Last night was the Ballon D'or ceremony which is the biggest football (soccer) awards ceremony of the year. Think the Academy Awards but for football. There are various different awards but the two 'main' ones are Men's winner and Women's winner. This year Alexia Putellas won the women's award, with Harry Kane winning the men's.

The comments online about and during the acceptance speeches are STARK. Men online complaining about Alexia's speech being "too long" , "omg she won't shut up", "Ballon D'or for talking". When Harry Kane was speaking "YES HARRYYYY" .

She spoke for 6 minutes 50 seconds in 3 different languages
He spoke for 10 minutes 45 seconds in English

Yet Alexia is the gabby one.

Just a reminder that you can be voted as being literally the best in the world at what you do, be handed a golden trophy on a stage, only for men to still complain "omg she talks too much" when you're getting your moment to speak.

TW: Deep fake, non-consensual, minor at time of incident.

I'm lost for words. I don't know what to say. The whole thing is just disgusting from the start to the finish and what the court ended up deciding is just the cherry on top of this horrible thing.

The girl's life is ruined. She is never going to fully recover from seeing what she saw. Of what he did.

I am so mad!

Not to mention neurodiversity was used as a reason to not sentence as harsh. That hurts every neurodiverse person, being on the spectrum it makes this whole thing even worse.

I have lost 30lbs since mid May. Starting out I was at 335lbs and now I am 305lbs. I am trying to recover from my binge eating disorder and lose weight. I am working with a psychiatrist, bariatric doctor, and therapist. I was put on Metformin and Vyvanse to help and I have learned a lot within these months. I learned a lot about portions, what real hunger is, what life is like without constantly thinking about food and eating, I learned I don't need to finish a meal and I can throw it out, I became aware of emotional eating and my triggers behind it, I even stopped myself many times before binging, and I can no longer stomach what I used to eat and how much I ate. I think these are very valuable things to know.

But throughout those months there have been relapses and setbacks. Which honestly, I don't really have hard feelings for because the situations I was being put in were not good such as moving back in with parents and a lot of family issues.

My boyfriend seems unimpressed by my weight loss and thinks I should've lost more. He says I should've went to the gym and ate healthier. That I should've been meal prepping and weighing all my food. I was already nervous before telling him because I also thought that maybe I am making too slow progress with weight loss and this made me very sad. For a lot honestly. Because I feel I have made actually decent progress in terms of this eating disorder and I'm actually really happy that I binge way less and I feel I learned a lot and it's been entirely dismissed and he probably didn't even consider it. I don't know. I just feel this sucks in a way. Because he is right, but I also think I accomplished things...

Showering used to be nothing. You know, I’d just… take a shower. Now my brain a body feel like showering is some big thing and I find myself procrastinating showering. I don’t get it. It’s so simple.

I get that mental health and crap can make people feel this way, but like. WHY. It’s a shower for goodness’ sake, I feel disgusting for wanting to avoid basic personal hygiene.

I I need to vent because the hypocritical nonsense surrounding the Nike After Dark 10K event has me at my absolute limit.

For context, Nike After Dark was explicitly created and marketed as an event for women to "reclaim the night." Running at night as a woman is scary. We spend our lives checking over our shoulders, carrying key knuckles, keeping one earbud out, and worrying about being harassed or attacked. An event like this was supposed to be a safe, empowering space where female runners could finally experience running in the dark without feeling threatened.

And what happened?
Men registered, showed up, and ran in it anyway. Men..including actual male Nike staff members..decided they just had to center themselves in a space specifically created to give women a break from them.

When women expressed frustration about male participants showing up in a event explicitly designed for us, the outcry from men was completely predictable: "Legally, it has to be open to everyone!", "It’s gender discrimination if you exclude us!", and "Stop assuming their gender, you don't know how they identify!"

The audacity and entitlement are mind boggling.
Why is it that the second women request a single, peaceful, women centered space whether it’s a night run, a female only gym, or a women's club ..men immediately cry "discrimination" and threaten legal action or crash the event?

Yet, "Gentlemen’s Clubs," male only private golf courses, and exclusive male networking clubs have existed for decades. Men have no problem maintaining their own private spaces, gatekeeping business opportunities, and bonding without women present.

Nobody is filing endless discrimination lawsuits or crashing their private cigar lounges. Women generally let them have their spaces without throwing a fit!

But the moment we want one thing for ourselves..literally just a 10k night run where we don’t have to feel on edge..men jump at the chance to violate that boundary. They refuse to grant us the basic respect of stepping back, even when there are thousands of mixed gender races they could participate in instead.

If men insist on crying "discrimination" every time women ask for a safe boundary, maybe it's time we start matching their energy. Maybe we should start suing and challenging every single men only private club and organization out there.

If women aren't allowed to have single sex spaces for our safety and community without men barging in, why should they get to keep theirs?

I am so exhausted by the entitlement. We can’t even have a night run without men reminding us that our boundaries mean nothing to them.

here come’s the expected downvotes though, truth hurts🤥

It’s great for the most part, but it attracts the type of guys who are gonna put in the absolute bare minimum of efforts because “thank god you’re not a demanding princess type. You’re cool” UGH.

Even my own dad goes on sometimes about “princess” types and how annoying they are. He thinks demanding anything more than the bare minimum is too much. No wonder I got into abusive shitty relationships thinking that was normal.

I’m not actively trying to be a pickme “cool girl” type. I was in the past, but I cringe at those dark times and like to think I’ve moved past all that bs.

I genuinely just don’t want much. I drive a little rusted 20 year old car, not big on decorating my living space, don’t buy new stuff very often, don’t wear makeup or much jewelry due to personal choice (just a small $30 chain from Amazon lol) and my wardrobe isn’t much. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being “girly” but it’s not stuff I’m usually interested in. I still have some t-shirts/hoodies from highschool and like 3 pairs of shoes total 😭. I’m bummaxxing fr.

I’m trying to up my standards tho because jfc, the type of men I attract are usually sweaty gamer type dudes (I like certain video games…. but I have other hobbies too) who don’t want a relationship where they have to put any effort into. They want a gf they can just ignore and have sex with every once in awhile. Or it’s dudes who want a mommy who does everything for them.

I kinda want that girlboss energy that seems to attract higher value men. But I just can’t seem to do it 😭. I act like a nerdy autistic tomboy who yaps about weird things for 5 hours straight and a lot of guys think I’m weird. So I stay single for the most part. I’m fine with being weird though lol it’s not something I can change.

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years. We met in my last year of my undergraduate degree. We’ve had a really beautiful relationship together, and our love is undeniable.

However, he wants to stay in our home state. In his own words: Why would I leave if I have no reason to? I got a career I’m building, my family here, seasons that I like and anything that I need. All I’m missing is you.

My dream in life was always to live to the fullest, which means traveling and going on adventures. Moving to NYC. Potentially moving to London for a 2 year work visa. Going on a thrilling vacation once a year together, such as site seeing the Galapagos or hiking through the PNW.

I recently took the plunge and moved to NYC this past summer, and I was doubtful about our ability to withstand long distance. I was hoping and praying he would be open to coming with me eventually. After a few months now, I’m realizing this is very unlikely. There’s been pressure by our family to settle down and have kids but I am not ready for that. I think we need to break up or at least take a break but neither of us want to. It’s just a really sad situation where love is not enough, but it’s for the best. Any words of advice for my situation please?

Yesterday, around 6 PM, I was walking home from college with a female friend. It was already getting dark, and there weren’t many people around.
We passed a group of men sitting by the side of the road. One of them was crouching down, holding a half-empty Coca-Cola can and watching some liquid spill onto the pavement. I stepped over it to avoid walking through it, although I might have accidentally touched it with my foot.
Suddenly, one of the men started shouting “F U” at me. He was so loud that I could hear him clearly even through my headphones.
My friend and I decided not to react and just kept walking. A little later, I heard a can hit the ground and roll along the pavement. I believe one of them had kicked it in our direction.
The group then moved across the road. I briefly turned around, and that’s when a small stone hit my forearm. It was about the size of the top section of a finger. I was wearing a thick jacket, but I still felt the impact quite strongly, even though the man was standing some distance away.
They continued shouting things at us, but I decided to ignore them and keep walking. Honestly, I was quite scared at that point. I even thought they might follow us, but thankfully they didn’t.
What makes me angry is how completely unprovoked the whole thing was. I hadn’t said anything to them or tried to start an argument. Part of me wanted to turn around and ask what their problem was, but I knew that confronting a group of aggressive strangers in the dark probably wouldn’t end well.
I also didn’t want to show them how frightened I was because I worried they might start mocking us even more.
I keep thinking about whether ignoring them was the right decision. I know walking away was probably the safest option, but I’m still angry that something like this can happen when you’re simply trying to get home.
Would you have handled the situation differently?

I (29F) recently started dating a guy (30M), and I’m struggling to figure out what to do.

Our first date was genuinely amazing. He seemed like the kind of person I had been hoping to meet. I was physically attracted to him, he was sweet, thoughtful, attentive, and considerate. We seemed compatible in so many ways, and I left the date feeling really happy.

However, things changed during our second date. He started reading into everything I said or did, asking me why I had laughed at something, why I had said something a certain way, and interpreting things negatively. It felt like he was constantly trying to figure out whether I meant something bad, even when I didn’t. He seemed to take things personally and would question me repeatedly, almost as if I had to justify myself.

At one point, he said something along the lines of, “I guess you’re not going to see me again,” and referred to the last 30 minutes we had together, which made me feel guilty and emotionally pressured.

After he drove me home, we talked for about an hour. He acknowledged that things had become intense very quickly and explained that he might have been acting this way because he liked me so much and was anxious about it. I decided to give things some time rather than immediately walk away.

Unfortunately, over the following week, the same pattern continued. He kept questioning why I laughed, why I said certain things, and interpreting small interactions negatively. I started feeling as though I was being interrogated or held accountable for every little thing I did.

At this point, I honestly don’t feel like continuing to see him. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I have to constantly explain myself or worry about how something innocent might be interpreted.

The difficult part is that, in many other ways, he seems like someone I could be very compatible with. I’m scared of walking away from someone who has so many qualities I want in a partner, and I keep wondering whether I’m giving up too quickly or failing to give him a fair chance.

I understand that dating can make people anxious, especially when they genuinely like someone. But I also feel that being anxious doesn’t justify repeatedly questioning another person’s intentions or making them feel guilty.

How would you approach this situation? Would you walk away at this stage, or would you give him another chance to see whether he can change this behavior? I would really appreciate some outside perspectives, especially from people who have experienced something similar.

Edit:

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to share their experiences and offer me advice. I really appreciate hearing different perspectives, especially from people who have been through similar situations.

I wanted to add a little context to explain why I made this post. I grew up experiencing emotional neglect, and I sometimes struggle to distinguish between behavior that is genuinely concerning or manipulative and behavior that might simply be a normal human flaw. I’ve managed to build a good life for myself and have come a long way, but I’m realizing that being intelligent or successful doesn’t necessarily mean you know how to navigate every aspect of relationships.

Some people mentioned that I might be looking for attention or trying to find a reason to criticize him, but that genuinely wasn’t my intention. He was extremely kind, attentive, and considerate toward me. The behavior I mentioned happened only twice, and because everything else seemed good, I started wondering whether I was being too quick to walk away over small imperfections, as I sometimes tend to do, or whether these were signs of a genuine issue.

I did ask people close to me for their opinions, and while some advised me not to overthink it, others felt I should simply walk away. That’s why I wanted to hear from people outside my immediate circle, too.

Thank you again to everyone who responded with kindness, shared their own experiences, or helped me look at the situation from a different perspective. It means a lot.

The run was meant for women. To empower women. For women to run in the dark, wearing whatever's comfortable, wearing headsets, and being safe from predators (men).

But guess who just had to invade the women's space? That's right: men!

Can we not ever have anything to ourselves?!?

It is likely (though not 100% confirmed, the Wayback Machine didn't capture every year) this is the first time the domain has had factual information about abortion in over 20 years. It used to route to anti-abortion sites.

I have what I call a "Boss Bitch" playlist that I listen to at the gym, on my runs, before important meetings, etc, to pump myself up. But sometimes these songs have the opposite effect. Especially if I'm at the gym in a nursing bra and an oversized shirt with pit stains surrounded by beautiful women in Lululemon and then Megan thee stallion has gotta kick me while I'm down talking about her curvy crazy big titties little waist 🫠 and then for the final K.O. my broke ass will get a follow up song about shopping on Rodeo drive from Kim Petras lol.

Money fades, looks fade, are there songs that are rooted in more stable forms of empowerment and not such shallow external factors? Or is this a deep personal problem where my confidence is so poor it can be shaken by something as silly as a mere song?? Either way, I'd love "boss bitch" music recommendations that don't involve talking about looks or money TIA <3

Does anyone else have experience with men pointing out things that never bothered you, causing insecurities you never had previously?

I still refuse to wax my upper lip because I personally don’t give a shit and it doesn’t bother me. But I’ve had multiple men (who I’ve dated, no less) kinda offhandedly mention the mustache.

There’s been other things like men pointing out how my jaw structure is weird, my nose is huge, my side profile is weird. These I do have insecurities over because I sucked my thumb nightly until I was ~16 years old and I think it messed up my facial/jaw development to a degree. Dentists say I’m pretty much fine, so it’s all cosmetic. I have an overbite too, but it’s not unbearable. I’ve always been self-conscious about my lips/nose/side profile cuz they’re kinda chopped. But whatever, there’s other things in life to worry about.

I don’t wear makeup because it bothers me and I also prefer to buy other things with my money. Personal choice. Maybe no makeup makes things more visible, idk.

I’ve also had a few of them (including one I was in an abusive relationship with) point out how my ass is small and/or flat and that I should do squats to “fix” it.

I just don’t understand why they feel the need to make these rude comments. It’s like they’re personally offended by a woman not being attractive enough for them.

Like I didn’t fucking ask???? Leave me alone???

Something my boyfriend mentioned in therapy is that he thinks I would make a fantastic mom/parent, if not a bit controlling, but he doesn’t trust me to not make being a parent my entire identity. He said as it stands now he doesn’t want to marry me because he sees signs that he will ultimately be his last priority should kids and marriage come into play and he can’t live like that long term.

Once I was past my initial defensiveness, I talked with my own therapist she asked me what I think makes me a good partner and it kind of left me thinking. I want to make myself a list but I find myself at a standstill and rapidly judging myself as bare minimum.

Idk what I should be striving towards.

like everyone around me is talking about skincare routines or planning weddings or saving up for houses and i'm just here like "why does this feel mandatory." is it just me or do we put so much pressure on ourselves to want the "right" things that we forget to actually figure out what we actually want?

I've seen a lot of porn ads and videos that honestly just leave me feeling completely grossed out. The ads thenselves are so overly dramatic and honestly replusive. It's hard to understand how anyone finds it hot or appealing. For example, the constant obsession with men ejaculating on a woman's breasts or in her mouth just looks messy, gross and dehumanizing rather than hot. Then there's the imagery — like a woman hanging her tongue out like a dog while she's being fucked. It feels so degrading and bizarre.

On top of the visuals, the plots and dialogues are frequently gross and deeply disturbing. Especially when it shows a woman unconsenting to sex is pressured or coerced. They make it look like she's tempted but deep down doesnt want it. I remeber seeing one i couldnt finish because it was so disturbing. It shows a woman having sex with a creepy man who offers her to pay for her college if she lets him touch her and have sex with her, another one includes a woman having sex with a man who was literally stalking her, just to get him to leave her alone. How the hell is any of this supposed to be a turn on?

I know everyone has different tastes and unusual scenarios and dialogues gaurantees views, but mainstrean porn feels like it's completely catered to degarding women rather than actual mutual pleasure. Does anyone else feel disgusted by how normalized this has become? I'd love to hear how other people view this or if you've just tuned it out.

Before commenting please read: yes, infantalizing women is a thing, I know. I'll give an example; men forcing help on a woman who is capable of the task at hand and treating her like she's incompetent. See? I smart. The people I'm talking about aren't using it properly. Ok anyway

So I noticed recently that whenever there's a post about a power imbalance or about how and why women stay in abusive relationship, there's always at least one Jabroni in the comments that pipes up about "infantalizing women". I just find this odd and I wonder if anybody else has noticed it. Like someone will say it's predatory for an old fuck to date someone young enough to be his daughter and someone will reply about how you're infantalizing her to call out the maturity gap? Even if the girl in question is like freshly 18 (hell I've even seen someone say that about a 16 year old because it was legal in her county. Yikes).

The weirder version of this is in discussions about abusive relationships. I will see someone comment that we shouldn't be extending compassion and understanding to these women because it's "infantalizing her and she's an adult she can leave if she wanted". Which is just insane to me. I've seen people follow it up with "well anyone can leave a bad relationship unless they have no family or money" like wow good job dude you ran into the exact reason why most people don't! Wow! Maybe people deserve sympathy! Maybe love and understanding isn't something unique to children! Maybe being nice to people will make it easier to leave, I don't know what they think shunning and shaming an abuse victim will do.

It's like "she's mature for her age" and "she must like it if she stays" all over again in a feminist sheepskin. I know it's not very widespread but I've seen it enough times now that it's become a pattern and I want to know where it comes from. I know it's another version of using therapy speak wrong, but I want to know how they came up with this in particular because it really doesn't make much sense. In 2026 are people still this ignorant about abusive dynamics? Do they really never question why people do things and why stuff is wrong? Do you think it's just creeps and weirdos gaining a brain cell to find a less upfront gross way to express their shitty ideas?

It seems like at least a portion of it is coming from (a very small minority) of the older individual crowd, at least they claim to be. Which is interesting to me because in my experience it's been the older crowd that continue to actually infantalize the hell out of the younger generation while also forcing them to grow up way faster than they need. And I wonder if it's some of that attitude seeping through. No shade to older women in this sub though the majority of you are absolutely wonderful and just as much if not more informed on these dynamics and why they're wrong. But alas these people are using age as a weird gotcha in these arguments too so thought I'd mention it.

Am I crazy? Has anybody else noticed this?

I don't even seek out videos or content with misogyny imbued in them, but lately, I've been coming across extremely concerning videos, often with hundreds of thousands (even millions of views) of just plain old misogyny.

The ones that get me the most are the ones where men openly call women bitches. I don't even think we really have an equivalent term for men. It pisses me off to an insane extent when I see men refer to women this way. Sometimes, it feels super damaging and degrading to witness comments such as those.

The misogyny is getting super out of hand though. What do you as women do to deal with it when you come across these types of content (unwillingly)?

i (f22) have been married to my husband (m29) for over two years now. within the past year i have been feeling more and more dismissed, disrespected, and uncared for. personally i would consider it just on the border of emotional abuse, but i feel really bad calling it that. it’s caused a huge decline for my mental health and truthfully i do really just want to leave.

the problem is, i am severely sick. i have a degenerative condition and i am unable to take care of my basic needs on my own, let alone work at all. i don’t get disability benefits because i haven’t worked since 2021 so in turn i cannot hire a care worker (i am not american). i currently stay with my (abusive) patents because he works overseas, but he has offered to come back to care for me. my parents are getting older and i just worry about what will happen to me if they are no longer able to care for me and i end up completely alone. i don’t have any close friends, so unfortunately my husband and my parents are the only people i have to rely on.

is it worth preserving some of my mental health to leave even if that means risking homelessness and death if something happens to my parents?

Sweethearts by Philippa Lysaght and Omi McCurdie is a confronting artwork commemorating Australian women killed by violence. Each heart bears a familiar excuse used to minimise domestic abuse, from “boys will be boys” to “she could’ve left”. Together, they expose how easily violence against women is dismissed, justified or blamed on the victim rather than the perpetrator.