing was held on October 21st.

If you want to track the bill text, co-sponsors, and discussion, there is a full live tracking thread over in the r/VeteransBenefits subreddit (search for "NYC 100% Disabled Veteran Property Tax Exemption"). You can also view the official legislative record directly on the NYC Council Legistar portal under Int 1051-2026.

I was medically separated in 22, and now find myself closing my business because private reasons with a business partner and just finances. Bad economy, blah blah. Unfortunately my mil career doesn’t have a super useful civ translation and I also don’t really want to do it again because my condition. But I would IF that keeps food on my families plate. - Electronic Warfare.

I know it’s a rough market, but I have numerous certifications, a bachelors and lots of experience in high level work. Yet 1 bite in over 100 applications that I genuinely qualify for. Maybe not perfectly - but enough that I feel a conversation would make sense.

Any advice?

I’ve tried gov, private sector, big and small businesses and more.

Thanks all

My anxiety and depression are really weighing on me on top of finances. Struggling to fall asleep, even an anti anxiety tablet didn’t fully knock it out. I just wish someone would hire me. I promise I’m too broken and defeated to care if it’s shitty. Just pretend I’m dumb teenager at this point and abuse me as long as it pays at least 15 an hour I have weed to help me cope. I can fill multiple resumes for multiple skill sets but none of that shit pays your bills.

Hello I’m a 25 year old army veteran and I used my Gi bill for an online school for 13 months unfortunately & I ended up getting kicked off due to lack of completion. I have 22 months & 15 days left am I truly fucked?

I’m interested in IT - but I read that hvac is high in demand and better for employment opportunities but idk. What should I do? Should I go to trade school instead? If so, what trade schools near north brunswick/New Brunswick NJ do you recommend?

I also qualified for VR&E but ended up not going with the chosen program because the rep I had assigned to my case was barely communicative. Should I try to use VR&E instead ? I’m 60% disabled

How does one kinda leave the military life behind? It seems to be the only interesting thing about me. I overcame a lot of challenges but now any job doesn’t have that same effect if that makes sense. A lot know your job, rank / role kinda become your identity when you’re in and now I just feel like a shell of who I used to be. Anyone have any tips to kinda move on?

So for context I’m attending a community college and am using the Montgomery GI bill, the problem is that my classes start at different times. Some are 16 weeks long, some are 12 weeks long and some are 8 weeks long. The problem is that since they start at different times I’m not getting my full benefits which is frustrating because I’m ending up about 3/4 of my tuition out of my own money how do I fix this cause I need my tuition payed for.

These are hard times, but I was hoping to put this out earlier. If anyone sees this I know these times are tough and for whatever reason why you are going through it, just know everything will be ok.

I had a talk with someone about work ethic and where I found it and sometimes its hit or miss, but most people I met when I was in have a greater work ethic than everyone around them that didn't serve and there were points where I was a little burnt out and wish I had someone to talk about this.

Fast forward a couple years later and realized how much it meant when I said it out loud to another Vet I know and said "your are doing a great job keep it up", and they felt appreciated. To all of those out there that read this, just know it will be ok especially when it does not feel like it.

Seriously weighing just walking away and letting the bank take my house. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve lived in a car so I’m not really bothered by the idea. I figure I could maybe find a campground to stay at. Just wondering if there is a certain amount of time post foreclosure I would need to wait to get another mortgage eventually. I wish someone would hire me but I’m not optimistic at this point. I’m over 40 which unfortunately seems to make me seem less desirable for employers.

Title: Veterans, how would you feel about a college professor constantly portraying military life negatively?
I’m currently working on my bachelor’s degree in social work, and something has been bothering me throughout the semester. I wanted to get opinions from other veterans because I’m starting to wonder if I’m taking this too personally.
For some background, I grew up as a military brat, served in the military myself, and previously worked as a mental health tech at a psychiatric hospital that had a military unit. I worked directly with service members and helped facilitate groups. I loved working with that population. My professor also worked at the same hospital, but as a therapist.
Throughout the semester, whenever he brings up the military, it’s almost always negative. Recently, he described the military as a bureaucratic nightmare, talked about service members essentially selling their souls to the government, and how they no longer have control over their own lives.
One example that really bothered me was his discussion about taking leave. He talked about how complicated the process is, all the steps involved, and how someone could have a dying parent and still be told they couldn’t go home. The way he described it made it sound like the military has absolutely no compassion for its members.
I understand there are procedures and that emergency leave isn’t automatically guaranteed, but in my experience, I’ve never personally known someone who couldn’t get home during a family emergency, even while deployed. I’m sure others have experienced differently, but I also know there are processes in place for these situations. The military is made up of people too, including leadership who have families and understand what it’s like to lose someone.
He also mentioned in a previous lecture that some social workers consider working for the VA an easy route or selling out because veterans already have so many resources available.
What bothers me is that so much of his perspective seems to come from working with military members receiving psychiatric treatment. I’ve worked with that same population, and while many genuinely struggled with trauma and mental health issues, others were unhappy with military life and looking for ways out. Sometimes those things overlapped. I just don’t think those experiences should be used to represent everyone who serves.
I’m not saying the military is perfect. I served, and I know firsthand that it isn’t. There are terrible leaders, unnecessary procedures, and situations that could have been handled much better. But there are also good leaders, opportunities, friendships, and experiences that can positively change someone’s life.
I’m sitting in college today using benefits I earned through my service. The military played a big part in getting me where I am, and despite the negative experiences I’ve had, I can still recognize the good that came from it.
I think what frustrates me most is that he doesn’t really invite discussion or acknowledge that experiences vary. He gives his examples as part of the lecture and moves on. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there wanting to challenge some of what he’s saying but also not wanting to create tension or have it affect how I’m viewed as a student.
It’s honestly gotten to the point where I’m starting to disengage whenever he brings up the military, and I hate that because I genuinely enjoy what I’m studying.
I’m not looking for everyone to defend the military. I know plenty of veterans have had awful experiences, and I respect that. I just feel like there’s a difference between acknowledging the military’s problems and repeatedly portraying the entire institution as terrible.
For those of you who served, what do you think? Am I letting my personal connection to the military influence how I’m interpreting his comments? Have you encountered similar attitudes in college or civilian workplaces?
Would you say something, or would you just let it go and finish the class?

EDIT/UPDATE:
First, thank you to everyone who took the time to comment and share their experiences. I honestly wasn’t expecting this many responses, and with all the comments coming in, I haven’t been able to respond to anyone individually. I have been reading through them, though, and wanted to address a few things.
I think some of what I was trying to say got lost in my original post, and maybe I could have explained myself better.
I’m not saying the military is perfect or that my experiences represent everyone else’s. I’ve experienced both the good and the bad. I’ve dealt with poor leadership myself, experienced things that have stayed with me long after my service, and witnessed other service members go through difficult situations. I’ve also worked directly with military members receiving psychiatric treatment, so I’m not unfamiliar with some of the struggles people have shared here.
Some of you mentioned terrible leadership, being denied leave during family emergencies, mental health struggles, and feeling let down by the military. I have experienced or witnessed some of those things myself. Others, like being denied emergency leave, are things I haven’t personally encountered. Reading those experiences has given me another perspective, and I appreciate that. Just because I haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.
I also agree with many of the concerns raised about recruitment, leadership, and the military industrial complex. I don’t believe someone has to serve to criticize the military, and I’m certainly not trying to defend every decision or policy the military makes.
But I think the biggest part of my original post that got overlooked was the setting in which these conversations are happening. I’m sitting in a social work classroom, surrounded by future social workers.
My concern isn’t simply that my professor has negative opinions about the military or that his comments personally offend me. It’s that when he discusses military members, the examples are almost always negative. Some of my classmates have never served, may not have military family members, or have very little understanding of military culture. For some, these lectures may be one of their few exposures to what military life is like.
I worry about the impression that leaves, especially when some of these students may eventually work with active-duty service members, veterans, or military families. If they’re consistently hearing about the military as this terrible institution where members have no freedom, leadership doesn’t care, and everything is a bureaucratic nightmare, what kind of understanding are they developing about the population they may eventually serve?
And that’s where I struggle with how these examples are being presented. My professor worked with military members in a psychiatric setting, and those experiences are valid. I worked with that population as well. But we were seeing people during some of the most difficult periods of their lives. That doesn’t mean their experiences weren’t real, but it also doesn’t mean they represent everyone who serves.
We’re constantly learning about cultural competence, recognizing personal biases, using a strengths-based perspective, and understanding people within their environments. I feel like those same principles should apply when discussing military populations. Recognizing the struggles is important, but so is recognizing resilience, community, opportunities, positive leadership, and the strengths that people bring from their military experiences.
I know my own experiences influence how I see the military too. Several of you challenged me to reflect on that, and I think that’s fair. I’ve never claimed to be without bias, and I’m still learning. That’s part of why I wanted to hear from other veterans in the first place.
I also appreciated the conversations about VA resources and benefits. Having resources available doesn’t necessarily mean they’re accessible, easy to navigate, or enough to meet someone’s needs. That’s something I’ve experienced and witnessed myself, and it’s part of why I’m pursuing social work.
At the end of the day, I wasn’t asking anyone to defend the military or agree with me. I wanted different perspectives, and I certainly got them. I still believe there’s a difference between discussing the military’s problems and repeatedly presenting military life through negative examples without much acknowledgment of anything else.
Again, thank you to everyone who shared their experiences. I may not agree with everything, but I’ve appreciated reading the different perspectives. Some made me reconsider things, others reinforced concerns I already had, and several gave me something new to think about.
I think that’s the kind of discussion I was hoping for in the first place, especially in a social work classroom.

20+ years in the Marines and still serving. Unit PT gives you structure. Training on your own time is harder.

On my own time, I either did too much or nothing. So I built a simple plan.

• 4 days a week. Upper body, lower body, upper, lower.
• 4 exercises a day. 4 sets each.
• 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off at first.
• 2 minutes rest between exercises.
• About 21 minutes with warm-up and cool-down.

Every few weeks I add time: 30 on, 15 off, then 40 on, 20 off.

It works with dumbbells or just your body weight. No gym needed.

The structure is the point. Same days, same plan. You just show up.

How are other vets staying consistent on their own?

The VA is saying they’ve sent my tuition payment to my school, but my school is saying they haven’t received it. I’m still getting my housing stipend, but my school used my Pell Grant to cover my tuition in the meantime. Now I’m waiting for the VA payment to go through so my school can refund me the $3,000. Has anyone else dealt with this before?

I was in Bagram/Kandahar around 2009. Supply was always providing us with rip it energy drinks, and this honeybun. This was the best honeybuns I’ve ever had. It was not a nationwide brand. They were definitely regional. Does anyone remember the company name? Or what area they were made in? I feel like it was Pennsylvania or a neighbouring state, but I could be wrong.

I was sleeping 3-5hrs a night for the last 20 years while in the navy / in navy training programs (got credit for 12 years AD though was in navy training for 8 years prior). I've been out 3 months and now I'm sleeping like 10hrs+ a night. Has this happened to anyone else? I was taking a break before working again; maybe I just need to get a job lol.

ETA: also having lots of vivid dreams about joining again, then waking up kind of sad that the door is closed now (I doubt I'd pass MEPS again to rejoin at my age/w my issues). It's weird bc all I wanted the last few years was to get out. But I also am thinking/hoping my body is recovering in the most necessary way rn, which is literally why I was taking time off before working again.

Hello everyone, I’m about to finish my undergrad and do my grad school online at Miami, how does the BHA work for online grad schools since normally you’re only taking 2 classes at a time? Also at Miami for this MBA semesters are 7 weeks. Will I be able to even rate the online rate with the GI bill? A full time schedule here is also 9 credit hours.

I’m hoping the answer is yes as I changed majors during Vocational Rehabilitation. It created a 1200 dollar debt that I have no hope of paying off. I can’t even afford groceries like I have 1200 dollars lying around. No one will hire me and it’s taking a toll mentally.

I am living abroad and am about to start looking for remote worldwide work. Are there any veteran job boards or resources to help land a remote job? Have a BS in computer science but am open to anything. And if anyone personally knows of a company or opportunity, please let me know as well. Thank you 🙏