Good afternoon family today I am blessed today with some good weather and a day of reflections hanging out by the Mystic River with my dog here in Boston Ma.

Today I'm feeling better just thinking about all the things I'm grateful for. I'm sitting here river side asking myself why did I always complain about how my life was and is.

I should be grateful that my higher power wakes me up everyday with my health relatively good and able to see another day to make changes.

Because there are plenty of people out there that have not been given the opportunity to make changes.

So I better be thankful and grateful for when a day doesn't go the way I want it to and to be thankful that I'm still here to fix it because plenty didn't get the chance to.

So when u find myself belly aching over a sad day I better tighten up a be grateful. Because there isn't anything in my life today that I should be complaining about because I'm still here to make improvements.

One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

What’s the point of being sober if I’m never happy and am basically depressed 24/7. I’ve been sober 50 days now from alcohol and drugs. Not a single day have I been happy what so ever. I’m pretty much over it. I just don’t get what the point is. People keep saying “it gets better” and “early sobriety sucks”. Ive been doing everything I can to be a better person and do the right things and just take it easy and give myself a break but this sucks and I don’t know how people do it. I almost feel like everyone in AA is just lying when they share that life is 1000x better and everything of there wildest dreams happened. My life sucks honestly I know it could be worse but I’m curious did I dig myself in a hole I’m never going to get out of ? I’ve been a poly drug user / alcoholic for the better part of 11 years. I just don’t know what to do. My dog is the only thing that gives me the will to live right now

Man, what an irritatingly uncomfortable yet hopeful ride. The stages of this process and constant emotional shifts are insane. One second, I'm walking in the park and having this strange sense of being able to really just have some presence enjoying the nature around me. I'm just observing how beautiful it is and thinking about how much I missed the feeling of stopping to smell the roses. The next second, I'm back walking on the sidewalk, and every car I hear driving past me makes me wanna throw a rock at them. Certain sounds are just incredibly annoying right now. I'm constantly holding in anger around people because I am well aware how displaced it is, yet now and then I have a moment where I'm texting a good friend and former partner, and I feel this sense on love that felt almost muddled before. It's like my heart cracked through a shell I'd built for a second.

The last couple of days have been absolutely hellish, but today is giving me hope. Hope that my brain is on its way to getting back to normal.

I write this after having 9 drinks yesterday. Like what is wrong with me? Drinking a similar amount or less everyday for 3 plus years . My stomach is in pain, I have work tomorrow at a job I utmost despise and I probably will get a terminal illness from all the drinking I did . I have destroyed relationships by drinking and my outlook on life is so bleak. I was actually caught on FaceTime drinking to someone that I told I wasn’t drinking. Breaks my heart because this is someone that I could have had a romantic potential. Like why am I lying to people I care about and hiding it? 29 years old, using up my money on drinking and ruining ny life. I feel delirious and gonna throw up I want to go to the hospital but I don’t know what they can do. I can’t stop drinking it’s so bad. I’m so alone. Took my future away. Like I drank so much and it’s already too late I know I posted here before but I’m at rock bottom

My friendgroup uninvited from a party because i "always" drink too much. I honestly have been overly drunk like 2 times, not trying to cover anything but actually. I feel kike this is personal towards me and it feels like shit. I like to drink my emotions and im sorry for that but it doesnt mean you should sign me out of a function. In stead of asking me to go sober they decided i shouldnt come at all.

Trying to get some stuff done to get my mind off the really bad want to drink but my body just feels like crap i keep getting random waves of naseu and my tinnitus is pretty bad rn due to the drinking. i hate this endless loop

I’m looking for advice from people who have been in a similar situation because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
My spouse and I have been together for 16 years, since high school, and have been married for 6 years. In every other aspect of our relationship, we can be an amazing team. When things are good, they’re really good, and I couldn’t be happier. But when alcohol becomes part of the picture, everything changes, and I feel lost.
About two years ago, my spouse had a seizure due to alcohol withdrawal and ended up in the hospital for five days, three of those in the ICU. After that, they stayed sober for four months before relapsing. They continued drinking for about six months before going to rehab. They then stayed sober for another four months before relapsing again. Within two weeks, they asked for help and returned to rehab.
After that, they were sober for several months, but for the past six months or so, it’s been an on-and-off cycle. They’ll stay sober for a couple of weeks and then start drinking again.
They recently started a new job, so going back to rehab doesn’t feel like a realistic option right now. I know there are other treatment options, but I’m struggling with the emotional side of all of this.
The drinking is hard enough, but the lying has become a huge issue, too. My spouse isn’t physically abusive, but when I confront them about drinking, they often lie about it, and I end up finding out the truth anyway. It’s exhausting feeling like I have to figure things out instead of being able to trust what my partner tells me.
I recently told them that if I caught them lying to me again, they would need to find somewhere else to stay for a while. Now I’m struggling with actually following through. We’ve been together for so much of our lives, and the thought of having to take that step is heartbreaking. At the same time, I don’t want to keep making boundaries that I never enforce.
I love my spouse, and I want our marriage to work. I want us to have a family and build a future together, but I’m scared of what that future will look like if this cycle continues. I don’t want to give up on someone I’ve spent 16 years loving, but I also don’t know how much longer I can live with the uncertainty, the drinking, and the dishonesty.
For those who have been in a relationship with someone struggling with alcoholism, how did you handle this? Did you set firm boundaries or separate for a while? How did you know when to keep fighting for the relationship and when you needed to put yourself first?
I’m not looking for judgment or to be told to just leave. I’m genuinely looking for advice from people who understand how complicated it is to love someone with an addiction while trying not to lose yourself in the process.
Thank you to anyone willing to share their experiences. ❤️

it really sucks my ex gf and i got into a bad fight when i was drunk due to us just not being very compatible cus we moved in together way too fast. At the time i didnt have really any friends or anyone really which has always been the norm for me. Now it is 7 months later and im just so alone. Again i had a friend but we broke things off because of my drinking and since her father was an addict it just was a trigger for her. Don’t blame her at all. Sometimes i drink because of this agonizing loneliness i just want a friend and a companion. My only companion most days is the bottom of a bottle. Really going through it rn:/

I (23) used to be a heavy drinker, used to finish half of a liter bottle of vodka a night for a good 5 months until I finally decided to get sober after life events. I went to therapy, AA meetings, and had a good support system overall but now after another very close relatives passing, I've turned to the bottle for grief. I'm ashamed of myself, but it's like I can't stop again. It's like I've fallen into the same old ways again and I'm disappointed to say the least. After months of maintaining sobriety, hard work, I've let one small thing bring all of that tumbling down.

Hi everyone,

I'm going through a really difficult time in my life right now. My relationship of six years is falling apart. I deeply love my girlfriend, and I know she loves me too. I've always imagined us growing old together, but we're facing a serious problem, and a lot of it comes down to my relationship with alcohol.

Since I was around 16, I've spent most weekends getting completely wasted with friends, sometimes to the point of putting myself and others in dangerous situations. There have been periods when I've slowed down or stopped drinking, but somehow I always end up falling back into the same patterns.

I've betrayed my girlfriend multiple times, always while under the influence, and I've severely damaged the trust between us. I take responsibility for what I've done, and it hurts to realise how much pain I've caused someone I love so deeply.

More generally, I often feel lost in life. Even though I'm surrounded by genuinely good people who support and care about me, I struggle to escape my own thoughts and insecurities. Alcohol has often felt like a way to find freedom, let loose, and stop overthinking everything.

The frustrating part is that I genuinely want to change. I make decisions, set goals, and start building better habits. Sometimes things go really well for a week or two, and I begin to feel calmer and more in control. But eventually, I slip back into old behaviours.

I'm 35 now, and I'm getting tired of repeating the same mistakes, hurting myself, and hurting the people I love.

I'm starting to question whether I can handle this on my own and what kind of help or approach might actually work for me.

Has anyone here experienced something similar? How did you manage to break the cycle, especially when alcohol was so closely connected to your friendships, social life, and sense of freedom?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences. Thanks for reading.

I was 3 months sober, I was proud, then I took it all away for some dumb cheap thrill and haven't been able to stop since then. I have to hide my drinking from my partner since it was destroying him that I've been doing this to myself but it's getting to the point where I can't act normal enough to hide it. He hasn't acknowledged it, but i'm sure he suspects it. I feel awful but the awful feeling isn't enough to get me to stop.

What motivated you to finally quit? I'm trying to find it within myself. I haven't been to any meetings in a while since the past couple times I have gone just involved men trying to flirt and hit me up when I just want to focus on myself and getting better. I feel like I'll never get better.

Man oh man. I WAS sober for 10 months 17 days ago. It hurts. Went out for two days and am back on the wagon. Going to AA meetings everyday and have a sponsor…. Grateful to be an alcoholic and be here (:

This is my first ever reddit post so I hope it‘s okay but,

I’ve been drinking since I was about 16, I started drinking regularly (at least once a week) at 17. I’d steal my parents alcohol late at night taking swigs from as many bottles as I could to ensure I would get as drunk as possible without getting caught.

My first time drinking more than a sip or two I threw up all over my front porch at 3 in the morning all because I was bummed my boyfriend went out with friends. I felt horrible and it was a terrible experience but three days later I did it again, this time drinking slightly less.

Then it just became habit to drink whenever I felt down and my parents were asleep.

Once I turned 18 I realised I had free rein to drink all I wanted (I live in Australia.) and it went from a, “oh I feel slightly bummed I’m gonna swig some of my parents vodka!” to “I need to be plastered to fall asleep.”

Ive always known it was bad but I do it anyway and it’s gotten to the point where I’m showing up to school drunk, sneaking drinks at work and in general I need it to function.

im so young and upset ive knowingly let myself do such stupid things.

anyone else struggling? I’d love to hear about your life and or any advice you might have!

thank you!

Can anyone help me, I’ve been very agitated and anxious since becoming sober. Thoughts and self hatred racing. Anyone have any tips? Thanks.

I’m 2+ years sober and I wouldn’t really say that I struggle with not drinking. I bartend so I’m around it constantly and never get an “urge” to pour myself a shot or anything. I have a really bad day and it never occurs to me to get a drink. You get the gist. That said, I a, struggling with the rest of it. I’ve made some big changes recently and I’m happy with them, but the changes aren’t enough. I need to get out of bartending. A woman who is friends with my abusive ex started working with me and I’m definitely struggling with it. Have started having nightmares again sometimes, my anger is coming back and I’m having trouble letting it go. I’m in a management role at work and am again having trouble letting go of my frustrations with my coworkers. I am having trouble unwinding and starting clean in the mornings. I feel unbelievably trapped in bartending, I desperately want to get out but it’s a long role ahead and I’m unsure where to start, but I know that I am now emotionally in a place to come up with and execute a plan, go to school or get a certificate, all that.

Does anyone have any book recommendations not for getting sober, but more emotional regulation and how to actually get centered enough to take action to make major changes

A lot of people refuse to go to AA because they think it’s a religious cult.

Or they hear the God word and right back out the door.

And look, firstly, it’s not a cult. Nobody’s taking your money or locking the doors.

Secondly, if you’re an atheist, agnostic, or you’ve been burned by religion, walking into a room and hearing about a Higher Power is uncomfortable. That’s a completely rational reaction.

But what if we strip away the religion and look at what a Higher Power actually requires?

AA just says it needs to be a force greater than yourself. And if you want something you can actually prove exists, use Love.

Think about it. It's a very viable higher power. It's tangible, we feel it.

People who truly love themselves, and look after their own wellbeing, don’t drink addictively.

When we show up to recovery, most of us don't feel very lovable.

The fellowship is just borrowing a bit of love and connection from a room full of people until you can build your own self-respect back up.

You don't need to find religion to get sober. You just need to stop fighting yourself long enough to let people help you.

Take the connection, leave the dogma, and don’t let a single word from 1939 keep you trapped in a cycle you hate.

Sto bevendo. Qualunque nella stessa situazione?

in the last 24 hours, i drank an entire bottle of captain morgan, sniffing blow the whole time. when that ran out i started drinking vodka. Im genuinely scared of what might happen. What point can alcohol become deadly?

im 22 from scotland been drinking everyday fir the past 2 years. I hate the person i have becomei feel like i dont know who i am anymore. i keep on fucking up the few friendships i have i want to stop but everytime i try i last a few hours and everything feels so boring without a drink

just wondering if anyone out there is willing to call me so i can’t talk a bit, on insta or whatever, just message me

Hello all, ive come here for some advice. Im curious as to what happens to me maybe 20-30 % of the time with no definitive reasoning. I can go days to week without drinking no issues, no anxiety or anything. I am a usual daily drinker, some just 3-5 units other times around 10. On a big night i may push up to 18units. It seems sometimes when i push past 15 units which really isnt a huge amount is like 7 standard 2unit 5 percent beers. About 2 hours after stopping i usually get anxiety, but sometimes i get tremors like shaking uncontrollably, it always passes sometimes lasts a minute sometimes an hour. i also chain smoke and i will drink usually for 3-7 hours and smoke throughout.

Is this blood sugar? just the knock on effect of coming down? sometimes never happens, i usually stay hydrated or have a meal before.

I'm sober from alcohol for 6 years now. But I have been going through a lot of things, no one should have to go through and missing the bottle a lot more lately.

The main problem in my life is infidelity. The H3 scandle is making it so much worse. Everywhere is look on social media theres something about cheating.

I often want to just give in and feel the numbness I was in for ten years.

I have been thinking about going maybe to AA but there is something stopping me. I can't figure it out. I could go tonight at 8pm, think I should try it?