I graduated high school in 2015. I grew up in San Diego, California. And the town I grew up in near the coast Encinitas beautiful place loved living there had had a great time. My family was not rich. We were just middle-class. we moved Encinitas in 1999 and it was a time where back in the late 1990s homes were much cheaper in SoCal. But I’d say the neighborhood we moved to was just a regular middle-class neighborhood. However, the school I went to high school at La Costa Canyon. In a very affluent neighborhood, the people who live there I wouldn’t say were like super rich like there weren’t mansions everywhere. But they were definitely affluent upper middle class. Most people live here had white collar jobs, high-level business professionals, lawyers, Scientists, The type of people who probably hung out at the country club. I’d say they were upper middle-class to wealthy but not like millionaires. Not like millionaires.
So I was diagnosed being on the spectrum when I was six back in July 2003. So I since I was in first grade. I had an IEP, but during elementary school, I felt pretty included. I was in general Ed classes with the regular kids. I made a lot of good friends. The special ed services I did get was this place called the learning resource center, which was a place I would go. get help from aids and tutors, and it worked a lot. And the teachers, I had both in special ed and in general Ed we’re both very supportive of me. They believed in me a lot. Things were going really good until I finished elementary school and entered middle school.
Then once I started middle school, I was still getting the same thing thing I was still in general lead classes among the mainstream kids. I would go to the learning center or in middle school. They called an academic support. To get tutoring and help with the work from other classes. And I guess the problem I had was mostly like I started struggling with math when I was in fourth grade and we started doing fractions. Although I always struggled with math, I started struggling as early as like second grade. But I was able to keep going forward but then third grade when I got to division is when it got hard.
But once I entered high school, in august 2011 that’s when things totally started hitting the fan. And things got completely off the rails my first year of high school. I was putting in this program, called the transitional alternative program a total joke. It was like for kids with very severe disabilities. And they were making me start over like I was getting work that was like additions and subtraction. multiplication. And goals my manager, saying that I would learn to do my cursive or sign my signature. They were giving me words puzzles in 9th grade. There were two general ed classes I did have. One was a science class the other was an English class. beginning of my freshman year and I really liked it I felt I learned a lot in the class. And I thought I was doing pretty well from like the first few tests. I did pretty good on. But then two months in to my freshman year. I found it I was flunking the class and then my case manager started telling me that the class was too hard for me and that she was going to take me out. And put me in remedial courses that were taught. And I didn’t wanna do that. I thought it was offensive. And I told her I really like the class I’m in. this woman was just not a nice person. She always wanted to think she was right. She was never willing to listen to anyone’s descent. If you disagreed with her, she get really hostile. And my question is why why asking that you want to take these classes make her lose her shit.
So after that, my father went to one of the IEP meetings with her and he said well if my son wants to be in these mainstream classes, let them be in there. She never listened because she said that the whole team couldn’t agree, but I don’t know. I’m pretty sure that if the parents say no, then that should be it. And then afterwards. Like my mom and I literally asked for assistance and I was working my tail off to stay in these two classes. They didn’t do anything. They didn’t give me an aid, a note taker, any assistance. To help to pass, and then eventually they took me out of those 2 classes that I enjoyed, I was devastated.
My entire freshman year, I was miserable because I felt like I was being used as a useful idiot. And I was getting work that was early elementary level. I went home practically once a week crying. I had trouble sleeping at night, because I was so angry that they didn’t want to listen to me. And it wasn’t like I was some lazy kid, who felt entitled. No, I wanted to be challenged. I wanted to do the harder work that was grade level. They were the ones putting in all the roadblocks. Anytime, I tell him I want to take this class they’d say no. It was totally demoralizing.
So after that, they put me in these remedial classes where they were giving me like work that was like at grade level, but it was done in a slower pace. And eventually, I got out of that program the transitional alternative program. In the middle of my sophomore year.
And I got a change in case manager and I was put back into the program that was similar what I had in elementary school program for students with normal learning disabilities. Things get better. I eventually got to take General Ed classes. My junior and senior year. But it was not easy. I had to fight like crazy like work, my ass off to prove them wrong that I was capable of being in there. My junior, I had a general lead history class and I took biology General Ed. But I was in remedial English and a remedial algebra class. And then my senior year when I said that I wanted to be in chemistry and I wanted to take Spanish they both all like sayed no way. Ian’s even though I sucked at math I wanted to take civil engineering as an elective. In my case manager, when I told him I wanted to take it he called what I wanted to do “delusional”. and it just seems unfair. Like, can’t they look at the fact that they care like that they’re passionate about wanting to be in there and they’re interested and if they’re willing to work hard and put in the effort. Doesn’t that matter the most? it’s like they kept using my math struggles as a weapon against me. My whole idea is, I think a better system is exposure and learning things which is the goal of education who cares about the stupid tests. Like it’s like trying to make it like living in North Korea.
It wasn’t as restrictive when I got out. I got a lot more freedom to be in mainstream classes. Then I did when I was in the previous program. It was a great improvement but still. There were still obstacles and limitations on what courses allowed to me is offensive. You can’t do that to kids. That’s the whole reason you take classes in the first place is to learn things. You shouldn’t have a team from above deciding over you. Like in China or The Soviet Union. Like it’s literally the exact was Russia opperated under communism it was a needs based system your wishes and dreams didn’t matter. They handed you a job based on Warrior current skill level was at and that’s it and if you were to take it, they’d send you to a cold Siberian prison. the individual had no choice. This is exactly what they’re doing.
Like they shouldn’t put so many restrictions I literally posted on an education form a couple months ago. And got into a bunch of arguments. People were saying that we should never ever let a child decide their educational path because their kids. That’s what this one girl said she said that if we did that they just drop out of school immediately. Another person said “ if you cant do the work, you got no business being in that class no matter how much you think you’ll enjoy it”. I’m like seriously do they have to act like I’m a bad person for saying that kids should have variety we shouldn’t be limited into what horses they want. It just seems like common sense to me. Here’s my grand idea if the kid likes the class they feel the information they’re gaining is useful to them and then so what leave them alone. Let them pursue the path they want not have somebody from the top down deciding everything. I flunked classes when I was in college, and I retook them. Same thing for high school. If the kid fails the class, let them take it again don’t downgrade their work. Why am I being talked down on Reddit? Like I’m some crazy person who escaped from a mental asylum. I’m just Saying my experience, and how I think kids In special ed and kids with IEPs should be given the same choices. In the classes they want to take as the kids in general do. Not lock them in an environment where they’re gonna make them feels like their world and life is gonna be limited.
Because at the end of the day, the worst thing you can do to a kid I think is destroy their self-confidence. It’s the worst form of abuse.