r/dadjokes • u/monorico • 2h ago
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods.
254
Upvotes
But harder to deter gents.
r/dadjokes • u/ilikesidehugs • 6h ago
My wife looked out the window and asked, “How did you finally get our lawn to grow like that?” I said, “Every morning this week, I sprinkled my protein powder on the wet grass.”
389
Upvotes
She nodded. “Ah… well that was whey over dew.”
r/dadjokes • u/Historical-Buff777 • 9h ago
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
235
Upvotes
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter
r/dadjokes • u/IEnjoyDadJokes • 8h ago
Iamonthemoonandthereisnowheretogetabeer
173
Upvotes
.
Thereisnospacebar.
r/dadjokes • u/subsailor1968 • 4h ago
I crossed cheetah and crab DNA.
79
Upvotes
It went sideways really fast.
r/dadjokes • u/BattledroidE • 13h ago
What's the worst series to make a Lego version of?
234
Upvotes
One Piece
r/dadjokes • u/trebityblebity • 3h ago
Who designs all the buildings in the oceans?
31
Upvotes
Sharkitects.
r/dadjokes • u/DanRpdx • 2h ago
Did you hear about the Transformer who's move is to just play dead until the trouble blows over?
18
Upvotes
Opossumus Prime.
r/dadjokes • u/sthwnkl • 1h ago
Just saw a bag of cashews in the store for $11.49
•
Upvotes
That’s nuts.
r/dadjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 7h ago
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
29
Upvotes
A necktarine!
r/dadjokes • u/Ok-Sandwich-5979 • 20h ago
What’s the difference between a foot and a yard
260
Upvotes
You can’t shit on your neighbor’s foot in the middle of the night.
r/dadjokes • u/Specialist-You-1230 • 2h ago
Why do they get excited when the phone rings in Hawaii?
9
Upvotes
It’s always potential spam !
r/dadjokes • u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 • 2h ago
My neighbor had help from a demon to pickle some cucumbers.
7
Upvotes
She made a dill with the devil
r/dadjokes • u/SufficientEar1682 • 5h ago
A male e-reader and a female e-reader went to couples therapy.
12
Upvotes
In hopes to rekindle that relationship.
r/dadjokes • u/VoiceOverGaming900 • 23h ago
I just opened up a new archeological museum. What is it called?
327
Upvotes
Remains to be seen...
r/dadjokes • u/Vaquero-SASS • 13h ago
I was arrested for playing loud music in my garden.
52
Upvotes
I was charged with disturbing the peas.
r/dadjokes • u/andersonfmly • 19h ago
This weekend's forecast calls for rane, hale, gailz, drissle, thun-durr, litneen, hy-tydes, tawnaydoes, and frizzing colde...
119
Upvotes
Looks like a really bad Spell of weather.
r/dadjokes • u/No-Cat3867 • 4h ago
Why did the zombie cross the road?
6
Upvotes
Because he was dying to eat you.
r/dadjokes • u/bigus-_-dickus • 20h ago
i asked my date to meet me at the gym but she ghosted me
127
Upvotes
i don't think we're gonna work out
r/dadjokes • u/DeltaCommandFish • 29m ago
I used to drive a hearse.
•
Upvotes
It was fun because everyone was dying to get a ride. I made a killing.
r/dadjokes • u/sproutarian • 15h ago
A guy hurt his back while at the computer.
42
Upvotes
He had a slipped disc.